Me When Im Still Tired After 8 Shots Of Espresso In One Sitting

Me when I’m still tired after 8 shots of espresso in one sitting

don’t bully me for how i spelled delicious

Just got an add for bird treats. Joke’s on you, advertisement company, my bird has more treats than she’ll ever need! She’s a spoiled little creature and she knows it

I’ve gotten four hours of sleep in the last three days

the dream is to give my ring to a pretty boy, who wears it as a necklace, and kisses it every time he misses me

I want to have a partner, but I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s life. I know I’m no good. And that I can’t change what I am. I just wish that the people who care about me weren’t imaginary.

This applies to friends, too. Everyone leaves in the end, and I’m not gonna pretend that I don’t know why. It’s because I’m not a good person. I know that.

People show up because they see me and think I’m who I pretend to be. They tell me that I can take my mask off around them. And like an idiot, I fall for it. I let them see a glimpse of what I really am. And without fail, they leave. Because what I really am is a monster. A wounded creature lashing out and biting at anything that gets too close.

Don’t show me kindness. I’ll fall in love. And I’ll end up destroying both of us.

Can someone just tell me who I am? Because I don’t know anymore. That fact in the mirror, it isn’t me. The voice I hear when this mouth moves isn’t mine. The hands I’m using to type these words feel wrong. Who am I? Where am I? What am I?