The-describerrrrr - I Describe - Tumblr Blog

hey y'all. i was morosely flipping through a sketchbook and found my magnum opus tucked in the back. this is 100% the best thing ive ever made and i gotta share it. behold: baby isopod. may it brighten your day as it did mine.

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'We now have a second moon!' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]

The asteroid 2024 PT5 will orbit earth for approximately 2 months until November 25. According to NASA this temporary capture will start right at this moment (September 29, 19:54 UTC) if tumblr queued this right. source link

Imagine The Fellowship all sitting around the campfire halfway up Caradhras retelling the events of the Hobbit to Boromir and Aragorn Rashomon-style with Gimli going "my dad tells it this way" and Legolas going "well, my dad tells it this way" and the Hobbits all going "but Bilbo tells it this way!" and, even though Gandalf was fucking there for half of it, he refuses to weigh in on anything because watching them argue is more fun and also he doesn't remember because it was over 75 years ago.

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[video ID: a mother caracal and her kittens resting under the shade of a tree. the mother yawns really big. one of the kittens then yawns as well. mom then starts grooming the kitten. end ID]

Yawning is so contagious

(Source)

[video ID: an orange cat laying on top of a person, kneeding into their sweater. the person is laughing hysterically. the cat then looks into the camera and quacks. the person filming loses it even more. end ID]

[video ID: a tiktok by @/pippa.nich, where a video of a cat meowing is being looped back and forth in a video editor to make it look like the cat is bobbing its head and singing to "the way you make me feel" by michael jackson. end ID]

I think Tumblr will love this

[video ID: six cats on a memory foam bed, all intensely focused on something that's swinging above the camera. they're all staring up with wide pupils, following it with their heads, swinging their tails, and chattering. one tries to jump up to catch it twice but ends up landing on another cat, but this other cat doesn't lose focus. end ID]

[gif ID: various gifs of the same brown tabby cat hitting, pawing at and booping the camera. end ID]

hitting and smacking you moodboard

[video ID: a black cat watching a bar gymnast on tv. the gymnast is swinging around in circles and the cat is watching intently. at the exact moment the cat taps the screen, the gymnast loses grip and falls. end ID]

transcription, note that the text is cut off at the start and end but I'm cutting that out for clarity:

My experience has been that doctors will give you a clear-cut, understandable diagnosis only if you wander in with, say, an ice pick protruding from your skull. And even then, you have to pretend that you don't know what's wrong. If you say, "I have an ice pick in my skull," the doctor will become irritated, because he spent all those years in medical school and he's damned if he's going to accept opinions from an untrained layperson such as yourself. "It conceivably could be an ice pick," he'll say, in a tone of voice that suggest he's talking to a very stupid sheep, "but just in case I'm going to arrange for a test in which we remove a little snippet of your liver every week for eight weeks." end transcription.

why does talking to a doctor always feel like ur trying to prove u have something and they're just trying to prove u wrong

[image ID: cutely drawn digital art of a seal laying on a rock, wearing a pink sweater and bow on it's head. it's saying: "Marriage equality isn't achieved until disabled people can marry without losing their benefits." the artist's tag "Sophie Labelle" is in the bottom right corner. end ID]

[video ID: various clips of a cat sprinting towards a bean bag and jumping right into it. the bean bag is very squishy and the cat sinks almost completely into it with it's tail sticking straight up. end ID]

thank you to whoever made this meme, it's a big hit in the lab and sends microbiologists into hysterics

[video ID: a black cat meowing. except there's no meow, just a little croak. the person filming is talking to the cat: "what? what is your problem? always in here showing off your four fangs." the cat does, in fact, have four pretty impressive canines. end ID]

blackkittycrew

"what? what is your problem?? always in here showing off your four fangs >:("

[image ID: a set of pictures of a white cat. on the first, two fist emojis obscure the cat's face. in the second, the hands have opened and there's sparkles and hearts, revealing the persian cat's incredibly crusty face. end ID]

[image ID: a pixelated character holding a gun in their hand, then pointing it to their own face. end ID]

realtalk: i can’t wait for AI to get better to the point where you can have a legit conversation with your computer or phone just for the heck of it imagine how innocent they’d be, and like they don’t know what swearing is until you teach them then they go overboard with it like a child and hhHHHG

[video ID: two cats on a table. there is a big mirror on the wall, and one cat is getting ready to jump towards it. when the other cat notices it goes up to it and paws at it's shoulder, as if to stop it. the jumping cat ignores this and takes the jump, and smacks face first into the window. end ID]

[ID: a video of a large frog sitting by the edge of a pond. the person filming is offering a worm to the frog, holding their hand next to it. the frog turns towards the person, stares for a while, then jumps straight towards the camera with it's mouth open. the screen goes black, and the dark souls "you died" screen appears. end ID]

[image ID: a calico cat hanging upside down from a door frame, using all 4 of it's paws. end ID]l

[video ID: a cat licking a bowl of kibble as the text "Why does he need a slow feeder?" flashes on screen. the cat then opens it's mouth wide to take a really big bite, digging into the kibble, making it spill all over. several more short clips of the cat doing this are shown. the video ends with a clip of the cat laying sprawled on it's back, looking at the camera. end ID]

I'm going to spam posts a bit as I go and copy paste the descriptions I've made on my main blog to post them here.

I made a sideblog to describe stuff on so I can describe things I come across without always having to put them on my main blog. I will also be reblogging other people's descriptions to here. I'll only be active sporadically though whenever I have the energy for this.

you can send me posts you want described through the asks!

if you see me reblog things without a description attached, that was a mistake! either I forgot to switch back to main or accidentally published something that was meant to be stored in my drafts.

[image ID: a tweet from @/veeveeveeveevee saying: When Notre Dame caught fire in Paris that's all I heard about for days but when the third oldest church on earth is bombed to rubble it's crickets it's a reply to a tweet from @/DrKarimWafa saying: Church of St. Porphyrius in Gaza before and after. Attached are a picture from inside the church showing the beautiful architecture, and a picture of what it looks like now, a pile of rubble. end ID]