Lancer: Danny, You Can't Just Get Your Ghost People To Write Your Essays, I Know That Some Of Them Lived

Lancer: Danny, you can't just get your ghost people to write your essays, I know that some of them lived it, but you should still be the one to write it

Danny: what makes you think I didn't write it?

Lancer, holds up a screaming papyrus with glowing ghost text on it:

Danny: yeah okay, that’s fair

Things that could've happened if Lancer was in on the secret

Short conversations between Ghost King!Danny and in the know!Lancer

Mr Lancer had found out a while ago that Danny Fenton is Danny Phantom when he saw him transform, not that Danny really cared, it was his senior year and he was already so over the whole secret identity thing.

He was tired, overworked, and a king.

He could care less about his identity.

But having his teacher know about his… extracurricular activities had already proved to be much more lucrative than he first thought.

“A ghost ate my homework,” Danny said, completely serious as he looked at Mr Lancer.

“Which one?” the teacher asked, the poor guy, he had probably been teaching for eons now, and yet Danny didn’t doubt that he got the slot of ‘worst student I’ve ever had to teach’.

He’d be lying if he said it didn’t make him just a tiny bit proud.

“A blob ghost, it accidentally swallowed my work, if you still want to see it, here you go.” Danny placed the ectoplasm-covered paper in front of his teacher, wincing at the loud squelch it made as it hit the table, but otherwise not saying much.

Mr Lancer just sighed before waving him off, accepting that this was how it was going to be.

“I accidentally froze my school work while fighting yesterday's ghost,” Danny said, handing in his homework, frozen completely solid.

“Thank you for saving the city,” was all Mr Lancer said, accepting the homework and putting it in the microwave.

“So let me get this straight, you can’t make it to school tomorrow, because you have to go to court?” Mr Lancer asked, ignoring the incredulous looks his fellow teachers shot him as he pressed the phone closer to his ear.

“I know this is super inconvenient, but it’s really important,”

“At least tell me you’ve done nothing wrong,” he said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Not this time!” he could hear the grin on Danny’s face, “But I’m kinda like a judge in the ghost realm, so,”

Great.

One of his students was a judge.

In the ghost world.

Just great.

“No,” Mr Lancer said.

“Oh come on!” Danny whined.

“No,” he reiterated.

“They’ll be no trouble, I swear,” Danny promised.

“I won’t let Johnny 13 and Kitty sit in on one of my classes,”

“But they’re super nice! And Kitty really loves this literature stuff, don’t you want a student who actually listens?”

“...fine, but just this once!”

“Mr Lancer, I just got a call saying that two kingdoms are about to fight, may I take care of that?” Danny asked, grinning as he ignored his classmates staring at him.

“Not if it’s the Dragon kingdom,” Mr Lancer said, not fazed at all as he continued to read.

“It’s the Far Frozen and the medieval one,”

“Still no,”

Danny sighed, sulking as he slid down in his seat, pointedly ignoring Mr Lancer for the rest of the lesson.

“We need to borrow Fenton,” Skulker said, already grabbing Danny by the arm.

“Can it wait till the break?” Mr Lancer wasn’t even worried as the rest of the students stared wide-eyed.

“I’m afraid not, kingly duties and all,”

“Fine, but bring him back before the end of the school day,”

“No promises,”

“You can’t just… not go to school for a week due to ghost stuff,”

“Day of the dead is a whole thing Mr Lancer! We need at least a week to prepare for it,” Danny argued.

“Can’t they do it without your help?”

“I’m kinda the king, it’s pretty important for me to be there, I have final say and all,”

“...fine, but I expect a written essay about it, four pages, at least,”

“You’re the best!”

“Danny, please take off your crown, you’re distracting your classmates,”

“Sorry,”

“You’re late,”

“I’m dead,”

“Why didn’t you do your homework?”

“I died,”

“You-”

“Dead!”

“You can’t just use the fact that you’re dead as an excuse for everything,”

“Wow, insensitive much, I literally died dude,”

Okay but imagine all the Batkids using "Bats" as a swear word

Lex Luthor and Conner Luther-Kent

Lex is doing something evil again and Superboy Senior tries to stop him:

Lex: You're grounded! No defeating your dad!

Kon: Well, Clark says I'm not grounded!

Lex: I'm your father, and I say you are!

Kon: You have joint custody!

Lex: ON THE WEEKENDS YOU'RE MY KID!

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

Danny, ghost king and therapist

So I was supposed to post this on Ao3 but it isn't complete enough for that, so here you go! You're welcome to take this and make it longer. Please tag me if you do though, I'd love to read it.

Danny had expected a lot of things when he was crowned Ghost King.

He had expected paperwork, he had expected learning a lot of new things and having to break up fights between kingdoms.

He had expected fighting to go down by a lot due to his new laws, and he had expected a lot of hate for being half-human.

He had not expected to have to schedule times where Ghosts were allowed to bother him in school for therapy sessions and relationship advice.

But now he was seriously thinking about it.

Ember was standing right there, in front of every one of his classmates, and she was crying.

She was bawling actually, and she kept going, one hand on the teacher’s desk as she continued to sob.

“What do we do?” Danny heard someone whisper, and not for the first time in that class he wished Tucker and Sam were there.

“Danny!” Ember finally shouted, and every single person in the class snapped their heads towards him, he felt himself sink further into his chair without thinking about it.

“Yeah?” he managed to weakly say, looking at Mr Lancers direction.

“You’re the king, can’t you like, I don’t know, banish him?” she asked, wobbling over to his desk before falling over it and grabbing both of his hands.

He looked at her wide-eyed.

What was he supposed to do now? Clearly, everyone had heard her, and it wasn’t like he could pretend she was wrong! She was clearly distressed and in need of someone, so, with a sigh, Danny resigned himself to his fate.

He pat her hair, making soft shushing noises.

“What did Skulker do this time?” he asked with a sigh, growing increasingly uncomfortable with the looks his classmates were giving him.

“He-” she stopped herself, as another sob wrecked its way through her body.

“It’s okay Ember, take your time,” he said.

Paulina and Star were staring at him with wide eyes, and he could feel Dash glaring at him, this was going to be fun to explain.

“He hasn’t texted me back for ten days! And I know it’s cause of that stupid hunt, why you even allowed for it I’ll never know, but, I’m important too, you know?” she looked at him, her eyes filled with so much sadness he almost forgot about the fact that she had appeared at school and ruined his cover.

The hunt was a small gathering Danny had let take place, it was supposed to last for a couple days where he had made some ectoplasm animals that they were allowed to hunt for sport, it was to breed comradery with a bit of friendly competition, it would also serve as to take off the edge for some of the more blood-thirsty ghosts as he continued to work on the new legislation that was supposed to make it illegal for ghosts to attack humans at night.

“It was supposed to be over days ago, why are they still continuing?” Danny frowned, he had made it so it would last three days max, how were they still not done?

“What do you mean? He said it would take at least a month.” Ember frowned as well, and for a second they just looked at each other, confused.

Then she started sobbing again, “He lied to me!?” she shouted in between her sobs, clinging on to Danny as she used his shirt as a tissue.

“It’s okay Ember, he doesn’t deserve you anyway,” he said, sounding like he really meant it.

Paulina came up behind Danny, and for a second he tensed, ready to take a hit or start a fight to protect her, but all Paulina did was bring a chair and drape herself over Ember as she muttered reaffirming words.

“Danny’s right,” Star said, coming up behind him, “Skulker doesn’t deserve you, you are beautiful and talented and you have the greatest voice I have ever heard! He should be so lucky as to have you,” she said, crossing her arms.

“I’ll speak to him about this, but I can’t just… banish him,” Danny said, trying to give her a smile that made her feel better.

She pouted, clearly not happy, but she definitely felt better now than she had when she first entered the classroom.

So, nodding, she flew away and back to the Ghost Zone.

Danny sighed, leaning back in his chair as he rolled his shoulders, great, another thing to do on top of his already busy schedule.

“Care to explain?” Paulina asked, eying him up.

“Not really, no,” Danny said with a shrug, and then the class continued, like nothing had ever happened.

Kinda.

The next time it happened, he was alone again, Sam was in another class and Tucker was sick, so Danny was left to deal with it alone.

Great.

“Tell Ember, that she can’t just keep running to you every time we fight,” Skulker said, crossing his arms as he floated above everyone in the science class.

Great.

“Should’ve thought of that before you lied to her!” Paulina shouted at him, and Danny smiled, happy that his classmates were defending his people.

“Quiet missy,” Skulker sneered, clearly unhappy with having a human yell at him.

“She’s right, you know.” Danny levelled him with a glare, “Why did you lie to her?”

Skulker, to his credit, did look guilty.

“I just wanted a chance to hang out with my boys,” he murmured, looking almost sheepish.

“You could have done that without the lying,” Danny pointed out, earning murmurs of agreement, especially from the female students.

“She always gets so annoyed when I start asking to hang out with my friends, this was much easier.” he shrugged, all of his sheepishness vanishing.

“You still should’ve told the truth, the reason you guys keep breaking up is because of your abysmal communication skills,” Danny said, crossing his arms, “And you shouldn’t have used the hunt to excuse it, now I might just not make a new one, this could’ve been a yearly thing you know, now, I’m not so sure,” Danny said, casually shrugging as he glared at Skulker.

“I didn’t do anything!” he said, sounding like he genuinely believed he didn’t do anything.

“I get that you want to be with your friends, but you have to be honest with her about that.” Danny shrugged, looking at Skulker one last time before waving him away.

He left with a sigh.

The Justice League meet Nightwing

I've read every one of these fics I could find and I need more, so in a random burst of inspiration I wrote five pages of a semi-okay fanfic for the JL meet the batfam. Not sure if I should post the whole thing so this is a test to see if anyone wants to read it.

word count: 555

It hadn’t been on purpose, really.

He swore it.

But… well.

When your dad is Batman you grow up in a very paranoid house.

He was off-world (again) on some league business and so it was up to his children to take care of Gotham. Gotham has always been a cruel mistress.

It was then that some of his fathers less… intelligent co-workers had decided to show up.

Now it wasn’t like these people were stupid, they were pretty smart actually, Barry was a forensic chemist for God’s sake! But he lacked certain street-smarts that could only be achieved if you lived in Gotham.

So, he and Hal Jorden had decided that ‘when the cats away, the mice come to play’ or in this case; when the bats away, the metas come to play. Though Hal technically isn’t a meta.

He had only done his job! He was there to protect the innocent children who thought Gotham was a playground, who didn’t realise how truly terrifying she could be, metas especially. Most of them relied too heavily on their powers, they don’t think mere mortals stand a chance at actually hurting them.

They of course have never been struck with fear gas.

“No metas in Gotham,” he had growled, in much the same way Batman does.

They had both jumped, looking like headless chickens as they spun around to try and find him. Even with his blue stripes, the darkness settled over him like a cloak, protecting him.

“Isn’t Batman supposed to be off-world?” Hal had whispered to Barry, both of them clearly spooked.

He still smiles at the thought.

“No metas in Gotham,” he had repeated again, stepping out of the shadows so they could see him.

“Who are you?” Barry had been the first to speak, speedsters, always in a hurry.

“Nightwing, no metas in Gotham,” it seemed to be the only thing he had said the whole day, you should think they were five with how many times he had to repeat himself.

“We thought Batman was the only vigilante in Gotham!” Barry had said, and that made him laugh.

The kind of laugh that made him crouch and heave for breath, the kind of laugh that only jokers gas could cause.

“You shouldn’t be here if you don’t even know half of Gotham’s protectors,” because that’s what they were- are.

Gotham is a cruel mistress who will swallow you whole, but she is their cruel mistress.

“This is the last time I’ll repeat myself, no. Metas. In. Gotham.” They had seemed to get the memo, rushing out of the city. Probably going up to the watchtower to tell the rest of the league about their encounter.

He should’ve been more careful.

Because now he was here, in the cave, listening to Batman.

“Do you know how hard it is to protect you guys and keep you hidden from a group of superheroes who work in space!?” At least this was Batman scolding Nightwing, not Bruce scolding Richard.

He shudders at the thought of Bruce using his actual name.

“I’m sorry dad, but I couldn’t just have them galavanting through Gotham!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jason snicker at him, stuffing his mouth with popcorn, clearly enjoying the fact that he isn’t the one being scolded.

Traitor.

Ask and you shall recieve:

Bruce is a patient man, he has to be, being the father of six to God-knows-how-many children takes a certain level of patience.

Especially when one of them decided it would be fun to adopt a cow and another decided that they should dress said cow up in a Batman costume.

But that was yesterday, today, he has to sit through a meeting with his coworkers.

“So… me and Hal thought that, well since you were off-world, we thought that- thought that you might, maybe, want someone patrolling Gotham, for you,” Flash started, voice fiddling out at the end. Batman grunted in reply.

“We met Nightwing,” Green Lantern says, cutting off Flash’s ramblings.

“I heard.” If his kids saw him now they would be dying of laughter, even Duke would be rolling around on the floor right next to Stephanie, sweet innocent Duke who was normally too polite to laugh at anything Bruce did. Barely a month and his children had already corrupted him.

At least Damien wouldn’t be laughing.

He might be threatening to kill them though.

Bruce couldn’t decide if that was better or worse, did that make him a bad parent?

“Who is he? Why is he allowed in Gotham? Do you work together? I thought you worked alone?” Flash. Always with the rapid-fire questions, it was a speedster thing, Bruce decided in his mind.

“Clearly,” Batman lowered his voice slightly, the low growl he had spent years perfecting clear, “I don’t.”

And no more was said about that subject.

---

When you say you’re part of a team of superheroes who protect the world from threats, some people take that as a challenge, instead of going “yay, if Aliens attack we might not die!” they go “wanna bet?” and so the Justice League gets caught in situations like these, where some villain decides that their big debut into the crime scene will be to kill the Justice League.

This is, of course, a very good debut. Would make everyone fear you and set the whole world into a state of panic.

But they always seem to underestimate how powerful Gods, aliens and metas can be when working together.

Except for maybe this guy, who currently had Flash, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Superman, J’onn and Batman placed right in front of a bomb.

And none of them could do anything about it.

Superman was slowly dying from blood poisoning and if they didn’t get the dagger out of his stomach within the next five minutes, there was no saving him.

Of course, this wasn’t the immediate concern as the bomb was going to explode in four minutes.

“It has been… an honour,” Diana says, coughing up blood.

They all nod solemnly, everyone saying their last words.

Everyone except Batman.

His face seems expressionless, but a new grey hair can be found slowly growing.

For those who don’t speak bat, he’s saying please don’t do something crazy and stupid.

It’s the expression he makes before every gala as he looks at Jason, Tim, Stephanie and Barbara talk.

The villain has already fled, same with all of his henchmen, so all they can do is stare at the ticking clock and pray.

But then a figure swoops down and lands on the bomb, quickly disabling it before pulling the knife out of Superman.

Getting him to hold a cloth to the wound as they wait for his super healing to kick in.

The figure, Red Robin, helps all of them out of their chains.

Pointedly skipping Batman before coming back to him in the end.

“In and out, he said, it won’t take long, he said, you aren’t needed, he said,” he starts, arms folded.

“Red-” he holds up a hand, not yet done speaking.

“Oracle doesn’t need to be on comms, he said, you’ll only get in the way, he said,” Red Robin says, continuing his rambling for what seems like forever.

At some point Diana frees Batman from his chains, he grunts a thanks at her, not really listening to Red Robin anymore.

“Did you get him?” He interrupts him, ignoring the looks the rest of the league is giving them.

“Hood has him in police custody,”

“Uhm, excuse me,” Superman says, ever the polite farmboy even as he’s bleeding out.

“Who are you?” his healing seems to kick in.

“Red Robin.” And then he’s jumping up into the air, disappearing into the shadows.

The Justice League meet Nightwing

I've read every one of these fics I could find and I need more, so in a random burst of inspiration I wrote five pages of a semi-okay fanfic for the JL meet the batfam. Not sure if I should post the whole thing so this is a test to see if anyone wants to read it.

word count: 555

It hadn’t been on purpose, really.

He swore it.

But… well.

When your dad is Batman you grow up in a very paranoid house.

He was off-world (again) on some league business and so it was up to his children to take care of Gotham. Gotham has always been a cruel mistress.

It was then that some of his fathers less… intelligent co-workers had decided to show up.

Now it wasn’t like these people were stupid, they were pretty smart actually, Barry was a forensic chemist for God’s sake! But he lacked certain street-smarts that could only be achieved if you lived in Gotham.

So, he and Hal Jorden had decided that ‘when the cats away, the mice come to play’ or in this case; when the bats away, the metas come to play. Though Hal technically isn’t a meta.

He had only done his job! He was there to protect the innocent children who thought Gotham was a playground, who didn’t realise how truly terrifying she could be, metas especially. Most of them relied too heavily on their powers, they don’t think mere mortals stand a chance at actually hurting them.

They of course have never been struck with fear gas.

“No metas in Gotham,” he had growled, in much the same way Batman does.

They had both jumped, looking like headless chickens as they spun around to try and find him. Even with his blue stripes, the darkness settled over him like a cloak, protecting him.

“Isn’t Batman supposed to be off-world?” Hal had whispered to Barry, both of them clearly spooked.

He still smiles at the thought.

“No metas in Gotham,” he had repeated again, stepping out of the shadows so they could see him.

“Who are you?” Barry had been the first to speak, speedsters, always in a hurry.

“Nightwing, no metas in Gotham,” it seemed to be the only thing he had said the whole day, you should think they were five with how many times he had to repeat himself.

“We thought Batman was the only vigilante in Gotham!” Barry had said, and that made him laugh.

The kind of laugh that made him crouch and heave for breath, the kind of laugh that only jokers gas could cause.

“You shouldn’t be here if you don’t even know half of Gotham’s protectors,” because that’s what they were- are.

Gotham is a cruel mistress who will swallow you whole, but she is their cruel mistress.

“This is the last time I’ll repeat myself, no. Metas. In. Gotham.” They had seemed to get the memo, rushing out of the city. Probably going up to the watchtower to tell the rest of the league about their encounter.

He should’ve been more careful.

Because now he was here, in the cave, listening to Batman.

“Do you know how hard it is to protect you guys and keep you hidden from a group of superheroes who work in space!?” At least this was Batman scolding Nightwing, not Bruce scolding Richard.

He shudders at the thought of Bruce using his actual name.

“I’m sorry dad, but I couldn’t just have them galavanting through Gotham!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jason snicker at him, stuffing his mouth with popcorn, clearly enjoying the fact that he isn’t the one being scolded.

Traitor.