Its Hard To Imagine That Carl Sagan Could Ever Be Evil, But Perhaps In Some Parallel Universe, This Is

It’s hard to imagine that Carl Sagan could ever be evil, but perhaps in some parallel universe, this is exactly how it would go …

If you wish to destroy the universe, start with the pie, my friend …

From the always entertaining Sci-ənce comic, illustrated by the delightfully evil Maki Naro.

It's been a while since I posted any limericks or double dactyls.

I would like to rectify this wrong by requesting your assistance. If you have any ideas, prompts, or even a vague and somewhat insubstantial notion of an idea you'd like to see put into rhyming form, drop it in my ask box.

If it intrigues me or otherwise tickles my fancy you might just get a poem in return.

Oh, octopi. 

So there’s a read aloud function on my Kindle, so I thought it would be funny to turn it on and hear this in its robotic voice.

I was wrong.

It wasn’t funny.

It was hilarious.

JUST CLICK PLAY OK.

And I hope my laughter isn’t too loud.

Noir Fiction

I finally got access to my Twitter archive. By request, here are my #noirfiction tweets from quite a ways back:

She was a nutty broad, with hair that was bonkers, and legs that just didn’t make any sense at all #noirfiction

She had a pair of legs that wouldn’t quit, no matter how politely you asked #noirfiction

She was the kind of dame where you couldn’t wait for her to leave so you could write about her on your blog #noirfiction

It was a dark and stormy…. DAY #noirfictiontwists

Her legs only went halfway up and then there was just an inescapable shrieking void, like all women #noirfictiontwists #noirbydavesim

She had legs that went all the way up, and so did the rest of her. “Get back down here,” I said. She looked at me and said “No” #noirfiction

She had a nice set of legs, and then a second, less-nice set she’d found in her foyer. That’s why she came to me. #noirfiction

Her legs were like a metaphor, and the imagery they brought to mind was extreme evocative #noirfiction

She had a body like a poem, and a face like a limerick #noirfiction

She was a real classy broad: top hat, monocle, tuxedo, twirled mustache… oh wait #noirfiction

Normally a dame like this would put me on every edge I had, but nectarines were in season and I had an entire bag. #noirfiction

She had a torso and then two weird lower limbs sticking out of the bottom of it. What were those things #noirfiction

I never cared for conversation, so I let my gun do the talking. Problem was, he was shy too #noirfiction

It’s a dirty job in a dirty city, but I’m not the cleanest guy so that’s fine by me. The name’s Paul Blart… Mall Cop. #noirfiction #blart

He had a face like a stack of pancakes and whenever he talked he sprayed butter and syrup everywhere #noirfiction

She stormed into my office like a hurricane, swinging her arms around and knocking over all my things. “Hey,” I said. #noirfiction

She had a face like this :) and a pair of legs to match < #noirfiction

She had a nice face. It was pretty. She was in my office. I was a detective! It was my first day of being a detective. #noirfiction

She had a pair of legs that ended in rollerskates and the kind of body that could stay upright #noirfiction

She had a face like a zen koan: thought-provoking but impossible to figure out #noirfiction

New PBF: “One Time Thing”