So On Monday When I Took Myself To Universal Studios Right After Work, I Ran Into This Lady. ISN'T SHE

So on Monday when I took myself to universal studios right after work, I ran into this lady. ISN'T SHE JUST THE PRETTIEST? LOOK AT THAT "ANGELIC PRETTY" DRESS SHE HAS! I low-key wish I was her friend so we could chat ALL things fashion. I don't know if she is a local or was just visiting the park on a vacation. I didn't want to get all in her business. But I LOVE ALL the lolita clothing brands there is. I have 1 Lolita Gothic dress I bought from this girl I follow on Instagram and YouTube. She's from Sweden and her name is "Victoria Lovelace". I need a seamstress to fix it for me. Because I bought it from her before I got pregnant and didn't have the other pieces to wear with it. (Like a blouse,or headband) so I wanted to search online for it. Anyways after I had my son I decided to just go for it. My mom gave me her PERFECT Black blouse with a long layered tail (I obviously would tuck into the dress) and I had found my black fingerless lace gloves with silk lace on the back of the gloves to tie into a bow(think like how shoelaces look in sneakers) and I have all kinds of thigh high stockings already. So I tried it all on just to find out I CANT ZIP UP THE BACK OF THE DRESS! I CANT EVEN WEAR IT! I WAS SO SAD! ITS A GORGEOUS DRESS. ILL HAVE TO POST IT. But seeing this cool ass chick at the theme park Monday is motivating me to find a seamstress to fix my dress faster so I CAN WEAR WHAT I BOUGHT. GEEZ I WISH I could find more like-minded people here in Orlando to hang out with who are not scared to wear Lolita dresses, and we can have tea time and eat sweets, and be superior to everyone else.😁 (Because we conduct ourselves as well dressed respectable women/princesses and not cliche typical average plain Janes, with their behinds out). 😁💯

That's what I like most and respect most about women who dress this way..... They are the women who understand that they don't have to wear tight ass pants, or mini skirts, shirts that are centimeter's away from popping a boob. Women who dress this way are comfortable with who they are, comfortable being in their skin, brave, has courage and plus they look super cool and pretty in these designer dresses. If I had a daughter, I would SOOOOOOOO be okay and onboard with her dressing in Lolita dresses. I don't care which subgenre it is. I'd be ecstatic to see her look like a princess and not a slut. You only receive bad negative males when you show your body off. (and I speak from personal experience with that statement.) Yes I know Lolita brands are expensive, but I don't even care. I would have found a way to get it for my daughter if I had one. But alas I was gifted a son. So in my case I have no problem with dressing him up like a prince/better yet a KING! Men have the best clothes I've seen, ESPECIALLY in the gothic scene. The dressy button up shirts, the coats, the shoes, awww man sometimes I wish I was born a male so I could show off all that cool fashion. 😭💯 But being a woman is fun too, I have fun dressing up. AND BEST PART TOO IS I WORK AT A PLACE WHERE I COULD WEAR LOLITA DRESSES IF I WANTED TOO. I CAN WEAR MY GOTHIC ATTIRE. and I appreciate that so much. If there are any alternatives in Orlando who need a hang out partner to play dress up with. Don't be shy, hit me up and let's be friends. Okay? Okay! (man this post was somewhat long)😁😊🤷🏾‍♀️

Im done trying.

If you're not treated right, your first response should not be "let me prove how valuable I actually am, they just don't see it yet". That mindset is toxic and you're going about it the wrong way. Instead, your response should be "they don't see my value, that's on them. Clearly, we don't resonate. I have nothing to prove. Time to replace them with something/someone who does". Your response should be walking away from anything that is not nourishing your spirit.

ALONE! THATS WHERE.

So I went on my 1st REAL date today after 4 years of being a hermit crab and only taking my baby out places. Aaaand I'm not going to lie this dude is shocking me and coming at me at ALL angles with impressivness. However im internally scared and nervous. Like the old saying goes, "if its to good to be true....then it most likely is." And that means to RUN! Then there is the last thing my old neighbor said to me before she died, "it doesn't matter how long you've been together with someone, YOU WILL NEVER REALLY KNOW THAT PERSON." And it hit home with me because this society has gotten so self absorbed/selfish/ and greedy and narcissistic that the person you spend your life with could be withholding old ass skeletons in their closet they will take to their graves and you will have been played and manipulated a d never really loved all that time. Yet they smiled in your face all those years and had no trouble with sexing you though right? So its all those deep around the clock thoughts that made me keep to myself and made me terrified of opening back up to humans. But this new prospect has me deep thinking about actually wanting to be open to a "relationship" plus he's uber attractive. He has dimples even!😣😤😩 lord knows im a sucker for dimples! Whats worse for me is I dont know if he is God sent and actually someone im supposed to open up to and let in, OR if he's demon sent and just another narcissist trying to charm his way into my life to take advantage of me. 🤔😫😖 and not knowing the end result, not being a psychic to see that far into the future drives me crazy.😭😓 all I know is he's THE 1ST MAN that actually made me nervous, he called me out on my sped up heart rate when he asked to hold my hand, AND again when he noticed me trembling. no man Has EVER made me do that before! I'm stunned! What does that even mean? What if he's the one? What if im supposed to open up to him? Oh geez there goes that big fat floating "WHAT IF".

Say it again

“You will not recognize me. This time, I put my pieces back differently.”

— Malia Makana, Like Differently Love

Truer words have never been spoken. This one right here is the best! 💯

“Why should I get my hands dirty to destroy you? When all I had to do is sit down and watch you destroy yourself.”

— “Layers of Me” from Repressed Feelings by anastasiasyah