To Breathe Again - Masterlist

To Breathe Again - Masterlist

Premise: It was never supposed to be him. You'd never let it be him, you'd be damned if you lost him. So you'll do anything to get him back...anything.

Warnings: Swearing, death discussed, suicide mentioned, some really dark past stuff, depression, ptsd, angst, hurt with comfort but it's a long road.

Pairing: Unistudent!Namjoon x Unistudent!Reader, implied!Unistudent!Jimin x Reader(but not)

Authors notes: Body switching au!

masterlist

001

002

003

004

005

006

007

masterlist

These videos were so chaotic, I can't help but love them.

Somehow you manage to break me and heal me and then break me again…. And I’m going to say it… I think I like it 🫢

And how dare you make me ugly cry over Yoongi 😡 and then give me hope for Jimin 😫

Harbouring a Hyrbid - Part 4.5 Bonus chapter

It’s another flashback bonus chapter! Chapter five is almost done and should be ready for Friday, but until then I hope you enjoy this little something extra…. 2.7K words, warnings; mentions of death, angst, insecurities

“Yoongi…”

Jimin shoots upright like he’s been burnt, pulling the covers with him and uncovering your sleeping form. There’s virtually little light in the room but his stare is dead on your form as if you just poured ice cold water all over him. Who the hell was Yoongi?

You said that name too softly, almost like a sigh. Was he someone from work? Someone who had wormed his way into your heart? 

“My mate,” Jimin almost growls into the silent room, his sleepy affirmations heard by no one. 

You start to frown, slightly restless as if reacting to his words and rejecting them, or at that’s how Jimin perceived it. The sight breaks his heart, your unconscious speaking for you. He pouted hard into the darkness, fighting back unshed tears as his hands fist the bed sheets. You were his mate, you were supposed to be his. He knew it, he knew you loved him the way he loved you, but you were fighting it, and he was giving your stupid human brain time to figure it out. 

Did he give you too much time? What if you misread his patience? How could you not realise that Jimin was so in love with you? Or worse, what if you knew, but you didn’t reciprocate? You just passed his affection off as hybrid instinct and infatuation, as if he wasn’t human enough to love you like you wanted. 

His thoughts spiral in his half awake - half delirious mind, digging him into a hole. He yowls quietly, unable to help it, tears finally falling as he watches you dream of another man. 

“Yo-ngi,” you call out again, breathing his name into the silent air. “Do-t leave…”

Your frown harder, pressing your face into the pillow, your hands close to your chest as you start to feel the cold. And then you mumbled the words Jimin had been waiting to hear from you, but they’re not for him.

—

You slept through the night without waking up once, and yet you felt like you hadn’t slept at all. Your eyes are heavy, the sunlight in the room too bright for you to handle for a moment. Flashes of your nightmares try to penetrate through to your now conscious brain but you push them away before they spoiled the day, turning over to bury the sadness away by greeting your Hybrid, but the side he normally occupies is empty. 

You sit up, slightly confused by his absence… Jimin had his own room but he always found a way to sneak into yours. In fact you could confidently say he probably slept in that room all of a week before he decided your bed was warmer and cosier. 

A glance to the clock on the wall has your jaw dropping. It was already way past midday! Well that explained your groggy headache, you slept for far too long. But your normal alarm clock was nowhere to be seen. The feline always slept into the day, but on your rare days off he was up by the time the sun was, all to spend as much time with you as physically possible. It didn’t take a genius to figure out something was wrong. 

“Jimin?” 

There’s no response but you can hear the faint sound of the tv from the living space, climbing out of the bed to investigate. 

You watch him from the bedroom door, sitting on the couch staring at the screen of the tv but you knew he wasn’t taking any of it in. You knew all his senses, except his gaze, were focused on you, what your next move was going to be. No greeting, no acknowledgement, Did you do something? You sighed. 

Maybe you took rejecting his affectionate nature too far, the argument you both had last night coming back to you. You knew Jimin was sensitive and in need of attention but you always tried to keep an arms distance with certain things. You gave in where you could but some things were just too intimate, they were different in a human’s touch language. Hybrids were instinctually… open about physical skinship, but the meaning behind them did not translate the same way it would to a human. 

Jimin didn’t look at you like that, he didn’t want affection from you romantically, he was just touch starved and you were not going to take advantage of it or confuse him. You’re surprised he’s never questioned how erratic your heartbeat got when he got too close, but you guessed the same reason you never really questioned his actions either. He must think of it as normal human nature, he never interacted with anyone in this form other than you. 

The tense set of his jaw worries you that something more serious was going on, JImin’s silent treatments never lasted long, and they very very rarely ever happened on your day off. But before you could tackle whatever the issue was, you desperately needed to wash the sleep off your face, and then you would confront your grumpy hybrid. 

—

Nothing, he’s not uttered a word to you. It was like you didn’t even exist. Your heart was breaking so hard you’re sure he can hear it with the way his grey ears were twitching. 

“Jimin what did I do?” your previously demanding tone, now reduced to a sad whine. “Kitten are you seriously going to ignore me all day? Even though it’s the only day we have together for a whole week?”

Maybe you were playing dirty with his favourite nickname and the guilt trip, but you were desperate at this point! You don’t even think he’s had anything to eat. He now looks away from you completely, his eyes that were in the empty space in front of him, still feigning watching the tv, now turned towards the kitchen door, the opposite direction from where you sat. 

He’s biting his tongue, refusing to give in. It wasn’t fair, how could you behave like this with him when he knew you had someone else. Was he really not a man in front of you, did you regard him as some sort of pet? His Y/n, his human, were you really like the rest of them? Was he truly an abomination, an animal, to you?

“Jiminie please?” You wrap your arms around his, hugging it close while leaning into him, playing every card you had available. You hold back the sigh of relief that he doesn’t pull away, but he still doesn’t look at you. It wouldn’t worry you so much if there was actually a semblance of emotion on his face, but it's so blank it scares you. 

“Baby if you don’t tell me what I did, how can I apologise for it?” You ask, trying to hum cutely afterwards like they did on those Kdramas you were both obsessed with, the ones you should be watching now with snacks and cuddles like you had planned! Still no response, you could cry at this point, hell even your eyes watered letting you know that could be a reality soon. 

“Fine you don’t have to tell me, I’ll apologise anyway!” You try to catch his eyes, trying to be seen in his field of vision even just a little. “Jiminie I’m sorry, please forgive me, please?”

He sighs. The first actual sound you’ve heard from him all day. You don’t know whether to hold your breath or jump for joy. He finally looks at you, his expression still unreadable but it’s something, he’s giving you something. 

“I’m really really really sorry kitten,” you look up at him, trying to make your eyes as big as possible, pouting pathetically so he would give in. “Can I make it up to you with cuddles and a movie?”

He sighs again, but this time it sounds like he’s in pain, his head dropping low towards his lap. The action makes you pull away, scared you were making things worse, heart now shattered. What did you do? You fight the way your bottom lip trembles, telling yourself to hold it together until you got to the bottom of it all. 

“You don’t have to force yourself to spend time with me,” he grumbles through gritted teeth, as if it hurt to speak. His hands are clasped tightly together in front of him, his eyes on them.

“What?” You frown, shocked he would ever insinuate something so ridiculous. “Jimin-”

“If you want to spend it with him, you should,” he cuts you off, holding back his own tears, but he could feel the red rim around his eyes that would give his emotions away. 

“Wha-” you shake your head in disbelief, trying to make sense of his words. “Who?”

He doesn’t respond right away, but the despondent look in his eyes makes you place your hand on his, trying again. “Jiminie, who?”

“Yoongi.” 

He finally confronts you, turning to face you, watching your eyes go wide with shock and guilt. He tries not to look hurt, tries not to let his heart break with the thought of you loving someone else when you were here with him.

You look down, squeezing your eyes shut as if that would stop the flood of images flashing behind them. One name had you break down faster than anything else, it stripped you of all your defences, you can’t help but sob with the sudden pain pounding through your chest. It was Jimin’s turn to hold your hand as you whimpered, trying to get a hold of yourself but the more you tried the worse it got. He watches confused and shocked at the way you suddenly burst into tears, hating himself for ever making you cry like this. He should have kept his thoughts inside, he should have pretended nothing was wrong. 

He can’t take it, regret hits him hard as he takes you into his arms begging for your forgiveness, whispering words of apology into your hair as you bawled heart wrenchingly against him. 

—-

He’s scared to speak, scared it will set you off again. He had never seen you break down like that before, he never wanted to see it again. Did this Yoongi person hurt you? Is that why you reacted like that to a name? A hundred different questions and thoughts echoed through his mind in the long minutes of your crying, but he couldn’t voice them, not until you spoke first. 

You push away from him, still sniffing every now and then. He hesitates to let you go, eyes on your form begging you silently to look at him, to tell him he hadn’t crossed a line of no forgiveness. 

“Where did you hear that name?” you whispered hoarsely, your head tilting towards him but still refusing to meet his eyes. You both sat side by side now, his whole body turned towards you, all his attention on every single move you made. He tells himself to be thankful you were still close, still within reach. You hadn’t moved away too far, that must mean you didn’t hate him, right?

“You called for him in your sleep,” he says timidly, terrified you were going to start yelling at him, but you just nod. 

You look far away, trying to hide the way you were getting set off again, trying to take a deep breath to collect yourself. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything Y/n,” he says, wishing he never heard that name in the first place, his mind jumping to the worst worst conclusions. If someone hurt his mate… “I’m so sorry.”

You must hear the heart break in his voice, your hand reaches for his even though you can’t look at him yet. You look up at the ceiling instead, blinking back the tears. He holds your hand like it was a lifeline, bringing it to his lips to place a chaste kiss on the skin. There were a hundred ways he could say sorry, a hundred ways he wanted to comfort you and make it all go away. 

“Of all the hybrids I failed to save, one haunts me the most,” you confess, every word feeling like lead as it left your lips. You still don’t look at him, instead you look despondent, like you were somewhere else entirely, the haunting place you kept your thoughts buried. “In my heart I know with every single one of them I tried my hardest to help them, and I mourn their loss every day, but Y-yoongi- “

You hold back a choked sob, fighting it as it came out. Jimin shuffles closer, his head on your shoulder, letting you know he was there, it was okay if you continued or not. 

“It was my fault,” you tell him, voice thick and heavy. “I’m the reason he died, he didn’t need saving, he was surviving on his own but I’m the one that got him caught.”

“Y/-“

“I was selfish, I wasn’t careful enough,” you explained, “he was the only one that understood me, the only one I could confide in, he was my best friend. And a part of me knew it wasn’t safe, but we were teenagers and I was so stupid…

He was my first love, I didn’t want to let him go.”

Jimin’s silent as you spoke of the weight you could barely manage to carry. It didn’t feel lighter now you confessed it, the same grief you had as an adolescent hit you just as hard.

“I never even got to tell him…”

He cradles your face, wanting you to look at him when he spoke, but your eyes avoid him.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he tries to reassure you, wanting you to feel his words. “You were young, you didn’t do anything wrong Y/n.”

You shake your head, not believing him for a second. He didn’t know the whole story, he didn’t know who your parents were.

“You always say it to me Y/n,” he kisses your forehead, wanting so badly to bring you some sense of comfort, hating that his human looked so hurt. “The world is wrong, not us, not the hybrid or the human harbouring one.”

You were always so strong for him, and he made it all crash and burn in a second. You hid so much pain from him, but always asked him to share his. Now he wanted to be someone you could lean on too, the way he did you. 

You look up at Jimin with watering eyes, his palms still caressing your face, he tries to smile for you but his eyes water too. Your tears fall, another agonising guilt tearing through you as you take him in. You could never tell him you feared you were falling in love with him. Most would take the lesson of your loss as proof to let the ones you love know, you don’t know what tragedy would strike tomorrow. But that’s not how your brain interpreted it, Yoongi was taken from you because of your selfishness, you would never let yourself be that way again. It cost him his life, and you would never ever let the same happen to Jimin.

Jimin trusted you, and you were already betraying him by omitting the truth about your parents, but having these feelings you could never show or admit to, not even to yourself. Yoongi’s accusing eyes haunted your dreams every now and then, more so now, the closer you got to the feline hybrid your heart was trying to replace him with. But how do you explain to a ghost that that wasn’t the truth, you still loved him the way you did back then, still carried him with you through the years. Jimin brought you a sense of safety, a sense of home, you thought you were finally healing, finally earning forgiveness for your failures, but maybe you were wrong. You were still as selfish now as you were then, you were just pretending otherwise.

You pull his hands away from your cheeks recognising the flash of panic in his eyes before you wrap your arms around his middle. You sniffle, face pressed against chest, closing your eyes as you listen to the steady drum of his heart beat. He holds you back, tail wrapping around whatever part of you it could, taking the moment to let your confession really sink in.

You loved and lost a hybrid before him… His heart tore in two for you, but in the back of his mind, he felt himself hope a little, that maybe one day you would heal. Maybe one day, if he was lucky, you would love him like that too. 

------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @nlost21 @pb-n-juju @needyomnivore @lvpersona @marvelfamily3000 @love2lovesworld @halesandy @dreamamubarak @deepseavibez @mikymouse0729 @barnesrogerslover @itismochirice @mwitsmejk @minswife4life @unicornbabylover @imjustreadingig @sweeneyblue1 @​​effielumiere @jimijimificrec @canarystwin @youngbloodslut @thelazylemur @dif-imagines

@jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue it is. We cute 🥹

happy cuties ♡ (for anon) (cr. namuspromised)

STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST

OT8

Answers

Premise: Being alone and ignored was one thing, you were used to that by now. But having each member of an idol group barrelling into your safe little sanctuary was not something you could have imagined. Now being torn away from your tiny cozy room all you wanted to do was get back to it. Even it meant losing home.

Warnings: Swearing, death, mentions of kidnapping, torture, stalking, obsessions, reincarnation, ANGST ANGST ANSGT.

Word count: 9.2K

Supernatural au // drabble

Poisoned Discoveries

Premise: Moving to a small town and opening your own vet practice, finally you had achieved your own freedom. No longer dragged down by your 'family', free to choose who to trust.

Warnings: Mentions blood, violence, stabbing, poisoning.

Word count: 1.3K

Supernatural au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

“The Restricted Collection”

Premise: You’ll have to enroll to find out.

Warnings: *will update*

Hogwarts au’s // Mini-Series

Bang Chan

These Nights Can't Last Forever

Premise: A predestined moment in time. If you didn’t believe in things like fate and destiny, now was the moment that they seemed real. This forever in a moment.

Warnings: *COMING SOON*

idol skz // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

Lee Minho

Camera Roll

Premise: Your best friend comes up with the dumbest plan you've ever heard of. The plan consisting of having all your friends believing you are dating, all because they accidentally found out you live together. How is this supposed to prove anything? The man of your dreams will just have to stay that, in your dreams.

Warnings: swearing, heavy thirsting, fluff, and stupidity.

College au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

Possibilities

Pairings: Nonidol!Changbin & Nonidol!Minho x Reader

Premise: Omega Primes were rare, being forced to reproduce with other Primes. You never liked the idea of mates, forced or not. A runaway Prime, with two alphas to catch their fall and open up a whole new realm of possibilities.

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, aggressive alpha tendencies, swearing, near-death experiences, mentions of heat and suppressants

abo au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

Seo Changbin

We Are Liars

Premise: He needed an out of his mothers attempts to set him up. Your summer schedule was empty. Maybe him asking you to be his fake girlfriend wasn't the worst idea. It did make a lot of sense. But then again it was too easy to say yes...

Warnings: Fluffffffff

Fake dating au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

Possibilities

Pairings: Non-idol!Changbin & Non-idol!Minho x Reader

Premise: Omega Primes were rare, being forced to reproduce with other Primes. You never liked the idea of mates, forced or not. A runaway Prime, with two alphas to catch their fall and open up a whole new realm of possibilities.

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, aggressive alpha tendencies, swearing, near-death experiences, mentions of heat and suppressants

abo au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

Hwang Hyunjin

Fallen Star

Premise: A mistake always turning to the stars for an escape. But it turns out the star you had always wished for had fallen right in front of you.

Warnings: Much angst, toxic family, controlling home life.

Princess/alien au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

Han Jisung

Floored

Premise: When the overly flustered Jisung has a crush on you. Do you ignore it or fall with him?

Warnings: FLUFF, TEASING but like in a cute way?, clueless Han Jisung (my favourite type along with;), flustered Han Jisung.

College au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

Lee Felix

Fleeting Tempest

Premise: WIP *request*

Warnings: Angst, fluff.

Siren au // drabble

💜♾💜♾💜

**PLEASE NOTE: I will NOT be writing for Seungmin or Jeongin. As I am older than all of the members in SKZ and I feel an older sibling love for them, it feels inappropriate. Not to mention I struggle to write for them in general. As well, I will NOT be writing smut for any member of SKZ.

Fallen Star

Pairing: Hyunjin!Driver/bodyguard/alien x princess reader

Warning: Much angst, toxic family, controlling home life.

Premise: A mistake always turning to the stars for an escape. But it turns out the star you had always wished for had fallen right in front of you.

word count: 5.1K

Authors notes: *WARNING* LOVE LETTER INCOMING: I need to give credit to the truly amazing @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue for being my never ending inspiration for this fic. Honestly, the ideas behind the story and the feel/details of the banner all of it I sneakily asked her questions and then used her answers against her. But in all realness, thank you so much for giving me support in my writing journey. Legit one of my most favourite people in the whole world, so if you have never read anything from her before I highly recommend it. You are missing out on some absolute genius, especially in the angst department!!

masterlist

If he thinks he can just marry you off for his benefit he seriously had another thing coming. An arranged marriage to an old man? Did he assume you’d go quietly? Or does he really just not care? 

You laugh at yourself. Of course he doesnt. This was a new low, even for him. He couldn’t control you like your siblings so instead of having to deal with you he sells you off the highest bidder. You’d show him how much trouble you could be. 

Staring out of the back passenger car window, you watch your breath fog a small part of the cold glass before it recedes. It blocks your view from what you really want to see, so you roll down the window. There’s no clouds in the dark sky tonight, no wind either. But the chilled breeze from the car speeding down the backroads rushes into the car. Making you wish you were driving away from it all and not back to it. You asked the driver to take a long way back, so you could gaze out into a world you only wished to be apart of. 

“I’d give anything to escape from here…” You sigh, your mind wandering to the stars above. To what else could be out there. “...to be with the stars.”

“Anything?” A soothing melodic voice travels from the drivers seat. Unbeknownst to you the partition had been lowered. 

You let out a startled noise, you knew that voice, and the angelic person who had that voice. That person was not supposed to be driving you tonight. His presence alone would be enough to make you antsy, but in this moment couldn’t have been worse. 

“I’m sorry Miss, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He politely directs his worry to you through the rearview mirror. 

You make eye contact with him through the reflection as you roll up the window, “No it’s ok. I was lost in thought.” 

You can’t maintain staring into his alluring eyes, breaking away you let yourself once again stare at the night landscape. 

“I did notice something on your mind when you got in. I know it may not be my place to ask but, is everything ok?” 

“Hyunjin, I’ve told you before you can speak freely with me. We are the same age.” You let out an airy chuckle, shaking your head. Your eyes never leaving it’s chosen star. 

“I know miss, sometimes I forget.” He laughs cheerfully back at you. “Bad news at dinner?”

“Apparently my hand in marriage has been accepted.” You huff. There’s no point in hiding your annoyance. As much as Hyunjin made the butterflies in your stomach act as thought they had been given some form of accelerant, he was the only one around you that you could talk to like this. 

“Marriage?” If you didn’t know any better you’d say there was a bite to his words. “With who?”

“Lord Tun. He’s over twice my age.” You complain bitterly, the dress chosen for you for dinner becoming itchy, a burning sensation lingering. That’s why your parents had bought it for you. To appeal to the mans desires, your hopes of them wanting to buy you something out of the warmth of their heart dashed. You wanted to burn this vile, uncomfortable fabric…not to mention it’s ugly colour against your skin did you no favours. “He originally asked for my older sisters hand in good faith of the new trading merger. But my father said ‘Elise deserves better then he could provide’, so he offered me as substitute. He says it’s my duty.”

 You sink back into your seat, quickly looking over to see his reaction. He doesn’t say anything. His eyes stay trained to the road. Maybe he’s just ask shocked as you are? He knows just as anyone working for your family how you are perceived in this world. The accident that could only ever be useless. 

Growing up you had tried to follow the rules. You had been called an accident since you were young, and you understood exactly what that implied for you. But still you worked hard to achieve as much as your siblings. At first you had even surpassed them in most areas; quickly you realized just how much that didn’t matter to your parents. It never mattered if your grades were bad, you understood the family politics, you became fluent in every language that your family had ties with, the instruments you played…the list went on. Your place in the family never changed. Your parents still looked at you with a heavy detest in their eyes it eventually shut down your want to appease them. 

So you stopped the extra lessons and changed your path. You took up watercolour painting and cooking. Even turning your studies to the stars and universe above you. Your parents never knew because they took no notice. 

Infatuation didn’t even cover your love for the science of other galaxies, obsession might be a better word. Spending hours upon hours leisurely reading everything you could on them. A single wish of being able to see it all yourself. 

But you were here, on earth, the last place you wanted to be.

“Duty….since when have I ever had a duty to uphold?” Looking to the moon for solace, you let your anger simmer. A hesitant silence looms over you both before he speaks again.

“You are a princess, miss.”

You could feel the bile from your stomach threaten to claw up your throat, “just because I’m a princess doesn’t mean I don’t deserve love.”

👑 👑 

“Guards!” Your fathers aggravating voice booms through the castles library hall. The main doors fly open and two large men rush through, you don’t have time to react before they are each grabbing one of your arms. “Escort the princess back to her room.”

“You think locking me up will get me to agree?” Straining against the hard hands on you, you push forward.

“Agreeance or not, you will marry Lord Tun. It’s your choice whether you go peacefully or if I have to drag you the whole way there.” He threatens. His cold eyes trained on your blazing ones. “You should be thankful your life has a purpose, thankful that anyone would be willing to marry you.

“THANKFUL?!” Throat burning, the acidic taste from your stomach makes your voice hoarse. Your legs kick out in fury, shoving at the men surrounding you.  “Should I be thankful that my existence means nothing to you?”

“Finally you can be useful to this family.” He slams the book you were studying before he entered onto the table. He’s watching your reaction, the calculation in his eyes making your blood boil. “No more of these ridiculous ventures. They have made you obstinate and disrespectful. Your empty head is only filled with pathetic knowledge, making you unusable in any other way. You owe it to this family to be obedient in this marriage.”

“You know nothing of me!” You scream, throwing your whole body at him. Never in your life have you ever wanted to use violence until this moment, even more so on your father. Your anger numbs you to the pain in your arms, the bruises forming from the two men holding you back. “I owe you NOTHING.”

“You owe me your LIFE.” He barks art you, slamming his foot on the hardwood. This time you do flinch. “And I will do with it as I see fit.” 

Adjusting his robes he signals at the guards holding you.

“Take her. Her room shall be locked until I call for her presence.”

As they pull you away, your body goes limp. Every word you thought your parents felt about you had now been expressed out loud. You let them drag you into the room, throwing you onto the bed you catch yourself. Eyes and mind glazing over with tears and rage. But not enough to not hear one of them mumble ‘ungreatful’ under their breath. 

The doors slam shut with such force it shakes the paintings on your wall. The loud metal clank of the door locking seals your mouth as you fall onto the bed, angry tears stream down your face as you let yourself give in to exhaustion.

👑 👑 

It had been hours since your door was locked, food had been slid in on a silver tray but you had refused to eat it. The anger in your body making your desire for food vanish for the night. When they had collected the still full tray you had attempted to rush whoever was at the door to escape. However, your plans were in vain as there were two guards with the kitchen maid. It felt as though you had run into a wall when you collided with them. 

You couldn’t tell how long you had sat there, curled up on the cold marble floor, the only warmth coming from your thin day dress. Tears drying up after admitting to yourself that you were an animal locked in a cage, and that’s all you would ever be. A small canary locked in a desolate, rusty cage watching the bright, endless sky in longing.

The sky had begun to darken through your balcony window, the shadows in your room first receding then becoming new in the moons light. Your glazed eyes only focused on the floor, silence cutting you deeper and deeper as the hours ticked by. Wishing for things that could never happen.

Wishing to be free…free to go where you wanted. Free to see the world, all worlds. Free to love. Love? The image of the beautiful long haired blonde man flashes through the stars in your mind. His slender silhouette in the forefront of your mind appears in the shadows on the floor, not sure if you’re imagining it or if it could be real. Either way you don’t move, you can’t. Body frozen in place. 

“Miss?” A soothing concerned voice dances on the still air, stirring you from your trance. Your eyes gradually moving up to the glass doors, now open, the warm air covers you, the delusions of a man you can never be with melts away. The realization is slow to you, leaving the real man in your bedroom. 

“Hyunjin?” You croak quietly, voice catching as it feels like it’s tearing through your throat. 

He rushes over to you, warm hands cupping your cheeks searching through the depths to find you again. 

“I’m here, princess.” He urges, the tone in his voice is something you can’t place, but you’re too lost in your sadness. His presense pulling you out little by little. “You’re not alone.” 

Swallowing the saliva collecting in your mouth feels rough but it gives you just enough relief to speak.

“How come when you call me princess it sounds so nice, but from others it sounds like a threat?” Softly chuckling to yourself, you see a glimmer in his eyes. A smile forming on his angelic face. If not for your state of mind, you would never speak like this outloud around him. The butterflies normally causing chaos in your stomach are fluttering with a want to fall deeper into his eyes. 

His thumb begins to caress the plump skin on your cheeks, “My princess.”

Realzing you’ve exposed yourself, you begin to feel your body heat up. Embarrassment invades your sense, your cheeks and eyes giving you away. 

“What are you doing here?” You whisper, enclosing his hands in yours and pulling them away from your face. Not really letting go of them, for fear of dropping again. 

“I have to show you something.” He stares down at your hands on his, hesitantly feeling the soft flesh of your delicate hands.

Hearing footsteps pass by your door, you glance at the menacing wooden behemoths. Do you risk going with him? The possibilities of him being punished for helping you break out of your dim cell are endless. You have no idea what your father would do to him, but whatever it would be would be wishing for death. 

Or do you throw all concers away? He risked so much to just come here, he knows how bad this could be…but still he came.

“Will you come with me?” There’s almost a pleading sound in his voice, strained in a way. You look back to him. On his knees infront of you on the marble floor, large hands in yours, dressed in black only with a wish for you to go with him. Something unspoken passes in his eyes, you vaguely see it before it’s gone.

“Yes.” You sound out of breath when you finally answer. His smile knocking the wind out of you. He jumps to his feet, pulling you up with him, never letting go as he runs the both of you to the balcony. You peer over the edge, 3 stories down is the lush green grass and flower beds. You assumed he had climbed up something, but you see nothing he could have used.

“How-?” You cut yourself off, dry laugh stopping you from even finishing your thought. From all the times you’ve known Hyunjin you’ve learned not to ask. Somethings about him could be explained, but others seemed too impossible to try.

“Do you trust me?” He dead pans for a moment before raising an eyebrow to you.

“Always.” 

If tonight was the last night you could be yourself, to truly let yourself feel things you never let yourself before, then no more acting coy. No more covering it up. Honesty for one night, before the rest of your life lying, lies entrapping you to be who your family demanded of you. 

He steps up onto the stone edge of the balcony, hand reaching out to help you alongside him. You don’t hesitate as you follow him up. The height dizzying you, you clasp harder onto him. He lets out a small laugh as his arms reach around you, one around your back and the other under your legs. 

You squeak in surprise. You had not been expecting to be carried bridal style in this situation. Your arms loop around his neck, staring at him in disbelief. 

“Still trust me?” Mischief cracks onto his features. 

“Al~wa~ys~” You dare him.

“Close your eyes then.” He whispers into your ear, to which you do so. Now whether that was from the closeness of his voice and breath on your skin or just following commands, you didn’t know. 

Regardless, before you can even process you feel a rush of wind race past you, your body feeling momentarily light before gravity restarted. 

“It’s time to run princess.” His soft voice sings. You peer one eye open, the other quickly following when see that you are now on the grass. No questions, you warn yourself. He gently places you back on your feet, this time it’s you who extends your hand for him to take before running off into the surrounding forest. 

You don’t know where you’re running, but it doesn’t matter. Everything that’s happening in these past moments, could all be a dream. Even if this turns out ot be one for now you would fully embrace it. Before long he’s overtaking you, his enchanting laugh fills your ears as he directs you deeper and deeper into the wooded dangerous area. The light of the moon beaks through the tops of the trees, your lunges inflating with an air you had missed. 

You both burst through the tree line, illuminated by the stars and moon is a small clearing. A pond reflects back the night sky creating even more of an endless illusion. You walk past him as he slows, dropping his hand to full take in all that is around you. For the first time in what feels like forever your heart feels full, full of life, full of wonder, full of joy. 

Your breath stops, heart beats wildly when you look to him. His hair even more golden by the moon, skin so smooth like diamond, eyes showing exactly what you see when you gaze upwards. You can’t think of what to say…. There’s so much unknown about him, so much more that you want to know. Trying to regain your thoughts when he appears like this proves futile.

“Would you honour me with a dance princess?” He bows, before reaching out a hand. You can’t help but laugh, thoughts returning to you. 

“You’re supposed to be showing me something” You squint at him, smirk on your face. 

He steps up to you, his breath on your skin makes you shudder. Closer then you thought you could have, but not close enough to what you wanted. 

“One dance” His pointer finger shows the number as he pouts cutely at you. 

“One.” You agree, giving in all too easy.

He takes a step back to allow himself room to offer you his hand. His smile taking a mischievous turn, you laugh as you accept it. Instantly the subdued butterflies are beginning to become jittery as they normally do when he is close to you. 

Pulling you close he wraps his other arm around you, you fight against the sound wanting to announce your inner thoughts as his body becomes flush with yours. You remember yourself enough to lift your arm to rest on his shoulder. He starts you both off in a casual step, occasional spins making you feel more light headed… maybe it wasn’t the spins….becuase when you come back to him, his smile is blinding. 

The dance becomes more complex, lifts and turns you’ve never done before. But here, in his arms it all seems familiar. Every move playfully calculated by him to make you laugh, to make you feel giddy and light. This is a moment you’ve only seen in your dreams, but somehow it’s real. 

The warmth of his hand on your lower back. The firm safety of his arm around you. The sturdy comfort of his chest pressed to yours. You’re too afraid to blink, terrified to miss a single moment. A moment that could come crashing to an end in a split second.

A slow dip takes you by surprise as he pulls you back up this time faces only inches apart, his face aglow with a purple light. The whole clearing is now covered in purple. He keeps you close, continuing to dance with you eyes locked on your reactions. Your mind is spinning, confusion on how there could be light this far in. Curiosity gets the better of you, tilting your head back to look up. 

In that moment, every unexplainable thing about Hyunjin is no longer out of your grasp. A purple beam of light trails straight out and down of the bottom of what to appears as a circular ship. Decorated with many white lights and grey features you cannot see in the midst of the shadows it is making on itself.

“It’s …” He slows your dance as he waits for your response. You don’t even register the fear in his trembling figure as you step back. Breaking contact to observe more carefully.

 “It’s beautiful” A smile from your heart appears on your face, eyes showing the purple lights dancing in them. Everything you wanted to escape was right there, even if you weren’t meant to leave, your dreams of it existing was something astonishing. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

You feel your heart constrict. The heaviness now returning. Reality of what this meant for you…for him..for you both setting in. 

“I see you.” Is all you can manage to say, body betraying you as tears stream down your face. He’s with you in an instant, cupping your face adn wiping them away. 

“You see what I truly am. But you don’t know my heart. Not yet,” The pleading in his eyes returns. His voice shaking as he speaks. “The only reason i stayed, the only reason I took this job. Was to stay close to you, I adored the way you were. I wanted to be able to watch you become something magnificent. But I can’t let you go without telling you….”

“Telling you how much I love you.” 

One sentence from him simultaneously breaks your heart and heals all of your past, in an instant. Choking on your tears you can’t find words. As much as you loved him, could you accept that he wasn’t from your world? Could you run away from your life and family just liked you always dreamed? Did you love him enough? Did you truly know what love was? 

“You don’t have to say anything. Please just listen to my last request-” You can only nod at him. “In two days time I have to leave, I have to go back home to my planet, but I want you to come with me. I want to give you everything in this universe and more.”

Your wide eyes stricken with panic fill with more tears. He’s leaving? But he wants you to go with him… You didn’t know what to do.

“No, no, don’t panic.” He reads your emotions quickly. “I’ll be here before I leave, I can wait till then for your answer. I won-”

“Princess!” An angry dark shout breaks the moment, dreadful silence following after. 

 The ships lights turn out and it disappears completely, before you’re brain has time to catch up.

“There looking for me.” Now panic for a different reason rises. Your eyes dart around the edges of the clearing. Nothing visible yet, there’s still time. “You need to run.”

“What? No, princess.” His face morphing to confusion and concern.

“Please? For me, run. I don’t want you to get hurt.” You beg, holding his hands to your chest. To let him feel the calm stray rhythm of your heart. “Besides what can they do to me? Lock me in a room and marry me off to some old guy?”

Your joke lacks any humour, as you both know what your asking him to do. 

“I promise to think about it, I promise to give you an answer, but you need to run.” You’re mind set, watching the emotions play through his eyes. “Please?”

He kisses your forehead before retreating back, the voices getting angrier as they approach. 

“I’ll be here. I’ll wait.” He takes off running. 

You become breathless as a cluster of Guards find you alone in the clearing. “You better feel lucky that we found you when we did, you’re father was demanding your head at one point.” 

You roll your eyes as you’re dragged back to the castle, steeling yourself for the punishment you were about to recieve. 

👑 👑 

“I hate this colour…” You mumble to yourself, staring at the ballgown chosen by your family. Not only was it a colour you didn’t like, but it has a terrible silhouette, uncomfortable material, but it was also to mark you as the bride to be tonight. 

You tsk angrily at it once again as you saunter over to your window. Barred balcony doors now only letting you catch a glimpse of the night sky. 

A night had already passed since you were seized and detained at the palace again. He said he’d wait for you, but you had no way of getting there. No way of sending any sign of your situation. And of course tonight of all nights Lord Tun and your parents had decided would be the engagement party.

A knock at your door tears you away from your angry stupor. 

“Come in.” You call, unmoving. You hear the door creak open and rustling drawing near.

“Princess, a gift has been delivered to you.” One of your families longterm maids informs you. She was the only person in this retched place that had any pity and remorse towards you. She learned quickly to never show it infront of your family, but you knew she was always worried for you. 

“What is it?” You question, a gift? Who would send you a gift? “A dress?”

She hangs the large garment bag from the clothing rack. Unzipping the white cloth and revealing the most beautiful gown you had ever seen. Layers upon layers of a soft grey material, in sections almost seeming black incredibly detailed with silver lining. Sparkles catching the light upon every movement, dusted over the whole gown but concentrated around the hem. It was like stars in the night sky.

“Who?”

“I would assume the boy that sees the stars in you.” She offers. “I may be old, but I am not blind.”

“Do you think it’s too late?” 

She contemplates your question only for a moment before giving a devilish smile, “I say, give them one hell of a show and start running.”

👑 🛸🪐 

Running up each step, you’d lost your shoes long ago, dress hicked up so you won’t have to worry about tripping. You can’t afford to let anything slow you down, can’t look back. 

You swing the wood door open to the maids quarters, the metal key on the bed as she said it would be. Dashing through through the chamber you grab the cold key, palms sweaty you hold it to your chest. Your feet are numb to the pain of fleeing the Engagment party.  You turn down corridor after corridor, evading everyone frantically searching for you. 

Your lungs burn from not taking in enough air, but you ignore it. Nothing would stop you from getting out of this palace. Nothing.

So close are you to the hidden back door, the door only the maids know about. Your only true escape route.

There was no way you’d be forgiven for the scene you caused at the party. Making a grand entrance in the dress he left for you. The anger in your heart you finally spoke allowed, watching as the perfect faces cracked as your voice words assaulted them like a flaming train wreck. Maybe flipping the cake onto your parents as you ran past them was on the petty side, but by the stars it made you feel better. 

The shelving unit that hides the door comes into sight. Crashing into it, you push it aside, arms trembling with exhaustion. The key smoothly slides in the door, flinging it open you’re overwhelmed with the cool night air. Grabbing your skirt once again you waste no time. You take off running towards the clearing you have not been able to forget. The secret memories you’ve held onto for so long, flood your mind as you break the outer tree line.

Late nights sneaking out the court yards to watch the young boy train with the others. The pretty, soft face your butterflies first took flight for. His limbs long and thin, making him look awkward as he tried to keep up. You’d laugh at his endearing attempts, but your heart stirred. Eventually he grew into himself, his body being lean with muscle, every move becoming sure and strong. With that more fascination grew.

Sneaking around to catch glimpses of his combat training weren't enough. When he took on the roll of driver you were beside yourself when you found out he would be your alternate driver on occasions. That in itself made you show up at more family events, much to your dismay and parents approval of appearances. But having him for any moment for yourself made all the nights worth it. 

Catching any sight of him in the palace walls made the torment more bearable. The first time you had a real conversation on a drive back from an event you thought for sure the beating in your heart could be heard from the backseat. Swallowing down the involuntary need to stutter or rush your words out in fear of saying something abrasive. But the more he spoke the more you wanted to listen, and the more he encouraged you to speak as well. 

The feeling of normality but in something so extraordinary.

Everything in you is screaming in pain as you finally close in on the clearing. Your feet bleeding from the forest floor, lungs on fire, fatigue wearing on you. Still you hope on everything in this world he is there. Waiting for you.

Bursting through the thick trees, you see his figure standing in the middle of the grassy plane. 

“Hyunjin!” You manage to scream, although it comes out hoarse and the burn bites back. 

He turns to you just in time for you to lunch yourself at him, arms wrapping around his neck. You feel him freeze in shock for a moment then his arms wrap around your torso. He holds you incredibly close.

“Princess” He whispers into your hair, inhaling your scent as he tightens around you. You lean into him but shift to try to take the pain off of your feet, now that you’ve made it your mind and body are catching up with eachother.

He notices instantly, pulling back to look you up and down. You dress had ripped at the hem, must have caught on something as you were running. Because of the rip he can see you bloody feet. He kneels down infront of you, lifting one with a feather light touch to examine it. 

“Are you in much pain?” The concern in his voice and his skin on yours, even how small it is, makes you feel as though you could dance forever. 

“Not now.” You shake your head. He continues to look at the torn skin.”I see what you are…”

He freezes, eyes widening up at you. 

“I know you are not from here, but far away.” You continue. “And that is a scary thought.”

You take a deep breath as his eyes start to swim with panic. 

“But you are still you, no matter where you’re from.” You smile, letting your heart sing fully for the first time. “I don’t need the universe. All I need is you. So wherever you go, I shall go too.”

Instantly the clearing fill with purple light again, it surprises you to look up. The same ship as before hovers over you, the beam in a circular perimeter around you both. You study it in awe, forgetting yourself and the man infront of you. 

Your curiosity is broken when he sweeps you off your feet, like that night, when he broke you out. You release a startled squeak, holding onto him now feels like second nature.

“My princess.” He coos at you, eyes shimmering with the stars in your heart. 

“Yes. Your princess.” You breath as he leans in, soft lips gently brushing against yours. The lights around you becoming too bright to keep your eyes open. His electricity and heat course through you and you know that you’ve left this world behind. 

All those nights wishing on shooting stars didn’t amount to anything, you should have wished on a fallen one. 

masterlist