I Make A Lot Of Dick Jokes In Real Life, I Thought This Was Fitting

I make a lot of dick jokes in real life, I thought this was fitting

Boobs

Reminder that I love Clotted Cream Cookie~

I discovered a new ship exists 🙂

James: I'm incredibly fast at math.

Edward: Alright, what's 30x17?

James: 47

Edward: That's not even close.

James: But it was fast

⚠Abuse Warning⚠

I had a headcanon that Clotted Cream wears make up(foundation I think?) To hide the bruises and marks from Custard's physical abuse.

What would Wildberry and Crunchy Chip do upon removing Clotted Cream's make up?

Omg... It's been a while but thank you for the opportunity to think about them.

So much angst thoughts. I think first they would be concerned the maybe Clotted Cream is being careless when on the battle field but with more examination the realize maybe it's not a beast doing it. Crunchy Chip will definitely try to sniff out the truth. Wildberry wants to let it be but at some point he does gently ask Clotted Cream if someone attacked him. Clotted Cream of course denies it. Wildberry sees right through it and he ask again once more if some attacked him. Clotted Cream just tells him that he was but it's none of his or Crunchy Chip's concern.

I can see a moment where when Crunch Chip and Wildberry do find out Clotted Cream is being abused and they gently confront him about it and Clotted Cream just has a panic attack, shaking and leaning over a table as he starts to tear up. They weren't supposed to know, he can not let his image be tarnished, he can't be a disappointment any more... Crunchy Chip and Wildberry do try to comfort him but Clotted Cream just flinches when the get close. Clotted Cream only allows Crunchy Chip's cream wolf get close, as he is close with Clotted Cream (at least I love the idea of his cream wolf getting close to him). Crunchy Chip and Wildberry will give him space, Crunchy Chip telling his cream wolf to stay by his side for now.

You ship clotted x crunchy x wild!? Sweet!!! So what do you think their dynamic will be like?

HYHGVJGH I SHIPPED IT FOR THE FUNNY HA HAS BUT I DO HAVE THOUGHTS

ETA: I missed the Wildberry so I just wrote the dynamic with clotted and crunchy but I have added their dynamic at the end.

Clotted Cream wanting to get with Crunchy Chip is scandalous. At least that how it feels like to him at first. Like he's always had the thought of marrying into another house, making sure to do the custard house proud. So him being attracted to this feral yet dignified warrior of the cacao kingdom just makes him feel a bit... Excited? Yet so guilty. He indulges a bit by teasing and flirting with Crunchy Chip, and Crunchy Chip is very oblivious by all this. He gets angry when ever Clotted cream tries to give him sweets, he will take them out of politeness. Clotted cream fonds over crunchy chip as they find them so cute. He does have to hold back his hand from petting Crunchy Chip too often.

For me I think I like the idea of it being a one-sided crush, because I feel like Crunchy Chip does not trust Clotted cream at all. I also think about how trapped Clotted Cream must feel in his position of keeping up the custard house name and also keeping up appearances. He just wants Comfort. He has urges to wanting to hug and cuddle Crunchy Chip but they feel they can't.

If you want a dynamic on them actually being together? Awkward. Complete Awkwardness in the beginning as the culture gap is very wide and miscommunication is abound. Clotted Cream has to learn not to spoil Crunchy Chip, and Crunchy Chip has to learn that it's okay to chill, as there is a time and place. They get use to each other's company.

Wildberry is the mediator between the two. He keeps track of them both. He never has to say much he just has to be there. He also will say what they both need to hear, for Clotted Cream emotionally and logically for Crunchy Chip. He also likes cuddles, and when he sees clotted cream trying to over work themselves he will pull him into a mandatory break. If Crunchy Chip gets a little restless he will take him on a walk. Or as he puts it, "on a patrol".