Shits

Shits

​​Lockwood: *Is a skilled shit*

Lucy: *Is an angry shit*

George: *Is a smart shit*

Skull:*Doesn't give a shit*

Leo has a surprise! pt1

Leo: Hey, guys, I have a surprise for you. Piper: What is it, Leo? Leo: I made a new invention. It’s called the Leo-nator. Jason: The Leo-nator? What does it do? Leo: It does everything. It can fly, shoot lasers, play music, make popcorn, and more. It’s the ultimate machine. Frank: Wow, Leo, that sounds amazing. Hazel: Yeah, Leo, that sounds awesome. Leo: Thanks, guys. Do you want to see it in action? Piper: Sure, Leo, show us what it can do. Leo: Okay, follow me. *leads them to a large metal contraption*  Jason: Is that the Leo-nator? Leo: Yep. Isn’t it beautiful? Frank: Um…Leo…it looks like a giant trash can with wings and wires. Hazel: And it smells like burnt rubber and gasoline. Leo: Don’t worry about that. That’s just the aroma of genius. Now watch this. presses a button  Leo-nator: *explodes*

You wouldn't?

scrolling bsd listings on ebay n stuff is so funny who out here wanting to buy 25 akutagawa mochis

Aggressively breaks fourth wall

Percy: Hey, Annabeth, do you want to go to the movies with me? Annabeth: Sure, Percy, that sounds nice. What movie do you want to see? Percy: How about The Lightning Thief? Annabeth: … Percy: What? Is something wrong? Annabeth: Percy, you do realize that movie is based on our lives, right? Percy: Yeah, so? Annabeth: So, it’s terrible. It’s inaccurate, boring, and insulting. It’s an abomination that should never have been made. Percy: Oh. Well, then how about Sea of Monsters? Annabeth: Percy, that’s the sequel. Percy: Oh. Well, then how about The Titan’s Curse? Annabeth: Percy, that’s the third one. Percy: Oh. Well, then how about The Battle of the Labyrinth? Annabeth: Percy, are you just naming all the books in order? Percy: Maybe.

shoto

Drazai

Yosano: Dazai, what are you doing here? This is a women’s clothing store. Dazai: Oh, hello, Yosano. I’m just browsing around. Yosano: Browsing around for what? Are you looking for something specific? Dazai: Well, actually, yes. I’m looking for a dress. Yosano: A dress? For who? Dazai: For myself, of course. Yosano: For yourself? Why? Dazai: Why not? Don’t you think I would look good in a dress? Yosano: Well, I suppose you would, but… Dazai: But what? Are you saying that men can’t wear dresses? Yosano: No, no, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m just surprised, that’s all. Dazai: Well, don’t be surprised. Be supportive. In fact, why don’t you help me pick one out? How about this one? It’s pink and frilly and has a bow on the back. Yosano: Um…Dazai…are you sure about this?