"Goddamnit Narcissa, No"

"Goddamnit Narcissa, no"

–Lee Jordan, all the time

When you're typing so fast and the words get mixed together, spelled differently, with five tousand spelling errors, so it looks like you're writing in Old English.

Joining the Marauders fandom either gave me pain or love, there's no inbetween.

Rest in peace James and Lily. Also, fuck you, Peter.

This quartet is the most dramatic ever:

Fred 'acts like the world is ending and everyone he loves has died every time he loses a Quiddich match' Weasley

George 'declares life pointless to the entire school and decides to make it everyone's problem when Zonko's ran out of stink bombs' Weasley

Narcissa 'stutters, drops everything, throws up, trips down several flights of stairs at the mere mention of her crush' McGonagall

Lee 'got shouted at by Madame Pince on his first day and decided to spend the next seven years pissing her off as much as possible' Jordan

Huge thanks for @enbysiriusblack for the inspirational post, and who let me put their idea into my fanfiction's characters!

for the people who were never taught how to handle any kind of relationships, so they end up getting hurt. for the people who diagnose themselves but cannot be 100% sure because no one cares. for the people who over apologize for the people who wish traumatic events happened to them and others would understand and care. for the people who daydream all day and before falling asleep about someone showing them love. for the people who hope one day someone will notice and save them. for the people who aren't brave enough to ask help but too broken to hold it together alone. for the people who deny traumatic events to please others. for the people who were always told not to overdramatize and put on a show unneccesary. for the people who almost commited that suicide, but someone accidentaly stopped them from doing so and making them wish no one interrupted them that day. for the people who felt too weak to harm themselves physically. for the people who acted sick so they didn't have to socialize. for the people who acted like as if they're asleep in front of others to prevent conversations. for the people searching a parental figure in every adult they ever meet, for the people who have a biological mother, but found a true one in someone completely different and who accepted them as theit own child. for the people who wish this was all over. for the people who try to get deep into psychology and understanding themselves and others around them because no one ever made the slightest effort to do it to them. for the people who seek comfort in anything but reality. for the people who doesn't remember to anything bad happening to them but still feels something is just not quiet right. for the people growing up thinking everything is normal only to one day get to know someone so well and realize everything they thought was alright and normal before isn't actually. for the people with those sickening voices inside their mind. for the people feeling a sharp and sudden pang in their chest around their heart while reading these and knowing they just understood something that should be seen.

the biggest self-harm, self-sabotage happens inside of your mind.

you're not alone, we're here for you in the same world as you.

this post is for "quiet" self-harmers. for people who self-harm in a way that doesn't leave any marks like pinching yourself and biting yourself. for folks that starve. for people who they pop their pimples because it's painful. for people who hurt themselves through giving up on stuff they love. for folks that make up scenarios that make them feel worse like people they love shouting at them. for people that choke themselves. for folks that hold their breath to make them numb. for people that wash their mouth with soap as a form of self punishment. for folks that burn themselves with candles and lighters. for people that burn themselves under the shower. for folks that they tear off the skin around the nails and not only. for people who bite their nails to the point fingers hurt. for people that punch walls and stuff around them to beat themselves. for people that turn water icy cold under the shower. for folks that eat frozen fruits and ice cubes to make themselves numb. this is just as self-harm as cutting yourself. remember that.

I'm just so new at being a Marauders fan, two and a half months into this sad, angsty bullshit, and I still have to connect some dots.

Today's realization doze happened exactly five seconds ago, because;

Sirius spent his birthday, on November 2nd, 1981 after two days in Azkaban. With no one he loves around.

James and Lily dead, Peter deadly gone, Remus dead inside, and Sirius losing his shine, falling down as a dead star.

Now imagine him muttering constantly why he killed his only family, only for Bellatrix, next to his cellar, to whisper "I know you didn't do it."

I love to imagine them having a "nice childhood" together, only to be separated because of their parents' beliefs.

Imagine Sirius all dead inside, in a rotting, smelly prison, with his long ago evil turned cousin next to him, trying to awaken his shine again. Because Sirius cannot die, one of her favorite little Black.