Kyouka Is Cupid

Kyouka is Cupid

Kyouka: I’m sorry for what I did in the past. I know I can never make up for it, but I want to try to be a better person. Atsushi: You don’t have to apologize, Kyouka. You’re not a bad person, you were just manipulated by a bad person. You’ve already proven yourself to be a good person by joining the Armed Detective Agency and helping others. Kyouka: Thank you, Atsushi. You’re very kind and forgiving. You’re like a big brother to me. Atsushi: Really? A big brother? I’m flattered. Kyouka: Yes, a big brother. And as your little sister, I have something to ask you. Atsushi: What is it? Kyouka: Can you please date Akutagawa? Atsushi: What?! Kyouka: Please, please, please! He’s so lonely and miserable and he needs someone to love him and make him happy! And you’re the only one who can do that! You’re his rival, his nemesis, his soulmate! Atsushi: Kyouka, that’s ridiculous! Akutagawa hates me and I hate him! We’re enemies, not lovers! Kyouka: But you have so much in common! You both have animal abilities, you both have tragic pasts, you both have white hair and blue eyes! Atsushi: That doesn’t mean anything! We’re completely different in personality, values, and goals! We can never get along! Kyouka: But opposites attract! And think of how cute you two would look together! Please, Atsushi, do it for me! Do it for Akutagawa! Do it for love! Atsushi: No, no, no! A thousand times no!

But then everyone turns into a vampire and Aya does a Dazai.

Akutagawa: I hate you, Atsushi. You’re weak, pathetic, and useless. You don’t deserve to live. Atsushi: I hate you too, Akutagawa. You’re cruel, arrogant, and violent. You don’t deserve to be happy. Akutagawa: Then why do I feel this way when I see you? Atsushi: Why do I feel this way when I touch you? Akutagawa: Maybe we should kiss and find out. Atsushi: Maybe we should.

IS THAT A MAN BUN.

ASOYNCAUYBOCUYA

I spent the last couple days getting this together.

Okay so I spent several hours analysing if Dazai could be dead or alive. Here are the facts. (I am definitely not in a river in Egypt)

Ok, so here we see four gunshot wounds.

And here there are still four 'cos Chuuya. Now, Dazai just got shot point blank in the goddamn skull and is talking. Bit sus. Now you might say 'Oh, but that's for dramatic effect', you are entirely correct. However. In this page...

This man is still pulling goofy facial expressions. This suggests that even though it looks to us and Dostoyovesky that there is no way out.

Now when we look at this panel...

Out of the four shots, only three left impacts in the wall. Two shoulder shots and the rib shot. The impact from the headshot is MISSING.

Now this may be because the bullet has lodged itself in Dazai's brain, but some recoil is to be expected, no?. And here

Minimal blood from the wound aswell.

You'd also assume, that since the bullet was shot point blank, the bullet would go through the head, as the other bullets left IMPACT CRATERS even through flesh. which bring me to my next point.

THERE IS NO BLOOD FROM THE HEADSHOT ON THE WALL.

This means that it is either, a) stuck inside Dazai's brain, b) deflected somehow, or c) it's a red herring.

To conclude:

No impact crater from the headshot.

The bullet did not pass fully through Dazai's skull (suggests that there may be something obstructing the bullet, or Dazai has a thick skull, or Dazai's brain ate it.)

It's still unclear whether he is alive or not but this man is armed to the teeth with plot armour so BETTER WAIT TILL SEPTEMBER LOL.

Who am I fucking kidding, I can't wait until then. I will go back to posting incorrect quotes and boring existence.

New insult unlocked.

Atsushi: I don’t understand why you hate me so much. Akutagawa: You don’t understand anything, you pathetic tiger cub. You’re weak, naive, and useless. You stole Dazai-sensei from me and ruined my life. Atsushi: I didn’t steal anyone from you! Dazai-sensei is not your property! Akutagawa: He is mine! He’s the only one who can acknowledge me and make me stronger! Atsushi: Well, maybe if you stopped being so obsessed with him and focused on yourself, you would be happier and stronger. Akutagawa: How dare you lecture me, you insolent worm! I’ll kill you! Atsushi: Bring it on, you edgy coat rack!

Except Asagiri found this post and is cackling with Poe's evil laugh at our innocent minds and someone is going to wind up dead in the gayest way possible.

I love how most of the major BSD ships are killing each other right now, but Poe and Ranpo are just out here living their best lives