Feeling Alone - Tumblr Posts
lunch break, everyone is sitting at the same table and you're the only one sitting alone. I mean, I wouldn't sit to them, but it would have felt good if they would have offer it rather then ignoring me...
never felt so alone...
losing your best friend is a feeling you just can't even explain. It breaks you so much that you're just not the same after that...
sometimes I just don't wanna talk, at all
I mean...how could anyone possibly like someone like...me?
sometimes I'm having this feeling like they were just waiting for me to leave...
it's so humiliating when you gave so much from yourself, gave them endless chances, basically tried to understand why they have been treating you like shit, because your feelings were actually real and truly loved them unconditionally just it to end abruptly, because you finally found out what they have been doing behind your back the whole time...and the worst is that you was the one who HAD TO end it, because they gave you no other choice, because it could have been the same hamster wheel and you would have ended up even more broken than now..
And the feeling that they acted like they liked you, loved you and wanted to be with you when in reality they had no intention to do so is horrible. It makes you question EVERYTHING.
it's so heartbreaking to see that they became cold towards you, they have fun without you and you just sit there and have to watch them while feeling awful and left out, unwanted, abandoned. And they don't even care about your existence anymore...they replaced you...
seeing them with someone else, finally getting the truth by that but... it's a feeling that can't be explained. It goes deep. You feel everything at once. Brutal heartache.
kinda feels like I'm only there in people's lives to fill the void when their people is not there...
when you opened up for them even though you were terrified to do so and you finally believed someone actually likes you this time just to hear they moved on like you meant nothing while you were suffering in silence alone. And hearing from THEM hurts even more. Not sure they said in front of me to finally give me some clarity or just to hurt me one last time tho...
It hurts to see couples
It hurts to see couples. It hurts to see hands holding each other. It hurts to see lips kissing. It hurts to be a witness and never a perpetrator.
Never to have felt that kind of look on you, so radiant with happiness. It hurts to have all those memories that showed you that something about you just makes you not even a choice.
It hurts to be alone. I have no one to talk to about these feelings. I have no friends. I have no girls I could call and cry. I was already an outsider among my friends back then. I was just there. I was quickly replaced. I was feeling down and I wanted some distance. I canceled two meetings, because I didn't have the strength. After that, I was just out.
I have a family, but they wouldn't be any use for conversations like that. If I told my mother how I really felt, all I would hear is that I should just look for friends. Great advice from a woman with no friends. A vicious circle in generations. It wouldnβt be about my feelings, but what my mother thought of them.
I feel alone. I long for a loving and tender embrace. I long for someone to say: This little one belongs to me and I love her. I long for sweet lips that press against my skin and strong hands that touch me. I long for small affections. I would probably burst into tears if someone just hugged me.
It hurts to see what you never had.
ππππππ: π΄π π°ππππ ππ ππ ππππ.
Hace poco mientras caminaba por la calle vi un arbol con a penas unas cuantas hojas, unas hojas ya marchitas a punto de caer tambiΓ©n de el arbol.
Ya en casa, en la oscuridad de mi cuarto entre peluches y mantas empecΓ© a pensar en que la vida es un arbol y nosotros las hojas en el, me imagine como aquella hoja marchita que vi que a penas podia sostenerse a la rama.
En toda mi vida no e tenido muchos amigos en la vida real casi ninguno para ser exacto, mas en internet si e tenido muchos y aqui es la parte en donde pienso lo del Γ‘rbol.
Muchas veces veo a los amigos como un ciclo, siempre que los conozco se ven como unas personas geniales, gente buena en general, despues de conocerlos cada vez mas veo un lado mas humano, mas imperfectos lo cual no hace que deje de quererlos como amigos, pero siempre llegara una ventisca que se lleve las hojas de ese arbol...
ππππππ #13 (β Β β ο½₯ΰΈ±β οΉβ ο½₯ΰΈ±β )
Recently, while walking down the street, I saw a tree with just a few leaves, some already wilted and about to fall from the tree as well.
Back home, in the darkness of my room surrounded by stuffed animals and blankets, I started thinking that life is like a tree and we are the leaves on it. I imagined myself as that withered leaf I saw, barely able to hold onto the branch.
Throughout my life, I haven't had many friends in real life, almost none to be exact, but I've had many online. This is where I think about the tree analogy.
Often I see friends as a cycle. When I first meet them, they seem like great people, generally good folks. As I get to know them more, I see a more human side, more imperfections, which doesn't make me stop caring about them as friends. But there will always come a gust of wind that carries away the leaves from that tree...
("π²πππππ πππππ πππ πππππ ππππππ, ππππ ππππππ πππ π ππ πππππ πππππππππ")
ππππππ: π²πππππ ππππππ πππππ πππ ππππ ππ πππππππππππ?
π·πππ ππππ πππππ ππ ππππ ππππ ππ ππ ππππ ππ ππ πππππ π’ ππππ πππππππ πππ ππ πππππππΜπ ππ ππ ππππ ππ πππ ππππ, πππππππ ππ ππππ ππ πππ πππ πππ πππππ ππππππ π’ πππ ππππππ πππππππππππ ππ πππ ππππ ππππ ππππππ...
πΏπππ ππ πππ πππππ ππππππ ππππππ ππππππππ πππππππππ π ππππππππππ πππ π πππππ πππππππ£ππ, ππππππ πππππ£ππ π πππππππ πππππππππ π’ π ππππππ ππ πππ πππππ πππ πππ πππππππ ππ πππππππππ πππ ππππππ ππ πππππΜπ π’ πππππ ππ ππππ ππππ πππ ππ ππππππ ππππ πππ£ πππππ ππππππππππππ ππππππ πππ πππ πππππππ π’ ππ ππππ ππ ππΜπππππ πππ ππππππ π’ ππππππ.
π΄πππ πππ πππ πππππ ππππππ π πππππ πππππππ, πππ πππππππππ ππ ππ πππππππ£π, ππ ππ πππ‘πππ πππππππππ, πππ πππππ ππππππ πππ πππππππππππ ππ ππππππ πππ πππππ πππππππ πππ πππππππ.
π»π ππππππππ ππ ππππππππ πππππ: "ΒΏππππππ πππππππ ππππ πππππ πππ πππππππππππ?"
π°ππππππ ππππππππ ππππππ πππππ: "πππππ’ ππππππ πππ πππ ππππππ π’ π’π πππππππππ πππππππ ππππππ". πΏπππ, ΒΏππ ππππππππ ππ πππ? ΒΏπππππ πππ πππππππππ πππππππππ ππππππ πππππ π’ ππππ πππππππππππ?
π½π πππππππππ πππππππ ππππππ π’ ππ πππππππ πππ ππππ ππ ππππππππππ...
ππππππ #14 (β .β Β β ββ Β β α΄β Β β ββ .β )
ππππππππ’, πΈ ππππππ πππππ πππ , ππ ππ, ππππ ππ π ππππ, πππ πππππ’ ππππππ π ππ πππππππππππ π’ππ ππ π’πππ ππππ ππ π ππππ. πΈ π πππ ππππ πππππ π πππ πππππ ππππππ ππππ ππ ππ πππ ππππ πππππππππ πππππππ ππππ πππππππ πππ π πππ ππππππ...
ππ ππ, πππππ ππππππ π ππππ ππ πππππ πππππππππππ ππ πππππππππππππ ππππ πππ ππππ πππππππππ. ππππ πΈ ππππ πππππππ ππππππππ πππ, ππ πΈ ππππ ππ ππππ ππππππ, π ππππππ ππππ ππ πππππππππ πππ ππππππππππ ππππ π, π ππππ πππππ ππ ππππ ππππππππππππ’ ππππππ πππππππ ππππ π πππ ππππ ππππππ, ππππππππ π ππππππ πππ ππππππππ ππππ.
πππππ πππ πππ πππππ ππππππ ππ πππππππππ ππππππ, πππππππππππ ππ πππππ πππππππππ, ππ πππππ ππππ. ππππ'π π πππ πππ πππππππ πππ πππππ ππππ πππ ππππππππππ π πππ πππππ πππ.
πππ ππππ ππππππππ π ππππ ππ: 'π·ππ ππππ π πππ πππππ ππππππ ππππ π ππππππ π ππππππππ?'
πππ ππππ ππππππππ π ππππ ππ: 'π·ππ ππππ π πππ πππππ ππππππ ππππ π ππππππ π πππππππ? π³π ππππ’ ππππ π πππ ππππππππ ππππ’ πππππ ππππ πππ πππ ππ πππππ ππππ?
ππ ππ πππ ππππ πππ ππππππ, πππ π π ππ πππ ππππ π ππππ ππππ π πππ π πππππ...
("ππ πππ, πππ πππππ ππ ππ πππππππππ")
ππππππ: πππ ππππ ππππππππ
π·πππ π’ππ ππππ ππππ π ππππ π ππππππππ?
πππππ πππ πππππππππ ππ ππππ’ πππππ. πΏπππππππππ’, ππππ’ πππ ππππ πππππππππ ππ πππ ππππ π πππ π’ππ πππ πππ πππππ ππππππ πππππππππ’ πππππππ. πΈπ ππππ πππππππππ, ππππππ ππππ πππππ’ πππππππ ππππ πππ πππππ ππ ππππ ππππππ, ππ ππ πππππ ππππ'π π πππ πΈ'ππ ππππ.
πΈ π πππ ππππ πππππ πππππ ππππ ππππππ, πππ π πππππππ ππππππ ππππ πππ πππππ ππ ππππ ππ πππππππ ππππ πππππππ’ ππππππ πππ πππ ππ ππππππ ππ π’πππ ππππ ππ ππππ πππ πππππππ ππππ πππ πππ π πππ π’ππ ππππ ππππ πππ πππ π’πππ ππππ.
ππ ππ, πππ π πππππππ ππππππ πππ πππππ ππππππ π ππ ππππ ππππ π’πππ ππππ πππ ππππππ ππππ ππππ. πΎπ π’πππ ππππ ππ ππππ, π πππππππππ πππ πππππππ’ ππππ ππ πππππππππππππ ππ ππππππππππ ππππ , πππ ππππ ππππ π ππ'π πππ ππ’π ππππ’ ππ’ π’πππ ππππ...
πππ πππππππ π πππ ππππ ππ’ππ ππ ππππππ ππ ππππ ππππ’ πππ πππππππ’ π πππππππ, πππππππ, ππππ. ππππ’ πππ πππ ππππππ π ππ πππ ππππππππ π’ππ ππππππππ πππ πππ ππππππ’ ππ ππππ ππππ π’πππ ππππ ππ ππππ ππππ. πππππ ππππππ πππππ ππ, πππ ππ‘πππππ, πππππππ π ππ πππππ πππππ πππ ππ ππππππππ ππ πππππ ππππππππ ππππππ π’ππ ππππ π ππ'π ππππ’ π πππ π’ππ πππ ππππ. ππππ ππππππ πππππ, πππ πππππ ππππππ π πππ ππππ, πππ ππππ πππππππππ ππππ π πππ ππ ππππππ ππππ πππππ ππππππ ππππ ππππ ππ πππππππ’...
Tomoko #15 (ΰ²°β Β β ~β Β β ΰ²°β )
π·ππ πππππ ππππππ πππ£ π ππ πππππ πππππππππππ?
π»ππ πππππππ πππ πππππππ ππ ππππππ πππππ, ππ ππ ππππππππ πππ πππ πππππππ ππ ππππΜπ ππππππ ππππππ πππ ππππ πππ πππππ ππππ ππππ π ππππ πππππ ππ πππππππ ππππππ π ππ πππππ ππ πππππ ππππ£ππππ ππ ππππ πππππ πππππππ ππ πππ πππππππ, π πππ ππ πππππ πππ π πππππ.
π·ππππππ ππ ππππ πππππ πππππππ, πππ πππππ πππππππππ πππ πππππ π πππππ ππ ππππ π πππ ππππππ£ π’π πππππππ π’ πππππππ ππ πππππ ππ ππ πππππ ππ ππ ππππ πππ πππππππ πππ πππ πππππππ ππππππ πππππ πππππ πππππ π’ πππ ππ ππππππ.
πΏπππ ππ, πππ πππππ πππππππππ πππ ππππππππ ππππππππ πππ ππππππππ π ππ ππππ π’ ππππππππ ππ πππππ ππππππππ, ππ ππ πππππ ππ ππ ππππ ππππππΜ πππ ππππππ π’ ππππ ππππ ππ ππππππΜπΜπ π πππππππ, ππππ πππ ππππ ππ πππππππ ππ πππππππ π ππ ππππ...
π΄π ππππππππ πππ ππππ ππππ ππ πππππ ππ πππ π’π πππππ πππππππππ, πππΜππππ, πππππππ, πππ πππ.ππππππππ πππ ππ πππππ ππππ’ππππ πππππππππ π’ πππ πππππππππππ πππππ ππππ‘ππππ π ππππππ ππ ππ πππππ ππ ππ ππππ, ππππ ππππ ππ πππππ ππππππ πππ πππππππ: ππππ ππππππ πππ ππ πππππππ πππ πππππππππ π ππππππππ ππππππππ ππππππππππ πππ πππππ πππ ππ πππππππ πππππ ππππππ πππππππ π’ ππππππ ππππππ ππ ππππΜπ, πππππ ππππ πππππ ππππππ π’ πππππ πππππ πππππππ π’π ππ ππππππ ππππ πππππ πππ ππ ππππππ ππππππΜπΜπ...
("π΄ππππ πππππππππ π πππ π πππππ πππ πππππ ππππ?")
πππππ: π°ππππ!!! πΌπ’ ππ’π!!!
πΈ πππ ππ’ ππ’π πππ ππ ππππππ’ πππππ. πΈ πππ'π ππππ ππ ππππππππ’ ππ πππ’πππππ ππππ ππππ. πΈπ π πππ'π π ππππ’ πππππππππππ πππ’, ππππππππ’. πΈπ'π ππππ ππππ ππππ ππππππ ππππ ππ π πππππ ππ πΈ'π πππππ ππππππ πππππ ππ πππ.
ππππππ #17 (β β β βΏβ ββ )
πΌπ ππππππ ππ πππ π’ πππππ πππ πππππ, ππ πππππ πππππππ πππ ππππππππππ ππ ππππ ππππππππ,ππ ππππππ ππ πππ ππ πππ πππ’ πππππππππππ, ππππ πππ πππ’ πππππ πππ ππ πππππ ππππππππ ππ ππ πππππ’ ππππππππ πππ πππππ ππππ π ππ
("π΄π ππππππππ ππ ππππππ ππππππππ")
As much as I love the woman I have , being in a polyamorous relationship is quite the struggle , they've both gone out for the night to a quiz and to meet his wife and I wasn't allowed to go " its nothing to do with me " as my gf said the other day , so now I'm at home alone with no friends , only family is my mum who's not a big talker and I feel so fucking alone , I feel like I wouldn't be missed If I wasn't here , I have battled depression for so fucking long and the last few years before I met my gf I was in a terrible state , I wouldnt be here now if it wasn't for her , but at this very moment in time I don't feel like I'm worth the air π π’ π
Sometimes healing is leaving a bunch of social circles and only talking to the people who cared enough to message you. I see now how little I matter to people who claimed to be my friends, I despise being lied to like this.
The circles became toxic and I only stuck around for the few people I liked. It seems I miss them, but they don't miss me.
