The Roses Are Dead, The Violets Are Too, The Sugar Is Burnt, And Your House Is Too.

The roses are dead, the violets are too, the sugar is burnt, and your house is too.

Reality is a simulation. Just walk across to it. Do it

I like to think of Jason roasting Dick and Bruce for fun.

“B, c’mon. You’re a thirty something that decided to dress as a bat and beat people up instead of going to therapy and dealing with the mess that is your mental health/state.”

“Dick, you thought ‘traffic lights make the perfect color combo!’ And addded pixie boots for some reason, and thought, ‘this is great!’ You have the taste of a four year old and the foresight of comfort at the back of your mind.’

Because of the rivalry between Gotham and Metropolis, there arose a saying in Gotham, ‘don’t be like a Metropolis citizen’. It basically translates to ‘don’t be a little bitch’.

Superman was not happy to hear about this. Especially from Red Hood trying to talk to a guy causing problems.

Aqua man teaches him about marine life and their respective habitats.

Wonder Woman teaches him mythology.

Cyborg teaches him computer science and hacking.

JLA/DC Headcanon

When the Justice League found out that Shazam was a 10 year old boy they decided to teach him things about their jobs.

-Batman teaches him about business -Superman teaches him about handling criticism and to pay attention to detail (Yes you need these skills to be a journalist) -Flash teaches him chemistry and biology and forensic analyst -Wonder woman teaches him all about greek mythology

Billy knows all this information about stock markets and other jobs he shouldn’t even know exist and his teachers are always so surprised (His teachers are more horrified when he brings up something about forensics because he usually involves a dead body with it)

He loves science and math but hates his classes because they aren’t as fun as when Bruce and Barry teach them

~~~Feel free to add~~~

I’ve gotten into a Billy Batson craze recently. Mostly just him being a teen and cussing and being a little shit. It’s so funny to me, especially with the league.

I especially love the creator kathkin on ao3, just perfect Billy Batson.

Anyway, I thought about Robin Jason meeting Billy. Batman would introduce them and immediately be like, ‘I’ve made a mistake’.

Two street kids bonding and stealing shit together, roasting everyone, and just living the feral child life.