Autumn Is My Favorite Time Of Year And Halloween Is My Favorite Holiday. But For Several Years, I've

Autumn is my favorite time of year and Halloween is my favorite holiday. But for several years, I've been too tired to celebrate or decorate. Since 2018 my life has kind of been nothing but stress and disasters and money worries, and I've been out of spoons to do the fun stuff that comes with Halloween. It's a bummer. But I still try to take time to enjoy what I can about the fall. The crunchy golden and red leaves beneath my feet. The cool air replacing that stagnant summer wind that makes it hard for me to breathe. Cider and doughnuts. The sunny days and chilly nights. Making a cup of tea and drinking it while wrapped in the fuzzy, soft blanket I got at Target. The one I lovingly call my "emotional support blanket." Wearing heavy boots and cable knit leggings. And digging out my favorite fall scarves. I have sparkly ones, and fuzzy ones, and my personal favorite one has big ol' t-rexes all over it.

Even without costumes or decorations or pumpkin carving, I still love everything about October.

🍁Halloween is soon🍁 gifs (edits) made by me :)

GKLAJLDKJALKDJKJ GOOOOOO READDDDDD ITTTTTTT

Bobby, meet Lucas - Chapter 7

day 19 - size matters

The islanders participate in a rather revealing challenge

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Tag List: @mrsbsmooth @eskiix @thoracic-orchid (let me know if you’d like to be tagged as well!)

Suresh-spiration

As we're about to get some Suresh fuckery very soon, I want to say, that I really hate him as a character, BUT I get why other people love him. I too have loved a toxic king (Levi *swooooon*). I will say though, my dislike of Suresh is so intense that I keep finding inspiration for fanfics where I get to write him suffer as MC moves on 😆 I seriously have at least three raw ideas in files on my computer... and one story that I've actually started where Suresh is the villain and ex-boyfriend of one of the guys.

Point is, my loathing of him is very motivating. And I keep finding songs that sort of reflect my view of how MC feels about him. Or at least felt. I have a long list of Suresh songs, but I was re-listening to my favorite Taylor album today and this sad little gem screams MC who has just been betrayed.

My only one My smoking gun My eclipsed sun This has broken me down My twisted knife My sleepless night My win-less fight This has frozen my ground

Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire...

I cannot.

Today's episodes... ugh. I don't even have the emotional energy for a good, cleansing funny rant. I haven't had a single person I'm actually interested in so it's been nothing but emotional defeat. Weary, exhausted defeat Sigh.

-- I never kissed Finn on that very first date. So after weeks of being treated like toenail fungus by everyone, I spent what felt like an eternity today being browbeat by Meera and Kat for the crime of being in the vicinity of someone who wanted to kiss me? Am I understanding it right?

--Arlo can fuck right off. Everyone acting all sad that she was gone can also fuck off. All she did was be vicious to MC all day every day. Unrelenting nastiness and they're like, OH WE'RE GONNA MISS HER. Bitch wasn't Priya where she was toxic but fun. She was just the toxic part.

--Meera sucks. Alfie sucks. Remember how Alfie was so into her because she was so chill and had zero drama? Almost like he's delusional about people and has unrealistic standards for others regarding their baggage.

--Suresh? Sorry Suresh Stans. He's fallen so low on my list of reasons to hate this season, it's almost comical. But from the outside, knowing people who like him... oof. That was brutal. Like whether he still wants you or not, or whether you still want him or not, kissing the girl he cheated on you with, in front of you, was a level of cruel I don't think I've ever seen in the game. What is the goal here? Oh right, misery.

--Finn? I appreciate him having my back I guess. It was hotter than anything I've seen from the boys because my bar is basically set on the ground at this point. But honestly, can he spend ONE MOMENT where he's not actively trying to hurt Kat's feelings, and uses other women to do it?

-- Gabi. Sweetheart. I don't care. No no. Shhhhhh. I don't care.

-- Dana. I told you we needed some space. I basically said I don't wanna be your friend. Stop coming at me sideways like the snake you are. I ain't here for your self-involved, one sided friendship.

-- Nicholas, I was 100% aware of what a snake you were when the game forced me to pick you up. So I'm unsurprised that I got bit.

--Lulu. Oh sweet Lulu with your beautiful eyes and your questionable taste in knitwear design. You are the one tiny spark of hope I have for the season to be even a little satisfying. You pieing Suresh really did it for me. I'm sure they'll fuck you up next week. But for now, you are my shimmery little treasure and I will protect you from harm.

Dana sucks. Once again Fusebox feels petty. OH YOU DON'T WANT FRIEND ISLAND. GUESS WHAT? NO FRIENDS AT ALL! I'm all for nuanced relationships. I too love Hope, she's a great friend. I don't mind someone a little messy. I love Chels. I wouldn't trust her with my secrets, but she still seems to have heart and is sincere in caring about MC. But the way this season is written it's impossible to feel like a single person actually likes us. I'm not a Suresh girl, so for me his attention feels very much like, I WANT WHAT I CAN'T HAVE and doesn't feel like he actually likes MC so much as wants to prove he can get them back, regardless of what they actually want. Even S4, which bored me greatly, had several excellent friends. Even if they had their own agendas and desires, they were still kind.

My love of a good rant is all that is keeping me going at this point. I'm refusing to spend gems on any scene, because it doesn't even matter if you do or not. Everyone reacts as if you did anyhow.

Angie would have none of this bullshit. She'd start punching fools for MC because she's got your back, always.

It’s official – all my previous MCs are ready to go to the villa to burn it down and hug my S5 MC tightly. I know it’s just a game, but see how everyone treats her (especially Dana who should be her bestie) make me feel sick. In previous seasons we had so many great friendship options (so far I love Chelsea, Seb and Kobi/Cora), and now I feel like everyone, if they could, would throw MC away. . .

SAME BESTIE 😭😭😭 Dana is the worst friend we've ever had point blank period. Suresh route or not!! being that I am on Suresh route this week she told MC that Suresh sleeping alone means absolutely nothing instead of supporting her but in the SAME breath told Kat that Finn in bed with another girl was more than likely nothing??? NAUR girly... pack it up. You're not my MC's friend AT ALL.

Loved Chelsea ❤️🥰, when you're not on a Noah route Hope is such a good friend and I really loved her too💕, Elladine was my season 3 bestie and again another 10/10, and Angie in S4 💖 all of my girls would've had MCs back!! Even if Angie didn't like Suresh (I would imagine she wouldnt) she wouldve still been supportive of MCs decisions.

The Sun in My Eyes: NEW CHAPTER!

Chapter 50: Pocketful of Sunshine

Bobby and Lili are friends. Best friends. No messy feelings here.

A03

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