Supersonicob - POISON

😄

So on Monday when I took myself to universal studios right after work, I ran into this lady. ISN'T SHE JUST THE PRETTIEST? LOOK AT THAT "ANGELIC PRETTY" DRESS SHE HAS! I low-key wish I was her friend so we could chat ALL things fashion. I don't know if she is a local or was just visiting the park on a vacation. I didn't want to get all in her business. But I LOVE ALL the lolita clothing brands there is. I have 1 Lolita Gothic dress I bought from this girl I follow on Instagram and YouTube. She's from Sweden and her name is "Victoria Lovelace". I need a seamstress to fix it for me. Because I bought it from her before I got pregnant and didn't have the other pieces to wear with it. (Like a blouse,or headband) so I wanted to search online for it. Anyways after I had my son I decided to just go for it. My mom gave me her PERFECT Black blouse with a long layered tail (I obviously would tuck into the dress) and I had found my black fingerless lace gloves with silk lace on the back of the gloves to tie into a bow(think like how shoelaces look in sneakers) and I have all kinds of thigh high stockings already. So I tried it all on just to find out I CANT ZIP UP THE BACK OF THE DRESS! I CANT EVEN WEAR IT! I WAS SO SAD! ITS A GORGEOUS DRESS. ILL HAVE TO POST IT. But seeing this cool ass chick at the theme park Monday is motivating me to find a seamstress to fix my dress faster so I CAN WEAR WHAT I BOUGHT. GEEZ I WISH I could find more like-minded people here in Orlando to hang out with who are not scared to wear Lolita dresses, and we can have tea time and eat sweets, and be superior to everyone else.😁 (Because we conduct ourselves as well dressed respectable women/princesses and not cliche typical average plain Janes, with their behinds out). 😁💯

That's what I like most and respect most about women who dress this way..... They are the women who understand that they don't have to wear tight ass pants, or mini skirts, shirts that are centimeter's away from popping a boob. Women who dress this way are comfortable with who they are, comfortable being in their skin, brave, has courage and plus they look super cool and pretty in these designer dresses. If I had a daughter, I would SOOOOOOOO be okay and onboard with her dressing in Lolita dresses. I don't care which subgenre it is. I'd be ecstatic to see her look like a princess and not a slut. You only receive bad negative males when you show your body off. (and I speak from personal experience with that statement.) Yes I know Lolita brands are expensive, but I don't even care. I would have found a way to get it for my daughter if I had one. But alas I was gifted a son. So in my case I have no problem with dressing him up like a prince/better yet a KING! Men have the best clothes I've seen, ESPECIALLY in the gothic scene. The dressy button up shirts, the coats, the shoes, awww man sometimes I wish I was born a male so I could show off all that cool fashion. 😭💯 But being a woman is fun too, I have fun dressing up. AND BEST PART TOO IS I WORK AT A PLACE WHERE I COULD WEAR LOLITA DRESSES IF I WANTED TOO. I CAN WEAR MY GOTHIC ATTIRE. and I appreciate that so much. If there are any alternatives in Orlando who need a hang out partner to play dress up with. Don't be shy, hit me up and let's be friends. Okay? Okay! (man this post was somewhat long)😁😊🤷🏾‍♀️

Well scratch that last post about my 1st real date nonsense. Considering the fact the guy finally told me the truth this evening. He actually already has a girlfriend. But he's being indecisive about her. And its showing too. Because he doesn't want to let me go now that we've met, yet he flips his words and basically friend zones me and says we wouldn't last long. Makes assumptions in regards to my son and him and his real dad, if something were to happen to me. Says one day he wants kids of his own, but with me being in my late 30s that won't be possible by the time he feels he's finally ready for a kid. I knew deep down inside this was just yet another big fat joke. A big fat waste of time. My life journey/path dangles a good prospect right in front of me only to yank it away forever. This is what I get for enjoying myself and opening up. Back to shutting down again.

I love this post a lot. And its things I also need to put into affect starting tonight. My toddler is ALWAYS correcting me when I curse. So for the sake of him I will stop cursing. If other people can watch their language then I don't have any excuse now do I? 😊💯

things i’m no longer doing for the rest of 2023

using inappropriate language this goes beyond just cursing; it also includes making dark jokes, making “seggsual” innuendos, self-deprecating humor, and verbal negativity (gossip and saying negative things about self, others, or future plans).

allowing men to take up my time without them giving any type of investment in me my time is valuable, and it’s hard to gain complete access to me, let alone a little bit of access to me. phone calls will be cut short, texts won’t be too lengthy, and if they want to see me, they need to schedule and confirm a date with me.

accepting the bare minimum from not only others, but myself also everything i do from this moment forward needs to be 110% my best. i show up, i work my best, and i leave knowing that i did everything i could in that given time. i’m not leaving any room for regrets this year.

drinking alcohol because of my job in the nightlife industry, i find myself to drink a lot more than i should to help me get through the night. i usually feel gross the next day, it adds to any mental hardships i face, and it’s just not good for my body overall. the only times i will drink this year is if it’s my birthday, new year’s eve, or any other special occasion like a holiday or a special person’s birthday— if so, i’m limiting myself to one glass of high quality wine or champagne. tequila and any other spirit is an absolute “no” for me.

not keeping promises to myself if i say that i’m going to do something, i’m going to do it. i need to build trust with myself and that will allow me to also have more positive thoughts about myself and trust that whatever it is i want in life, i’ll have it because i’m used to keeping promises to myself.

That part!

Say it again

“You will not recognize me. This time, I put my pieces back differently.”

— Malia Makana, Like Differently Love