redramzi

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PL ᴥ Ginger girl with crazy mind ᴥ writer (I wish xD), artist (good joke xD) and human (maybe in 12%)

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Thanks For The Shoutout, And You Know What? I Feel It's Specifically Targeted At People Like Me, Whose

Thanks for the shoutout, and you know what? I feel it's specifically targeted at people like me, whose story goes similar to mine, so here is my story:

Age <14; you think you are hetero

Age 14-15; you think you might be Bi because your best friend (same gender) is so smart/ so beautiful/ so cute/ all of it, and you just go fjeksojfbwoa every time you see them, so you label yourself bisexual

Age 15-16; actually scratch the bisexuality, you don't really care about the gender anyway, you just want somebody to love you, anyone, so you do some research and discover that hey! Pansexuals don't care about the gender of people they love, so you must be Pan, right? That's logical conclusion

Age 16-17; okay, so this is the time, when people start talking more openly about sex, right? So, you realize you aren't a child any more, they talk about theirs first time or even get pregnant, and you just sit there like 😐 because WAIT! People your age really are doing it? They talk about things they felt before and after... And you just sit there because... Okay, you read (or even write) some smutty fanfics/novels, you know what sex is and everything, you even joke about it, so they have to be lying, that's impossible, you never felt like that, something has to be wrong, so you do some more research, and you find it... Asexuality, you are happy because that means you aren't a freak, a robot or a not-human creature to be killed (things I was called by some random dudes after I told them I don't feel sexual attraction) and you have a new label for yourself, you think you are panromantic asexual

Age 17-21; you are comfortable with your sexuality and romantic attraction, you find the best fitting description for yourself, you are happy with it, so you put it on the shelf and forget about it because now you know who you are, you have some problems with your gender, but that's another topic because you are almost 22 years old and... Welp, you never dated anyone, you rarely have crushes, and you don't look for love, not like some people do, no, you just... Don't feel it? "Again?" you ask yourself, It's... Welp, you know about aromantic people, you read too much about it, to not recognize it in yourself... But... You still want love... It's difficult enough when you are asexual, and... How? How are you going to find love now? So, you just... Don't label yourself because it's easier

Age 22; After some anxiety time you calm down and accept, that after 7-8 years of mislabelling yourself you are somewhere on aro/ace spectrum, and that history really like to repeating itself because for so many years you (again) thought no romantic feelings = panromantic...

I really would like this to be a joke, but almost 4 years of thinking that no sexual attraction = bi-/pansexuality AND THEN almost 8 years of thinking no romantic attraction = bi-/panromantic... Like how blind I am? How many times I will step on the same fucking rake and bonk by head with the handle?!

in honor of ace week id like to shoutout every asexual who first thought they were bi/pan because they looked at all the genders and felt no difference and zero is equal to zero so they said "huh. must be bisexual" and then shoved their sexuality back under the rug for 3-5 years

Thanks For The Shoutout, And You Know What? I Feel It's Specifically Targeted At People Like Me, Whose

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