Why Am I This Way - Tumblr Posts

Why do I have moments where when someone says my name, and I *know* its my name but theres an undeniable feeling of “thats not my name” but if its not my name, then what is? I also have moments where I look at myself in videos and pictures and I literally dont recognize that as *me* and the only reason I know its me is because ive seen myself in a mirror and nobody else in that memory was wearing those clothes with that haircut. Like, i know why i wouldnt recognize my voice, but why dont i regognize myself at all???

Sorry, this is going to be a little long ramble

This is the first time I am doing sometime like this, so here goes nothing...

There is something chilling about being a second-generation immigrant in a first-world country. Your life condition is at a level where there is more to be desired, but high enough compared to your peers back in your homeland that you can’t really complain.

Your life is basically better off than any of your relative because of your parents’ hard work and sacrifice, but your still have to build up a lot ahead of you for your children, ending with you doing most of the heavy lifting between the three first generation of this new family in a new land. Your parents are already halfway through their life and you are responsible for their peaceful and blissful retirement, but not your off springs to you.

This creates a dilemma where you feel like you can’t complain about your grievances without passing as privileged or spoiled to the diaspora that you belong to, but there is still a need to voice those concern or else they would never be solved because, to the eye of the public, the issues don’t exist or are insignificant, warranting no intervention.

You end up stuck in this feeling that you are not allowed to feel a certain range of emotions of discomfort because there are people who are suffering more than you and yes, they need the help of the world more than you. Their concerns take priority over yours, but the world has proven time and time again that it is not interested or is not in a rush at all to help out those who are in dire need, and if the world is taking its time fixing the really messed up thighs that lurk on our planet, it begs the question, when will they come around and address mines? Will they ever address my concerns?

To add salt to injury, people of your community say that you are lucky to live in such luxury, because to them, you are but in reality, you are far from it. That specifically, is what makes your position so awkward, you are not on the same level as the native of the land you now call home, even if that land in question was your birthplace, but you are from that land, so you are treated as such by people outside of your national boundaries.

It’s so frustrating because you want people to understand without coming across as condescending or entitled, but you also want to do so much more to help. It leads to an easy feeling of numbness and, honestly, that feeling is healthy for long periods of time.

I should stop shipping the mc and the villain

But I won't!

I'm just so new at being a Marauders fan, two and a half months into this sad, angsty bullshit, and I still have to connect some dots.

Today's realization doze happened exactly five seconds ago, because;

Sirius spent his birthday, on November 2nd, 1981 after two days in Azkaban. With no one he loves around.

James and Lily dead, Peter deadly gone, Remus dead inside, and Sirius losing his shine, falling down as a dead star.

Now imagine him muttering constantly why he killed his only family, only for Bellatrix, next to his cellar, to whisper "I know you didn't do it."

I love to imagine them having a "nice childhood" together, only to be separated because of their parents' beliefs.

Imagine Sirius all dead inside, in a rotting, smelly prison, with his long ago evil turned cousin next to him, trying to awaken his shine again. Because Sirius cannot die, one of her favorite little Black.

Like....I don't have issues with object permanence except when it's my hands

Can somebody explain???? Like I'm just sitting there and I'm like "WAIT WHERE ARE MY HANDS!?!?!?" I've never told anybody before help

cut a bitch off like the hash slinging slasher

Consumer rights suck ass

They should just take away the rights. I mean, the right to be informed and the right to safety is literally for pussies. They should just put every product inside of a mystery box along with a 3 pound-cylinder of a random element inside.

Like, think about it. Wouldn't it be fun to just stumble upon a nice little slice of actively-decaying radon whilst unboxing your toothbrush? It'd make a really nice bracelet if you cut it up into pieces, and they make for really good decorative pebbles. Those radon pebbles might even be placed outside of daycare centers or hospitals just for decoration. Or better yet, a big chewing stick of pure fluorine. Nothing better than pure unprocessed fluorine for the teeth!

In short, consumer rights are an excuse to whine like a little bitch every time you're butt-hurt about not getting your way and make some poor 15 year old's life gradually miserable every passing day.

Remember, legends take risks.

Pussies play it safe.

Stay strapped guys and gals.

*seductive rock music plays*

Time To Get Back Into A Fandom I Thought I Was Done With

I’m such a fool

Job interviewer: We will call you between 12am and 2pm to tell you our decision regarding your application.

Me: Guess I can do nothing in that time except starring at my phone and let my anxiety spiral.

idk

I had a weird ass dream where I was in some sort of contest w/ Donnie, and he won. Then because he won, he became the president of the USA.

I almost forgot I have a Tumblr account