More Spiderman: No Way Home Spoilers Without Context

More Spiderman: No Way Home spoilers without context

!!NO WAY HOME SPOILERS!!

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Crackfic idea. Dooku and Obi-Wan breaking into each others command ships to get drunk and commiserate over the Council’s stupid decisions. Dooku thinks he’s tricking Obi-Wan to the darkside and Obi-Wan thinks he’s tricking his Grandmaster back to the lightside… they’re both just tricking each other to Balance…

Dooku: Kenobi? Obi-Wan: I found your alcohol stash. *toasts with bottle of expensive brandy* Did you hear that the council made my teenage padawan a Council member but not a Master? Dooku: … that sounds like something stupid that lot would come up with as a good idea. *frowning* I have glasses, you absolute animal. Obi-Wan: Whoops! Dooku, later at Sidious: I don’t know how he got in, Master! I don’t even know how he got out!! But I almost had him!!

Dooku: … I had to sneak past your scarily competent second in command?! Obi-Wan: … Cody? Dooku: I don’t know! They all look the same!! The one with your lightsabre… *pauses* why do they have your lightsabre? That weapon is your life, you know?! Obi-Wan: Oh, yeah, that’s Cody! Did you find the alcohol yet? Dooku: I found your tea stash. Why don’t you have brandy stashed with the tea? I knew Qui-Gon had a horrible influence on you but- Obi-Wan, later at the Council: Masters, I couldn’t say why Count Dooku was on my ship, what he was looking for, how he got in, or even really how he left. But he was certainly here. That I can confirm! Oh, and nobody died, so that’s something…

Cody, wandering in on Dooku bitching about the Council: … General? Dooku: … I’m not here. I was never here. No one was here. None of us were ever here. What… what even is here? Obi-Wan: Ssshhhhh, you’re drunk. ‘n’ Cody isn’t a snitch. Dooku: … Cody: … Obi-Wan: … Doku: So.. anyway, did I tell about that one time when the Council-

No Way Home Spoilers without Context:

Songbird! :0

ANON ANON LOOK:

In which Obi-Wan Kenobi has an

E a r l y M i d l i f e C r i s i s

I'M TOO EXCITED TO WRITE AND I HAVE TO SLEEP BUT I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT OBI-WAN IS GOING TO TRY AND PROVE TO ANAKIN THAT HE'S A 'COOL DAD' BY TAKING HIM OUT DRINKING AND IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME AND I AM GOING TO GO TO BED WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE THINKING ABOUT IT THANK YOU ANON.

Doc Ock when he saw Tom Holland’s Spider-Man instead of Tobey