Could You Elaborate That. I Am Honeslty Curious, Because It Is An Incredibly Complicated Topic To Tackle

Could you elaborate that. I am honeslty curious, because it is an incredibly complicated topic to tackle and while I completly agree with abuse apologism in the fans (and on the other hand the fans who think that civilians getting pulled into it isn’t a problem, because the antagonists are abuse victims) I am note sure how you mean that all seems like abuse apologism.

 So far (302 chapters, since 303 scans and translation aren’t out yet) the characters who are on Endevours side are quiet consistent. And I can’t really put the family members into it, because they all are also abuse vitims, so them having complicated feelings about this makes it very realistic.

And just so we are clear: I am not saying anything Endevour did to his family was acceptable in any way, just that the characters might apologize it for their reasons.

 Mostly Hawks is extremly apologetic, which seems to be because of his happyness-association from his childhood with Endevour, which makes sense for him.

Best Jeanist pretty much put it from a overview perspective in which he puts anything Toya does because of Endevour under the general safety of the people. Which isn’t okay, but in the moment understandable. Saying that your family problems should not be everybodys problem makes sense to him, because he fails to see that this is a societal problem. Which is really showing that Jeanist is deeply rootet with the hero society and fails to see the problems that exist within it, therefore being part of the problem.

And Deku is a teenager and worried about his friend before anything else. I don’t expect and of the kids to see the full picture here (same with Uraraka and Toga), they aren’t full grown and are still learning. So Deku seeing his friend in danger and by Endevour getting attacked Shotos metal health in danger he reacts to that more than to a villain who tried to kill them before.

Also: all 3 of them don’t know what actually happend. For all they know might be Toya Todoroki who’s supposed to be dead shows himself to be Dabi and attacks people, confessing being a mass murderer. Hawks and Jeanist just see a villain attacking their collegue without knowing the abuse behind it.

In general speaking only the members of the Todoroki family know about what happend, the last 2 chapters (301,302) are from their perspectives and just as with Shoto’s flashbacks we as the reader know what they suffered through, but the rest of the world does not.

When people see Dabi, they only see the information he decides to give them. And since Dabi’s imagine to Japan is as a villain a lot of people would most likely not take it completly serious, considering there is a lot of evidence on Endevour’s heroic acts for the people but no physical evidence (aka news reports, video evidence etc.) on Toya’s experience. Especially since he is mostly known for the Nomu attack.

 And then we have the Todoroki family and since all of them have suffered under Endevour (who even though he at least sees that he fucked up, is trying to apologize his own abuse) so their answers to that are never gonna be the same as a healthy persons that didn’t suffer from abuse.

 Fuyumi so far hasn’t said anything about the topic of Toya yet, but she seem to be the one that moved on into her own life the most and dealt with it better than the rest. Which might have to do with her position in the family, being the second child, only born so that Touya wouldn’t grow up and only child, with no expectations about her powers, she also did not inherit her father’s features, which lead to the issues of Rei’s association of her sons with her husband.

She suffered the least under Endevour, which still isn’t nothing, but it shows why she is the one willing to forgive him for the sake of the family’s mental health, including her own.

And she is an elementary teacher, the whole: he’s trying to better himself, so we should forgive him and support him trying to get better is definitely something an elementary teacher would say. Of course her father isn’t some kid who stole a toy, but she is probably exposed to dozens of kids who idolize Endevour and see him as the hero his public image so far was and puts that progress first for her own sake, because changing the past is impossible and as I mentioned earlier: she suffered the least, she knew the least about Toya’s thoughts.

And she was a kid who’s older brother didn’t stop training. Of course her parents, namely her father should have done something about that, but from the subconscious mind of a little sister this views differently than from an outside perspective. As a child seeing your big brother training so much it hurts him is hard to see the parent’s fault, because for her she told him to stop, but he didn’t want to. Toya does mention it being his father’s fault, but he didn’t go to her at night, he went to Natsuo, so she most likely never got the whole picture of his inner feelings.

 Then we got Natsuo, who does not forgive his father because of Toya, and the current reveal definitely made that worse. He is very of reason with his father not deserving forgiveness, because he can’t turn back time and Natsuo knew the most about Toya’s inner thoughts. Not only did he come to him all the time, unlike Shoto he saw Touya train pre-burns

And the worst thing for me is his reaction in chapter 302 when he says that he might have done something. It is horribly sad that this teenager thinks it would have in any way been his responsibility to do something when he was just 8 years old. A normal reaction, but of course in a healthy manner someone should tell him that it isn’t  and never was his to stop Toya, which doesn’t happen and I hate that too, but it makes sense because those aren’t healthy people, they are abuse victims way too deep into this, than to look at it from an outside perspective.

 Shoto is the one that is for his young age probably taking this really well all things considered. Of course it shouldn’t be his responsibility to take care of Toya as he things when he wakes up. On the other side of course Toya should not try to kill his little brother for their father’s fault. But both of them got the worst side of Endevours abuse and none of them can thing of this from an objective perspective.

Shoto is only so stable because he found people (namely Deku) to help him become who he is. Touya most likely never had that.  He “died” when he was 13 and then we don’t know what happened, but obviously he wasn’t taken in by some nice person who got him a therapist to work through his trauma.

 And then there is Rei. Who is the one where I can see your post coming from, because I hated her speech at the end of 302. Does it make sense for her to say what she said? Yes. But does it take them responsibility from Endevour and shifts it on all of their family –YES! And that is so not okay.

Rei did of course suffer and within the hero based society she couldn’t just leave and take the kids obviously (unlike Tenko/Tomura’s mother and grandparents could have shielded him and Hana from their father) and as Toya points out she is part of the problem and he is absolutely right. She chose to be in this marriage as an adult (there is a big chunk of societal blame her with the whole monetary issue, but she still had way more control over anything than her children did). And Endevour is a lot of things but not a rapist and he asked her to have more children with him and she agreed to that.

He did mental and physically abuse her in front of their children to the point where she couldn’t look her son’s in the eyes anymore.

And after all the blame for Toya’s issues is blamed on her, instead of Endevour blaming himself, because he is absolulty responsible for them, she shifts the responsibility of what happens with their family to all of them. Which isn’t good, but understandable, because she isn’t mentally healthy either. This is the women who broke down and poured hot water onto her son’s face, she isn’t objective in this and she can’t be, because she is part of it.

And she does (chapter 301) say herself that she is at fault for Toya’s turn to Dabi too and unlike her husband she did try to do something about the situation and Toya’s mental and physical health. Endevour just dropped all the responsibility on her.

 As I said, I hate her saying that they all should stop Dabi together, but I still think it doesn’t show that Endevours abuse is apologized in general. His family is working through it in their own way as well as they can and the rest doesn’t have insight of what actually happened.

 And Endevour’s image and career are in shambles right now, which is what Toya wanted, the hero society is crumbly, which is what he (and Stain) wanted, because the society doesn’t work, it’s a bad concept and that shows well right now (namely chapter 300).

 The one person who definitely is trying to apologize his abuse is Endevour himself. It’s all “I didn’t know what to say” here and “he inherited that from me” there and when Rei’s parenting fails, because she’s not Toya’s focus point instead of even trying to talk to his son he lets it out on her. He didn’t even go to the hill and his excuse is literally he didn’t know how to talk to him and that it would have just things worse. But he didn’t even try. And he also learned nothing from it, since he still kept training Shoto.

  From a writing perspective this doesn’t show abuse apologism, this shows that those are well written characters that are complicated and also part of the whole thing, so they can’t be objective about it.

 So I would like to know how you read the arc itself as a theme of abuse apologism, instead of having a “number 1 hero” apologizing his abuse trying to excuse himself from the blame he deserves, even though he does acknowledge that he is responsible but can’t get it into his head that this can’t be fixed with some heroic act, because he abused his whole family for years to the point where they all have suffered so much they can’t even see that he is at core the fault for all of this.

i am so ready to just drop the mha manga. i hate how much i care about the todoroki’s (save enji) because if i didn’t care so much about them i would be long fucking gone from this hell hole. the abuse apologism never fucking stops. it would be one thing if it was just the fans because that’s always gonna happen ive seen it happen with every piece of media ever involving abuse but the fact that the abuse apologism is in the actual story itself? while also trying to convince you it’s NOT abuse apologism? it’s fucking exhausting. i hate it here.

Chess metaphores in BNHA

Tomura doesn’t see his companions as chess pieces, he values them and wants them to succeed, AFO on the contrairy sees everyone, even Tomura as nothing more than a chess piece.

It doesn’t matter if Tomura is the king, the king is still a chess piece and well, if you lose your king you lose the game.

No problem it was a pretty long post anyways =) The abuse apologism in the fanbase is honestly gigantic, it is frightening.

And thank you for answering and clearing it up, because as you said, it did read it as a writing issue.

And this fandom is known for sending death threats which is under no circumstances okay, so I tend to be very cautious about talking to people about the story, but you sounded reasonable and I was curious about a different viewpoint on the topic.

Because I luckly have no history of family abuse, so it is something I am not exprienced with and it’s interesting to get some insight about a topic from someone with knowledge about it. Not that I would anybody to have experienced any kind of abuse but the world is often pretty shitty and it’s important to see the side of those who are actually affected by it.

I think on some degree a lot of fans did get through the beginning where bnha seemed rather basic in the regards of who is good and who is bad, more a black and white story before it developed into the complex work that exists now.

And this is after all not some kids show where at the end of the episode we get a person saying: and the moral of the story is...

So it’s a lot of thinking between the lines and greyness within characters, which I absoluty love from a writing perspective, but it does give the way to have characters that hit a little to close to home. That are so close to real people we know that it hurts.

For me that would be someone like Catelyn Stark in asoiaf, because her treatment of Jon Snow constantly reminds me of my own family issues. That doesn’t make her a bad character, but it makes me uncomfortable everytime I read her chapters and Jon comes up.

And (correct me if I am wrong) I suppose with you (or other abuse victims) it goes a similar way, that the topic hit’s a little to close to home and you are reminded on what the real world is like and your own issues.

That of course shows good writing, but it does dull the experience in a very personal way.

And since I read through the leak summary (303), I can definitly say that some characters I’d like to punch in the face or at least send to a therapist, but it still atones to good and consistent character writing.

As the story as a whole, we don’t have an ending yet but since the topic of a dysfunctional societal system is increadibly big, especially in the current ark, I think he does definitly not apologize abuse and shows that those characters who do support Endevour no matter what are part of the problem of said society, as they are so deeply rooted in it, they don’t even see the problem.

So I am rather postiv that this won’t turn into:” it’s ok as long as you decide to get better” and more of the realsitic somber tone of: “you should always try to better yourself, but this will never erase the past”.

Thanks for the answer and the insight of the topic, have a great night (at least it’s night here in Germany).

i am so ready to just drop the mha manga. i hate how much i care about the todoroki’s (save enji) because if i didn’t care so much about them i would be long fucking gone from this hell hole. the abuse apologism never fucking stops. it would be one thing if it was just the fans because that’s always gonna happen ive seen it happen with every piece of media ever involving abuse but the fact that the abuse apologism is in the actual story itself? while also trying to convince you it’s NOT abuse apologism? it’s fucking exhausting. i hate it here.

Hawks: I took Tokoyami as an intern because we are both birds. Hawks: Best decision of my life.

Rant part 2 So other coworker 2 (who is also the one that mostly works with coworker 1) came to me to borrow something. No the problem. We have 4 maschines that are the same. Currently only 2 are in use so when he went and tried to take the one my direct coworker is usually using (and is marked with her name!) I asked him to please use one of the other 2 that aren’t in use at all. He looked at me and in that moment a different coworker came with something urgent and I had to turn around to answer. I turn back to corwoker 2 and see that he unplucked the maschine I just asked him not to use (the other one that he could use was right next to it) and he looks me in the eyes and asks why. I explain to him that it’s the one my coworker uses when she’s here and that he could take one of the other two as long as he wants because we literally do not need them at the moment. And that guy looks me dead in the eye, takes the maschine I asked him twice not to take and explained to him why and just leaves.

I have no idea why he even asked if he wasn’t interested in what I was saying or why it was too hard for him to step slightly to the right to get the other maschine.

sexist hyprcrite coworker rant

Today was the day I got to know the sexist side of a coworker I thought was really nice. It wasn’t for the first time, but today it really stung. He is generally a super nice guy, friendly, helpful and cheerful, but whenever he works with us women and he asks about something and we answer, he just straight out doesn’t believe us, even if we’ve been doing this for years and actually know what we are doing. Instead he goes over and asks our male cowoker the same question again, to get the same answer again. And we thought he was an idiot for doing it, but it wasn’t actually hurting me before, I just thought he was a moron for doing so.

But today he was supposed to work with me, not the first time that week (he normally works somewhere else, but there are a lot of people on vacation right now) and I didn’t say anything about his behaviour. I don’t do that in general. We work in labor jobs and it gets exhausting, so if you need a break, I won’t tell you that you can’t have one, I’m not our boss, sometimes I have a day where I need a little extra break and since I don’t say anything to him (or anyone else for that matter), then I expect the same from him about me. But today he was gone after I came back from the bathroom and he left his workplace with everything there, so I figured he probably went to the bathroom too, or made a short break. 15 minutes later he shows up, finishes 1 item (takes less then 2 minutes) and leaves to talk to my other coworker. I didn’t say anything to him, even though I was angry for leaving me alone with all the work, 10 minutes later he shows up again, does half of one item, leaves again, I am fuming inside, but I don’t say anything. Then he comes back. I ask him where he was, say that I have been working alone for the past 30 minutes and he gets angry. I was not unfriendly, I just asked.

He tells me that he is now working with my other coworker where he normally is, but that I have nothing to say about that. I say that’s fine, he could’ve just told me that. Then he gets really angry. He says I have no right to talk about the way he works. That he is only minding his own business and I should do the same. He starts about how I work so much less then him (I have a 20h week, he a 40h week), that he didn’t say anything about my work and that he counted how often I went to the bathroom, that I refused to work (not true, I did some other work, while waiting to get something fixed, while he left the room and came back later) and that he does so much more work in the same time as me (he said that he did 7 items in the time I did 2. So he basically told me, that I should just look at my own work, while the hypocrite apparently watched me the whole time. I did not say until that point anything about his work, or how much he worked, I only asked that if he left he’s tell me so that I know I am working alone again. Apart from that. He was just being there for a couple days, i have been doing this for the past 3 years. i know my limit. And yes my limit is less than that of a man twice my weight. Of course he gets more than in the same time (defenitly not as much as he claims, but more), besides the fact, that I know how bad your body works if you go too fast and use too much engery. He made so many long breaks yesterday, sitting down or going to talk to cowokers and today aswell, while I only went to the bathroom and actually worked through my shift. And I can actually say that he went to the bathroom only twice, but each time he went there for about 15 minutes, while I take 2 (just to pee, I drink a lot), and I didn’t say anything to him (10 minutes is a lot less than 30). And we have a coworker (currently on vacation, a woman) who actually works 40h/week aswell and she doesn’t constantly take breaks like that either. He said that he works so much and that I should see how much he did this morning and that I should mind my own business (again). I told him that I never said he didn’t work, I know he can work, I told him I didn’t care if he took a break, that I had no problem with that. I only asked that he’d tell me when we’re not working together anymore and that he should clean up the workspace, because he’s not the only one working there. (I didn’t even say that I did the clean up the day before, because he didn’t do any of it.) I also told him, that I just wanted to know because we had people before asking why the work wasn’t done, with all the help we had. He just said that wasn’t true. Not that he can’t believe it, just that I was lying to his face for no reason. When I said it again later, he askes who and pointed to my coworker working with me and I told him no, not them, the office people do that, those who are closer to our boss and that’s why it can be an issue. But he still dissmissed it, like it was no big deal. It isn’t for him, because it’s not coming back to him. It’s gonna be me and my coworkers who are going to get in trouble if work isn’t done on time And then he just ended the whole conversation, with saying it’s over (the conversation) and that it’s alright. Not apologizing or anything for what he said about me. He did clean up at least, but until today I just though he was being an idiot when he asked my male coworkers or wanted a little break from working, but I was wrong. He is a sexist hyprocrite something I wish I didn’t know about him. And the worst part is, 2 of my other coworker have told me they had similar issues with him. When the first one (40week lady I mentioned above) told me she had a problem with him, I couldn’t believe it because he was always so nice and she can get angry quiet fast. But now I know why. And my other female coworker who helps out sometimes also had the same issues with him. I am someone who always thinks at first: maybe it’s not like that, maybe it’s my fault. But maybe this time it really isn’t. Maybe 3 women who all have the same issues with the guy are right and he is the actual problem. But if I’d tell him that he’d just get angry again and start saying hurtful things about me, that not only hurt me but that are a legit threat to my job. I only ever saw 1 coworker as a problem (he had a really rough time, went through divorce and was a gigantic asshole the whole time and oogled us woman throughout the whole thing, it was really uncomftable, but since he’s got his shit back together we get along pretty well and he really changed his behaviour) but now I have that guy. And I know I won’t say anything to him. Because it won’t go anywhere good. It’s either gonna end up with me feeling even more shitty than I am right now, because I like harmony and not conflict, or it’s going to end with him telling shit about me and me feeling shitty about it, because I hate that hypocritic bullshit and when people just straight up tell me in their face that I am lying, even if I am not. I am going to get over it. The relastionship I had with him is definitly not the same it was before and it will never be, knowing that about him. I just want time to blow over the whole thing until I have forgotten it enough to be able to see him at work without thinking about that. But I know its going to take time. I know it’s going to cost me time I am wasting with thoughts on him, even if he isn’t an important person in my life and it’s going to cost me energy. And he most like with my other coworkers he has issues with, will be the same come Monday and not give it another thought,

while I am here and my annoying brain is making me go through the whole scenario over and over again to find the mistake I made talking to him, to get told what I was,

knowing fully well that it wasn’t me. I have analyzed this enough to know I didn’t say anything about his work ethnic until he pointed out mine, I was friendly, I was nice, I only asked something that woul’ve taken him a second to do (telling me that he was working elsewhere, I would’ve cleaned up for him if he’d asked too). I want my brain to stop thinking about this, but I can’t and he most likely won’t give it another thought..

Man, I would not want be a civilian in BNHA right now, since the top 3 heroes are more concerned about dealing with Dabi, who made a video making them look bad, than they are about AFO who liberated 7 prisons with only some help from a couple nomu.