(quick Clarification: This Post Is Specifically About Neurodivergent Transmeds Refusing To Use People's

(quick clarification: this post is specifically about neurodivergent transmeds refusing to use people's neos out of an apparent disrespect and using their neurodivergence as an excuse to legitimately be mean. feel free to add more stuff onto this in the replies!)

hey guys don't mean to be queer on main but i think people using their neurodivergency as an excuse to misgender people isn't ok actually.

i've seen stories of quite a few people who use the fact that they have ADHD (or some other condition that may cause memory issues) and can't remember things well as an excuse to "forget" someone's neopronouns, even after being asked by that person multiple times to refer to them with those pronouns. this isn't ok on so many levels.

first of all, i think it's incredibly guilt-trippy to make someone feel bad about accidentally being ableist by expressing themselves, when in reality, they haven't done anything wrong at all. using funky and obscure pronouns is not ableist in any way just because some people might have issues remembering them, and i think the take that neopronouns are ableist, especially for that reason, is an incredibly ridiculous and purely situational excuse to be mean.

that's like if someone told you their name, and then you got mad at them for using that name because you struggle to remember it and you demanded them to use a name that's easier and more convenient for you to use, rather than the name that the other person feels comfortable with. that's not an accommodation, that's just being an asshole.

second of all, some neurodivergent people (such as autistic people for example) struggle with change and complex concepts like language and pronouns. it's hard to get used to using neopronouns or someone changing their pronouns sometimes, especially when it happens for the first time because you're so used to it. however. finding change hard is NOT an excuse to misgender someone for your own comfort. someone's deeply personal identity should not be the cost of your own convenience, and refusing to acknowledge and respect that identity by not doing the bare minimum that is using their pronouns is incredibly close-minded and harmful.

third of all, the way someone chooses to express themselves is literally none of your business. someone uses pronouns that are confusing and seem grammatically incorrect to you? none of your business. someone's using "stereotypical" pronouns that "make the queer/autistic community look silly"? not your problem. we're all a little silly.

if you're neurodivergent and you find neopronouns, or any pronouns, difficult to remember or understand, here are some tips you can try instead of being mean:

make a fun little chart of people's names, their pronouns and how to pronounce them (ex. Name | Pronouns | Pronounce)! colour code them, use stickers and drawings, anything that will help you remember which pronouns someone uses. stuff like whiteboards and docs can work well for people who frequently change their pronouns or have a lot of them. making the chart fun, personalised and memorable can help a lot with memory issues for a lot of people.

try practising saying or typing their pronouns, whether that's in the mirror or in group chats. there's some really good pronoun dressing room websites that help illustrate how to use more obscure pronouns in conversation.

feel free to ask people! if you can, ask them what their pronouns are and how to pronounce them. i'm sure they will not be mad and will gladly help you learn :) (though please remember to not out someone and their pronouns if they are in an unsafe place. make sure they feel comfortable first before asking/telling someone about their pronouns because some spaces can be really bigoted and unsafe unfortunately.)

make a character that has neopronouns! making an OC that you get attached to can help you familiarise yourself with the concept and referring to that character frequently with their pronouns!

hopefully this is helpful. if you end up seeing anyone in the neurodivergent community use their neurodivergence and an excuse to misgender someone, please block them and don't start an argument. bigotry will not be tolerated in this community or on my blog.

disclaimer: this post is NOT saying that having memory issues/issues with change makes you a bad person, nor does it make you intentionally ignorant and rude. this post is specifically about people who willfully refuse to respect and use someone's correct pronouns on the basis that they're neurodivergent and find them confusing, and choose to intentionally misgender people for their own comfort/convenience.

edit: also!! i should add that this post isn't saying that nd people who legitimately find neopronouns as a concept difficult to grasp (such as people with learning disabilities) are bad people either! that was something i didn't think of when writing this because this post is more about neurodivergent transmeds/transphobes i've seen in the queer and nd communities specifically, but yeah!! i think accommodations absolutely should be made if a neurodivergent person finds themselves having communication difficulties related to neopronouns because some disabled people actually cannot use them. for extra clarification i have added a disclaimer at the beginning of this post. (thanks to @zolf for pointing this out in the notes)

oh my poor sick little man..... he has a bad fever :(

i've always had a soft spot for sickfics and i like seeing strong characters get taken care of by the ones who love them most :) craig is making him chicken noodle soup in the kitchen, barry's favourite meal to have whenever he's not feeling well.

bonus: earlier version with ripped sleeves

i liked the thought of him being all snug in the only piece of clothing he hasn't ripped so i drew the sleeves of his jammies because it was cuter :)

it's 11 pm where i live and i'm tired,,, here's Barry stimming :)

i've never properly drawn him starting to rip his sleeves off before (shockingly) so here is the he :)

also bonus drawing:

mmmm apple bloom smoking a FAT blunt..

im so trie tird tire.

i was watching star trek and this clip of Worf's childhood pet disappearing singlehandedly made me laugh so fucking hard it sent me into a coughing fit and distracted me from watching the episode for like half an hour because i was SO fixated on how funny it was

the echoed "HOURNK" as he fades out of existence. the 80s editing and lighting. the bewildered look on Worf's face. i am in love with this show

i had a dream last night that was pretty Star Trek related, it started with my dad finding this youtube documentary about Captain Picard and existensial fear, and at one point it started turning into something like an episode of TNG and it was really silly and stupid

so like, there was this alien guy on the ship who was like this tall humanoid-ish guy who was part goat, like he had the torso of a completely white slim human but the head of a smug-semi human goat with completely black eyes, and these stupid little silicone ears that you can tell are just makeup'd on cause you can see the seam of the hat they used for the goat ears. it was like, completely shirtless with visible muscle, had goat hooves for its hands and feet and these black tights it'd wear too. he was like a smug pale twink with a goat-like head. its power was that it could infiltrate your thoughts and give you seering pain through making you think of and believe in intrusive thoughts, causing pain and intense anxiety to the crewmates of the ship. and every time he'd do this, he'd cross his arms and just smile at the person with his stupid little shit eating smirk. this obviously annoyed Picard because it kept trying to screw up control of the ship by giving everyone these intrusive thoughts, so he decided to play some mind games with it to try to stop it, to counter the thoughts that it was sending to confuse it and stun it.

the way it was defeated was that Captain Picard started fucking chasing it in circles around the bridge like he was a child playing tag with it and was like trying to gaslight it into thinking he wasn't chasing it by just yelling "NO I'M NOT" every time the goat alien said he was, thus countering its thoughts for long enough to be able to stun and apprehend it, and the alien was so embarrassed by being defeated this way that when it was sent back to its master's planet, he refused to tell the rest of the aliens the true story of what happened on the ship for like a month out of pure shame. it was. extremely funny.