Well Scratch That Last Post About My 1st Real Date Nonsense. Considering The Fact The Guy Finally Told

Well scratch that last post about my 1st real date nonsense. Considering the fact the guy finally told me the truth this evening. He actually already has a girlfriend. But he's being indecisive about her. And its showing too. Because he doesn't want to let me go now that we've met, yet he flips his words and basically friend zones me and says we wouldn't last long. Makes assumptions in regards to my son and him and his real dad, if something were to happen to me. Says one day he wants kids of his own, but with me being in my late 30s that won't be possible by the time he feels he's finally ready for a kid. I knew deep down inside this was just yet another big fat joke. A big fat waste of time. My life journey/path dangles a good prospect right in front of me only to yank it away forever. This is what I get for enjoying myself and opening up. Back to shutting down again.

MESSAGE!!!!🔊🔊💯

Why You Should Always Use Your Best Now Instead of Saving it for Later

🌹 Because you deserve to feel your best every day, not just on occasions.

🌹 Because "later" rarely comes.

🌹 Because you're just wasting your own money if you buy some high-quality makeup or skincare products just for them to expire barely used because you wanted to save them for an occasion.

🌹 Because life is unpredictable. What if a guest drops by unexpectedly and you're eating from a chipped plate or a tupperware container? What if you see your ex, or your crush, or meet the love of your life, or see your boss, or see someone who was mean to you in school, and you're wearing a worn-out hoodie and sweatpants with a hole? Many of us would feel self-conscious if something like that happened, but it can be avoided if you wear nice clothes and use your good china instead of keeping it hidden away for some possible future special event.

🌹 Because what's the point in having beautiful floral china, just for it to gather dust while you eat off of chipped plates and mismatched mugs? What's the point in owning silk blouses and cashmere jumpers, just for them to stay in your closet for months or years while you wear ratty t-shirts and sweatpants? What's the point in buying high quality makeup, just for it to spoil while you wear cheap stuff that's hard to put on and makes your face look cakey? Why own beautiful belongings just for them to never see the light of day?

🌹 Because using your best every day will show that you genuinely live well, instead of coming across as a phony when you meet the Joneses.

🌹 Because it's sad, after someone passes away, to see their fancy china, beautiful clothes, and other treasures in storage, rarely or never used, always waiting for an occasion that never came. If you won't use your best, who will? Life is short.

🌹 Because using your best everyday doesn't have to mean that special occasions will feel less special. Instead of only bringing out the good dinnerware for guests, use it everyday, but make occasions feel different with a spectacular floral arrangement, or with classical music on in the background instead of the TV. Wear your good foundation and mascara everyday, but wear a bolder makeup look for an event.

🌹 Because people's tastes change throughout the years. What if you buy something, keep it for later, and by the time later comes, you don't like it at all anymore?

🌹 Because special occasions still feel special even when you don’t use your best for them.

🌹 Because using beautiful items instead of settling for mediocrity elevates a normal day from feeling mundane to feeling decadent and luxurious.

Wear your good makeup. Wear your chic clothes. Put on your good skincare products. Doodle in your pretty notebooks. Burn your fancy candles. Spray your expensive perfume. Drink the expensive gifted wine. Eat the gourmet chocolates. Live in the now, not the uncertain future. Honour yourself by allowing yourself to use these special treasures.

😄

So I went on my 1st REAL date today after 4 years of being a hermit crab and only taking my baby out places. Aaaand I'm not going to lie this dude is shocking me and coming at me at ALL angles with impressivness. However im internally scared and nervous. Like the old saying goes, "if its to good to be true....then it most likely is." And that means to RUN! Then there is the last thing my old neighbor said to me before she died, "it doesn't matter how long you've been together with someone, YOU WILL NEVER REALLY KNOW THAT PERSON." And it hit home with me because this society has gotten so self absorbed/selfish/ and greedy and narcissistic that the person you spend your life with could be withholding old ass skeletons in their closet they will take to their graves and you will have been played and manipulated a d never really loved all that time. Yet they smiled in your face all those years and had no trouble with sexing you though right? So its all those deep around the clock thoughts that made me keep to myself and made me terrified of opening back up to humans. But this new prospect has me deep thinking about actually wanting to be open to a "relationship" plus he's uber attractive. He has dimples even!😣😤😩 lord knows im a sucker for dimples! Whats worse for me is I dont know if he is God sent and actually someone im supposed to open up to and let in, OR if he's demon sent and just another narcissist trying to charm his way into my life to take advantage of me. 🤔😫😖 and not knowing the end result, not being a psychic to see that far into the future drives me crazy.😭😓 all I know is he's THE 1ST MAN that actually made me nervous, he called me out on my sped up heart rate when he asked to hold my hand, AND again when he noticed me trembling. no man Has EVER made me do that before! I'm stunned! What does that even mean? What if he's the one? What if im supposed to open up to him? Oh geez there goes that big fat floating "WHAT IF".

SPICE WORLD — 1997, dir. Bob Spiers 

And this is why I stay to myself now. Because clearly everyone who WAS in my life isn't here now... So what's that say about them? And this quote? They clearly didn't give a flying fuck about when I was sad. Or needed a shoulder. But boy oh boy did they turn to me when they needed something though right.... All my friendships and relationships were one sided. So to hell with it then. 🤷🏾‍♀️

“How someone reacts to your sadness says a lot about how long they’re going to be in your life.”

— blossomfully