The Only Feeling I Have Is Rage.

The only feeling I have is rage.

Fellas, is it gay?

Sometimes murder is the only option.

My friend and I: *make eye contact*

Friend: Imagine being a dinosaur.

*proceeds to launch into the most heart wrenching story about a dinosaur losing its favorite bush as the earth slowly tears down the middle*

Me: nodding along somberly

Everyone else: …what.

Friend and I: The Continental Drift.

Sometimes a friend group is made up of three nicknames. Babygirl, bestie, and bitch.

My mother found my biology textbook and proceeded to spend the next two minutes remarking on how nice and beautiful it was