I Ship

I ship

Kaminari: Hey, Jiro, can you help me with this math problem? Jiro: Sure, what is it? Kaminari: If I have 10 apples and you have 7 oranges, how many pancakes can fit on the roof? Jiro: What? That doesn’t make any sense. Kaminari: Yeah, I know. I just wanted to talk to you.

Gosh

Ango: Dazai, I need your help. Dazai: Ango, long time no see. How have you been? Ango: Cut the crap, Dazai. This is serious. Dazai: What is it? Did you get into trouble with the government again? Ango: No, worse. I have a date tonight and I don’t know what to do. Dazai: A date? With who? Ango: With… with Oda’s sister.

Sick burn, Akutagawa

Atsushi: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Akutagawa: It’s fine. I’m used to being attacked by wild animals. Atsushi: What? Akutagawa: What?

Offer Declined

Fukuzawa: I’m proud of you, Dazai. You’ve grown so much since you joined the Agency. Dazai: Thank you, sensei. That means a lot to me. F ukuzawa: You’re welcome. Now, please stop trying to kill yourself. Dazai: I’ll think about it.

Kunikida has been replaced with poor Yosano

Ranpo: I’m a genius, and you’re all idiots. Yosano: That’s not very nice. Ranpo: Fine, fine. I’m a genius, and you’re all slightly less intelligent than me. Yosano: That’s not much better.

Yet another declined offer.

Mori: I have a proposition for you, Dazai. Dazai: I’m listening. Mori: Join the Port Mafia again, and I’ll give you anything you want. Dazai: Anything? Mori: Anything. Dazai: Can you give me death? Mori: No. Dazai: Then I’m not interested.