Thats Actually So Hualian

thats actually so hualian

Even in Goat's realm, for some reason, Leshy has a little admirer following him around except he couldn't hear their praise or something. It's like Kitty is destined to be attracted to Leshy no matter what

if there’s a Leshy there’ll b a lil fella following him claiming to be his best most faithful most devoted follower, even if its in the world where Leshy got stuck with the dunce cap

after her throat was cut, did heket try to scream?

did she starve?

did she bleed?

after his eyes were taken, did leshy try to see?

did he cry?

did he bleed?

after his ears were taken, did kallamar try to hear?

did he strive?

did he fear?

after their mind was taken, did shamura try to shed a tear?

did they think?

did they fear?

five does not become four if they already were nothing.

"The day this kitten has a mortal spouse is the day the old faith falls!"

n-narilamb!?

baaa

screaming

sometimes its because i see something lovely

sometimes its because i say something unfortunate

sometimes its because i hear something wonderful

sometimes its because i think something awful

most times its because i do something unspeakable

but of course, i cannot scream here.

there are words and words and words to say.

much better to waste words on kindly nonsense than wordless worldless words.

so in dreams i scream

i scream for my eyes my throat my ears my mind my hands

bloodstained with thoughts i brought into existence

hands bloodied by their my our own doing

all these things i've done

perhaps i will be the blood that stains another's hands

what a comforting thought

Narinder returns to his bed. It is nighttime, and all are asleep, but he sleeps the latest of all, save for the Lamb. He cannot sleep when others are awake in case of the assassination attempts that he now fears.

He lays himself down, but finds that his pillow has a lump. Upon further inspection, it is a piece of wood and a knife. What?

Was someone trying to kill him, placing the knife under his pillow to cut him in his sleep?

He holds the wood and the knife. He is supposed to do something with this, isn't he? His hands shift, and he holds the knife with his thumb on the base of the blade, his hands moving on its own.

He knows not what he is doing. He knows not what he is creating, but it feels so good to do. He remembers shapes, built in wood, crafted in hours.

His hands shake. The nerves in his wrists and forearms are permanently damaged from the centuries he spent in godly handcuffs. Nonetheless he continues. It has been so long since he created, rather than destroyed, and it is addictive.

Some unknowable amount of time later, in his hands he holds a rough shape of his youngest brother. He holds it to his chest. But it is not enough.

He could sculpt life-size, detailed statues of his siblings in the past. It is not enough to have a small, rough shape. He needs more.

His hands shake as though the earth were moving beneath him. He carves out small details at first, then smaller and smaller, from the tiny horns to the crosses embedded in his skull. His hands shake harder.

In a tremble of his barely controlled hands, he snaps off the neck of the bishop.

He cannot create.

He buries his head in his useless, dead hands, and cries.

do you think leshy loved painting? do you think narinder hung every one on his wall?

do you think heket loved singing? do you think narinder loved hearing her sing?

do you think kallamar loved music? do you think narinder sat with him, listening to song after song written by the most skilled of his followers?

do you think shamura loved riddles? do you think narinder was stumped every time until they told him the answer?

do you think narinder loved whittling? do you think his family loved the small wooden versions he made of their crowns?

do you think they regret taking all that away?

five becomes four becomes three becomes two becomes one becomes Nothing.