I Have A Deaf Dog And I Felt Like Cas Earlier With The Way I Stood Over Her, Silently Watching Her Sleep

I have a deaf dog and I felt like Cas earlier with the way I stood over her, silently watching her sleep and admiring how adorable she was, and she never woke up because she couldn't hear me.

endverse cas was fruity as hell like what is this!!

i think that maybe my main problem with supernatural’s ending is how both cas and dean got these massive monologues in what were supposedly moments where they had limited time and sam didn’t get to say a single word in his 30 second death scene. i feel like the ending could’ve been improved had these moments been shorter.

like imagine cas’s death scene in 15x18 had it been shorter. for example, dean and cas are locked in and dean says pretty much what he says already, and cas just looks at him and says something like, “when jack died, i made a deal with the empty. when i experience true happiness, the empty will be summoned, and it will come and take me.” cas meets dean’s eyes and softly says, “i love you, dean.” and kisses dean, before turning to face the empty and being taken.

for dean, it would be fairly similar to canon, just a lot shorter. in my ideal scenario, he would die a different way - i’m imagining dean being bitten by one of the vamps as he kills it, and begging sam to kill him before he can turn. dean would still die on his feet, and could end the same way, with the forehead touch, just this time with a knife in dean’s abdomen.

for sam, I would want to change his ending completely, although it would make an ok ending to me if we don’t see anymore of him (up until he reunites with dean in heaven) after he leaves the bunker for the last time, as to leave his ending open. it would be nice to have eileen there with him, maybe even holding his hand as he walks out, to give an idea of where his life goes after leaving the bunker, to get rid of the blurry wife and the debate surrounding the rest of his life.

this has been said countless times already i know. but it still absolutely astounds me just how powerful, how phenomenal, how profoundly, breathtakingly, earth-shatteringly monumental the story of Dean and Castiel is. and a decent portion of it somehow wasn't even intentionally written as a romance. there are people out there to this day who still deny that it was a love story in the end.

i mean, look at it objectively. it's about a literal Angel of the Lord rescuing a human from the depths of Hell, accidentally developing emotions because of him, sacrificing everything he ever knew for him, willingly dying over and over and over again for him, and being fundamentally changed and ultimately saved in return by his own burning passion and unwavering devotion for that one human. Castiel fell for Dean in every sense of the word. what could be more tragically, heartbreakingly romantic than that?

These lyrics right here. This whole song is Destiel coded.

Trees ll- McCafferty

After Cas confesses his love, but before he pushes Dean away, he pulls something out from his trench coat and slips it into Dean's pocket. Cas pushes him down and gets taken by the Empty, followed by Billie, leaving Dean alone on the bunker floor. As he cries, he feels something push into his chest, so he reaches his hand into his flannel pocket and pulls out the mixtape. The one he had given Cas as a gift and a secret sort of love confession of his own, thinking Cas wouldn't understand it. But as he stared down at the tape over top that read 'Dean's top 13 Zeppelin traxx', he knew that Cas understood. And he feels his heart break even more. Cas knew. Cas knew how he felt, yet he never said anything until it was too late. They were both too stupid to understand and just tell each other.

As Dean held the mixtape firmly in his hands, shoulders shaking with his sobs, he noticed that something felt off about it. The texture was different. He would know. He had flipped the cassette over and over and over in his hands before giving it to Cas, trying to decide on what to say to the angel.

Dean used his sleeve to wipe the blurriness from his eyes so he could see what was wrong with it. It still took a few seconds to adjust, and when he saw the large crack down the center of the tape, he gasped and brought it closer to his face. More tears spilled down his face. Cas' last move was to give this back to him, to show him that he understood their love and reassured Dean that, though he never said it, he knew how much he had meant to him. And Dean had broken it. The last thing Cas had ever given him besides the bloody handprint forever imprinted on his coat.

But as Dean's hands held on, finergrtips rubbing over the surface again and again, desperate to feel some kind of comfort in his hopeless situation, he noticed something attached to the back of it. He sniffled, wiped his eyes again, and flipped it over. On the backside, there was a piece of paper taped there with his name written on it. He quickly ripped it off, causing the cassette to re-split in half, obvious that the piece of tape being all that held it together, and opened the note.

Hello, Dean.

I just wanted to write you this before I give back your tape and apologize for breaking it. I'm really really sorry. I know I'm not super good at apologies, but writing makes it a lot easier, so I'm writing it for you. I hope you'll forgive me. I didn't mean to break it. I know you spent a lot of time picking the songs specifically for me because you knew I'd like them, though I had trouble understanding some of the parts. I'll never understand why humans love music so much. It's so much noise and there's so much going on, but I know it's important to you, so I will learn to like it. I'm very sorry for breaking it. I don't ever take it out of my trench coat, just in case I need to listen to it during an emergency, and I fell onto it. :( Please forgive me, Dean. I'm very sorry.

As Dean read, he watched tear drops stain the paper. He laughed a little as he continued to cry, noting how the letter was the most characteristic Cas letter he could think of. And he was happy. So happy that he didn't break it himself. It was already broken.

Cas knew how much the weight of handing over a mixtape was, especially a Zeppelin one for Dean, and he acknowledged it. Dean squeezed the letter to his chest as he leaned back against the wall and continued to cry silently.