Boyfailure - Tumblr Posts

MY NEMESIS JUST CALLED ME A BOYFAILURE

If you graph badassery against the ability to have sex; the line raises steadily until after the Chuck Noris point where it just drops off a cliff.

I call this the "Erkon Virginity Phenomenon", which describes how extreme badasses stop being able to get laid because women fear their size and/or they’ve transcended the very need for sex. 

This is why I’m still single. Totally.

I'm married to science!

i mean, i'd rather be married to the hero or a hot lab assistant but science is fine too i guess

nemesis relationships

superhero; *ties me up* me, gay villain; “kinky" superhero; *quips at me then throws me into jail at the speed of light destroying several buildings* sidekick twink; *ties me up* sidekick twink; “i have a boyfriend” (their boyfriend is the superhero) me, gay villain; “dang” agent superspy; “hey, wanna try bondage?” me, gay villain; “hell yeah!” agent superspy; *ties me up and takes my launch codes* agent superspy; *leaves* me, gay villain; “dang” boymoder magical girl; *ties me up* me, pan villain; “kinky” boymoder magical girl; “you fool you absolute buffoon do you have any idea the meaning of the words you speak you could not even begin to comprehend the levels of kink to which i delve daily i’ve seen things you would not even believe you little sponge” me, pan villain; “puppy girl?” boymoder magical girl; boymoder magical girl; “n-no" boymoder magical girl; (to self); "dang” dommy mommy superheroine; *ties me up in full shibari and talks about taking me to jail* (kinky) me, oblivious pan villain boyfailure; “dang” hardboiled dilf private detective; *ties me up* me, gay villain; “kinky” oblivious hardboiled private detective manfailure; *ruminates on all the possible meanings of this new puzzle i’ve presented him with. a threat? a hint?? just a passive remark??? what could it mean????* antihero; “h-hey, don’t get the wrong idea here! it’s not like i like you, or anything! i just dispense justice indiscriminately, baka!”  antihero; *shoots me in the head* me, gay villain; *dies*

Gay Mad Scientist Villain: "So, did it hurt?"

Superhero: "No. I'm indestructible."

Gay Mad Scientist Villain: "When you fell from heaven!"

Superhero: "Well, my entire species had just died when I first came to earth, so when I fell from the sky it did hurt emotionally, yes."

Gay Mad Scientist Villain: "L-let's start over"

He means the world to me. (I fling him at walls constantly.)

I love him so much in ways words cannot describe. (I only ever write him suffering and when I do let him experience happiness I find a way to tear it away.)

I find myself constantly thinking about him. (I hope he fucking explodes.)

He’s such an amazingly written character. (He’s such a boy-failure and I bully him everyday.)

Seriously this character has me in a chokehold like no other has before and he’s literally a Gacha antagonist but every time I think about him I think about the tragedy of his self-inflicted turmoil and I curl up and cry. His life was left in shambles and it’s mostly his fault and it’s sad but I can’t stop rotating him in my mind.

GRIAN!?@,# i really love his dynamic with scar (third life specifically because i won't lie to you, i don't normally watch grian. I WANT TO THOUGH!!)

Akdhdjka i really enjoyed figuring his hair out, it's so simple BUT I DID GO THROUGH SOME TROUBLW GETTING IT TO WHERE IT IS

Also i'm now realizing he looks like those college au dipper pines designs??

let the struggles begin

Basically! 🤩

Love how Caleb is simultaneously super accomplished and a huge girlfailure

subtitle narrator :0

lil man. hes such a failure. i love him so much

I don’t really like drawing, but I like pathetic men, so, uh…

I know Kuuya’s probably more subtle than that, but I couldn’t get this image out of my head

nahh, it would be very much in Kuuya's boyfailure genes that he'll forget that he's wearing YOUR shirt (that he STOLE) in front of YOU😔your scent is too good and its preventing him from thinking straight smh!!!!!

(Thank you so much for the gorgeous art!!!!!! look at how soft and cute he is!!!!!!! this made me so happy when i received it :''D )