I Violated That Book In So Many Ways Last Time I Read That It's Not Even Funny

I violated that book in so many ways last time I read that it's not even funny

got through the nirnaeth arnoediad chapter and uh. fingon is dead and gelmir is dead and haldir is dead and huor is dead and bór is dead and azaghâl is dead and a fuck ton of other people are dead and gwindor is captured and húrin is captured and me I feel also not so good

Tulkas is so funny to me. His greatest joy in life is fighting Melkor. In theory he basically fills the role of "God of War" but in practice it's really just "God of Kicking Melkor's Ass".

I imagine Nessa saw this on Tulkas' dating profile:

Likes: Breaking Morgoth's stupid face.

Dislikes: Morgoth's stupid face.

Hobbies: Rearranging the features of Morgoth's stupid face; painting landscapes with Morgoth's blood; learning new knots to tie Morgoth's limbs in.

Favorite Music: Morgoth's bitchy scream; Morgoth's bones snapping; Morgoth begging for mercy.

This is already over but I agree with the results

"Oh, what are you doing, And where are you going? Your ponies need shoeing, The river is flowing! Oh, tra-la-la-lally Here down in the valley, ha! ha!" – Elves of Rivendell, The Hobbit

“You are more worthy to wear the armour of elf-princes than many that have looked more comely in it.” – Thranduil, The Hobbit

“May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!” – Thranduil, The Hobbit

"A Elbereth Gilthoniel, silivren penna miriel. 0 menel aglar elenath!" – Elves of Rivendell, The Fellowship of the Ring

"Such is of the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere." – Elrond Halfelven, The Fellowship of the Ring

"Farewell, and may the blessing of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you. May the stars shine upon your faces!" – Elrond Halfelven, The Fellowship of the Ring

"Yes, they are elves, and they say that you breathe so loud they could shoot you in the dark." – Legolas Greenleaf, The Fellowship of the Ring

"And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!" – Galadriel, The Fellowship of the Ring

"In this phial is caught the light of Eärendil’s star, set amid the waters of my fountain. It will shine still brighter when night is about you. May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out." – Galadriel, The Fellowship of the Ring

"Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos!" – Fëanor, The Silmarillion

"...neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh, finding keepeth or afar casteth a Silmaril." – Fëanor and His Sons, Morgoth's Ring

Across the sea a pale moon rises

Two British Fantasy Authors, a play in one act.

JRR Tolkien: So my epic fantasy has elves and dwarves and gods and demons and vampires and werewolves.

CS Lewis: Cool cool cool.

JRR Tolkien: What about yours?

CS Lewis: Mine? It's got fauns and a witch and a talking lion and precocious children—

JRR Tolkien: I like the talking lion.

CS Lewis: —and Santa Claus.

JRR Tolkien: ...

JRR Tolkien: ...

JRR Tolkien: What?

CS Lewis: Santa Claus. You know, "ho ho ho."

JRR Tolkien: I know Santa Claus! I wrote the book on Santa Claus! But you can't have Santa Claus in your High Fantasy!"

CS Lewis: Why not? You have Tom Bombadil!

JRR Tolkien: HOW DARE YOU

Getting my life together :p

First of all, I need to address the fact that I am a minor. I like to be able to follow people back, and I still plan on doing that, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. If you have issues with this, you can always message me, and we'll sort things out.

I'm starting @playdohisscrumdiddlyyumscious (cute name, right?) as a new blog for other fandoms and crap that interest me. I'm not planning on being as active on there, but that way I can reserve this blog for just silm content (with some occasional lotr and hobbit stuff.)

That's pretty much it. For all I know, I'll edit this post way more later 😅. Thank you all for supporting me and this blog :)

My Pfp is 0.5 of baby Finrod that I drew 😝

My header is this drawing of Eluréd and Elurín as the Princes in the Tower that I made 😶