I'm So Deeply In Love It Hurts Now. And Knowing I Can't Have You Makes The Pain Hurt More. Honestly Don't

I'm so deeply in love it hurts now. And knowing I can't have you makes the pain hurt more. Honestly don't know how long I can keep this up. I miss you already so much, come back to me.🥺

I can't keep doing this to myself. I feel so stupid, and depressed and ALL the negative emotions. I want it all to be over.

Yesterday when I hit rock bottom struggling with a bloody pounding headache I decided after work to take myself back to universal studios, and I didn't know they would be having the MACY'S HOLIDAY PARADE already, and that literally put a genuine smile on my face. And I'm grateful for universal studios always knowing how to make people feel just that much more happier, and add more to their photo albums and memories to their memory box, and I really felt much better when I left. Here are just a couple of the pics I took.

Who would I have to talk to have a meeting with and pay to get this done to my car?! 😮💯❤️✊🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

I'm dieing inside, why does this have to be so complicated? How is it even possible to be so deeply in love with someone you can't have? I'm trying to suppress my emotions and make it stop. But I'm finding it impossible. I want to cry it out until it's all out of my system and then I can get on with life. But I can't cry. My heart is breaking. How do you stop loving and caring and longing for someone you can't have? Especially when you have known the person for damn near 20 yrs, and Everytime your with one another the vibe is wonderful, your laughing together until your abs and face hurt, when you can have taco bell nights and watch multiple great horror flicks together and when your in his arms for cuddling, he "feels like home" the comfort level is 1000! He remembers the day the both of you met. It's special things like that, that makes it so bloody hard to let go. I wish my brain had a reboot button! My chest hurts from all this pain, I'm so tired of living like this. I hate being friend zoned all the time by the ones I have an interest in.

To be in an unrequited love with someone for over 10 years, (2003-present day) is the worst feeling in the fucking world. This is my curse. To always be in the position to be helplessly in revocably in love with a person who is willing to take everything from me but doesn't give even 1 single solitary thing back to me. I hate myself so much for it all

Angelique, you cannot love. That is your curse.

Dark Shadows (Tim Burton, 2012).