Tom Swifty - Tumblr Posts
'Hello,' she said in a voice so husky it could pull a dogsled.
beboqueen
The Anatomy of Tom Swifty
A little literary history lesson for you all:
According to Wikipedia and Fun-With-Words, the type of pun known as a "Tom Swifty" derives from an adventure book series about a hero named Tom Swift. In 1910, Edward Stratemeyer invented the character and the series was penned by Stratemeyer and/or a series of ghostwriters (the two sources seemed to disagree) under the pen name Victor Appleton. Regardless, the authors had an aversion to repeating the phrase "he said" or "she said" when writing dialogue and often replaced the simple phrase with a more descriptive, and flowery, alternative. Here are some (pared down) examples from Tom Swift and his Airship:
"Oh, I'm not a professor," he said quickly.
"No professor?" cried Miss Perkman indignantly.
"Say something, Tom — I mean Mr. Swift," appealed Mary Nestor, in a whisper, to our hero.
"I — I don't know what to say," stammered Tom.
This style became iconic and it was easy to parody. The result was a sub-group of Wellerisms (a category of puns) called Tom Swifty. The name itself derives from the oft-used adverb ending "ly" (though it was ultimately shortened to "y").
Now to the heart of the matter:
A Tom Swifty is a carefully worded quotation followed by "[said] Tom [potential modifier]" where the words in brackets are replaced with other words that give the quotation double meaning when interpreted literally or sounded out.
They are also much easier to understand by seeing examples.
"I am neither person, place, nor thing," Tom denounced.
"Did I mention I can juggle chainsaws?" Tom said, offhandedly
"I said my garden needs another layer of mulch," Tom repeated.
"Oh no - I dropped the toothpaste!" said Tom, crestfallen.
"Of course I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.
"Excuse me, could you tell me how to get back to China?" Tom asked, disoriented.
For a more daring challenge, even the name can be changed to modify the pun.
"Who discovered radium?" asked Marie curiously
"Simply put, the doctor said I have split-personality disorder," said Tom, being frank.
These wonderful samples were taken from a Reddit post (a few were altered slightly).
In conclusion, Tom Swiftys are terrible groaner puns which I will occasionally be posting in the future.
“With a body like that, she could have any man she wanted!” Tom figured.
an explanation
“When she didn’t pick up the first time I tried the number again,” Tom recalled.
an explanation
“I can’t believe I just saw nine Greek goddesses,” Tom mused.
an explanation
“I would rather go bird-watching than do my homework,” said Tom flightily.
an explanation
"He was done in by a steamroller," said Tom flatly.
an explanation
“As it turned out, the rabbit was fluorescent,” said John brightly.
an explanation
“The plan will only work if you access the secret compartment in your fedora by removing the brim of your hat,” Johnny devised.
Image Source
An explanation
“I’m trying to glue a sheet of veneer to the wood, again,” Tom replied.
An explanation
“Would you like anything else on your salad?” Tom asked, addressing the customer.
An explanation
"They're tighter than boxers," Tom explained briefly.
"What kind of parent names their kid 'River Song'?" Amy pondered.
“I’m dying! Go on without me! Just promise me this: you’ll take care of the business’s finances when I’m gone!” Tom managed.
“Do not assume I know nothing of late 19th/early 20th century footwear fashion!” Tom spat.
“I made all my money in the oil business”, said Tom, in a refined tone.
“I’ll sneak into her garden after she falls asleep and plant jalapeños in her pepper patch!” Tom plotted.
"Yeah, well th'other cand'date for th'job is a goodfornothin' cheater who can't count t' ten wit' mittens on!" Tom slurred drunkenly.
"I make sure to label my food twice before putting it in the communal fridge," Tom remarked.