Day 1:

Day 1:

Height: 161 cm

HW: 109 kgs

LW: 57 kgs

GW 1: 77 kgs

GW 2: 66 kgs

GW 3: 55 kgs

UGW: 44 kgs

CW: 85 kgs

too fat for it to become a problem

(I AM NOT PROMOTING EATING DISORDERS)

When the fat girl loses weight, it’s a success story. Everyone suddenly starts acknowledging her, and suddenly she exists. She finally fits in the society, the constant pats on her back, the congratulatory messages, “girl, you have lost weight, very good, you should continue”, she feels happy, maybe after a very long time she’s satisfied with herself, BUT, it is not enough, it is never enough. She is obsessed, she counts every calorie and she has this pink diary in which she writes everything down, she has written the rude comments made by people earlier, she remembers how she used to get body shamed and she makes sure to never forget them, so she writes each and everything down. She wants thigh gaps and collar bones and she wants to count each and every rib, that’s utopia for her. Everyone sees how much weight she has lost and how pretty she has become, but they never look beyond that. Cause, she’s too fat for it to become a problem. No one sees how she stands on the weight machine, cursing at herself cause, she needs to lose more. No one sees how she shivers, no one notices her dark circles and pale complexion, no one really sees that she is losing a lot of weight in very less time.(22kgs?) NO ONE KNOWS THAT SHE HIDES HER FOOD, THROWS THE FOOD AWAY AND COMPLETELY STARVES HERSELF, NO ONE BLOODY KNOWS THAT SHE HASN’T EATEN A SINGLE CALORIE FOR MORE THAN TWO WEEKS. No one thinks that she is sick, CAUSE SHE IS TOO FAT FOR IT TO BECOME A PROBLEM. She wants to shout and cry for help but she won’t, cause NOT EATING gives her something to be proud about, a purpose, she feels good when she is hungry, her stomach asking for food cause it’s too empty, so she places her cold hands on her tummy and ‘shh’ she says! She knows that whatever she is doing is not right, but she refuses to believe it, cause she’s fat and she can never have a problem, right? She knows that she might die doing this, but at least she will die thin! It’s not like she avoids food, the thing is, she avoids eating. After all this, it’s under control, isn’t it? She can be all skin and bones, but the fat girl is thin, that’s all that matters, right? (This is MY personal experience, fuck haters)

maintaining feels like gaining :/

If you feel like you wanna break a fast:

Chew and spit a bite of food(rinse mouth after)

Think about if you eat, your SO/parents/friends/siblings won’t get to eat

Eat an ice cube

Watch a movie or tv series

Smoke weed

Weigh yourself

Start a new project or complete an old one

Remember that if you quit this fast, you gotta start day 1 all over again. The longer you fast, the faster the weight loss. Do you really wanna start over? You got this!

Starting day 4 of fasting, lost 5 pounds already (I ate a lot after my last fast) so I got some catching up to do. I’m gonna try and fast until I’m 160 for now. Unless I’m forced to eat. I’m going to do 7-8 days just because I’m saving a small portion of food that family brought unless my bf eats it on me (or I freeze it which is prob the case. Wish me luck on completing my longest fast. 7 more full days!

Day 2.

I'm 5 feet 3 inches tall.

I like my height.

Think about the look on their faces when they see how skinny you‘ve gotten.