First Post, Just Wanted To Show My Newest Attempt At Drawing The Rivulet

First post, just wanted to show my newest attempt at drawing the Rivulet

Happy Trans Visibility Week everyone from the Prettiest Platypus!

An urgent warning for all my queer homies: there are malicious, false ads circulating on social media for HRT supplements designed to gather a list of trans people and their addresses.

Along with just being useless sugar pill supplements. Fun all around, right?

A good reminder to be vigilant about where you seek out gender affirming care, especially if you live in a suppressive state like I do. Source your supplies and care from reputable queer support groups and always do your research before doing business with an unfamiliar supplier.

It sucks ass that anyone has to be this vigilant, but this is where we are unfortunately. Be aware, not scared. That’s always been my policy, and I will do my part to keep the community informed when something dangerous arises. Stay safe, y’all.

Why would you choose to be a streamer?

Some say for fortune

Some for the smiles

Some for the fame

Me?

I want to be able to see the intricate web that spirals out from what I make. The ever growing mycelium that branches and branches and branches from the base idea that I could try to plant. The ideas and joys that come from admiring and watching the content. The inspirations that soon lead to more and more ideas from other individuals. The wondrous joys that could save some from the gloominess that so often pollutes the content that most watch.

I want to become someone who could help so many others into a joyous community. I want to become someone who helps others through simple silly videos and streams.

That is why I want to try to stream one day.

Not for fame or money, but for the people it could help and the greater ideas that could sprout from it.

I hate this feeling. I hate what others might say about it. This forsaken curse that makes me incompatible with the flesh suit I was born with.

I hate dysphoria. I hate it when people around the world say "it can't be that bad"

And in some cases they're right. In some cases it isn't that bad. But it's when they're wrong that dysphoria gets dangerous.

That urge that can turn to violence or sadness or both.

The urge to crush and fracture the skeleton that makes your body shaped the way it is.

The urge to skin yourself so you don't have to look wrong.

The urge to remove yourself from the equation all together so that you can try to free yourself from this feeling that you aren't in the right body.

Waking up feeling like you're possessing a stranger's skin.

Being misgendered.

Simply existing and having a thought occur that makes you wish that you could simply give up or make everything fix.

If I were in a different state I wouldn't have had to wait another year. But here I am in one of only two US States that don't view people as adults until they are 19.

One more year after this one.

One more long fucking year.

I hate this vessel I am trapped within.

I hate waking up and feeling disconnected from the very skin that portrays my being.

I want to cut all the skin off. I want to shatter every bone and destroy every last atom of the genes that forced me to develop this way.

Sometimes it's not this hard. But today it's harder than I could imagine. The only thing keeping me from desecrating this flesh suit is the knowledge that deep down, it won't change a thing and it won't make anything better.

So now all I can do is wait.

Wait until I'm old enough to actually make an impact to alter my being.

Wait until I can actually look at myself in the mirror and see me.

Wait until I can actually feel happy and like I'm inhabiting my own skin, for more than simply a week at most