I Would Rather Go Bird-watching Than Do My Homework, Said Tom Flightily.

“I would rather go bird-watching than do my homework,” said Tom flightily.

an explanation

“With a body like that, she could have any man she wanted!” Tom figured.

an explanation

This is why we no longer take Ted to the bar with us

"With ladies," Ted said ''I've no luck

'Cause all of my pick-up lines suck."

To show us his plight,

To the gal on his right,

Said "Hey there; nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

ever wonder what english sounds like to people who don’t speak english? (as a recovering ESL student who spent many sleepless nights in my homeland of puerto rico trying to decipher song lyrics, i relate to this in ways that i cannot even begin to explain)

“I can’t believe I just saw nine Greek goddesses,” Tom mused.

an explanation