Tryna-be-perfect - Trying-my-best - Tumblr Blog

omg favourite th!nspø! beautiful i want legs like them 😍

in some way i wanna become as sick as possible and let everyone see what's become of me and what they've done to me and make them regret just like they made me regret every bite of food i eat and i wanna let them see my cvts and i wanna let them know how much i suffered but then i also know that there is no "them" because it's all my own fault really and i could've chosen to be better but i never did

i took the bus home from school with a friend and the friend of my friend, and the guy seriously just looked at me and went: "they're just one glooming, expressionless cloud of negative energy"

like bro wtf? translated it but those were his words lol apparently i'm a cloud now yay

my parents are fighting? sis is being an asshole? oke then if i starve myself everything's gonna be fine

others people have skeletons in their closet, but i be having my bag of rotting food to hide from my parents in there

sometimes i be inhaling five cups of tea a day, and then i don't touch it for months aka i know i've been restricting well when my mom starts wondering where all the tea has gone

bruh my neighbours be having the christmas decoration out already lol

"skip dinner wake up thinner" except my friend came over and we did some baking and lefty just say we devoured that dough

still skipped dinner so... success i guess? lol

before i got my ed i used to procrastinate exercise, now i exercise to procrastinate 💀

anyone else having like "good triggers" and "bad triggers" for their ed?

the bad ones for me are the ones when someone calls me fat or i gain or something like that, and the good ones are when i read anything ed related or make a new we!ght loss plan and see progress and all that.

what about you guys?

my hobby is calculating different bmis for my height bruh

the amount of diet coke i consumed yesterday is quite comical

🥝🍌!!

🥝 - how often do you binge? that differs, really, but lately i've been binging a lot, because i didn't have school. Usually it happens on the weekends though, so i'd say at least 2-3 times a month 🥲

🍌 - does your family know about your ed? no, they don't. my grandma suspects it, but i never confirmed it to her and my mother denies it too. when i first started to ⭐ve myself, i was acting hella sus because i was twelve and stupid, but my parents never took action and at some point i started binging and once they joked to my grandma that "i could never have an ed, i love food way too much", but they dont know they're literally about the only people i ever eat in front of. they really only to complain to me that i'm so "weird with food" did that make sense? 😅

hope i answered the questions well enough, sorry it got a bit long lol

oke everytine i eat it feels just like a fucking binge now

i feel like i can literally feel the fat crawl into my thighs and cheeks after eating, what is this 😭

// ED Questions 🌸💭

Reblog and let others send you a fruit

🍎 What's your height, current weight, bmi?

🍏 What's your daily calorie limit?

🍋 Your goal weight?

🍇 Your top 3 fear foods?

🍒 Your top 3 safe foods?

🥝 How often do you binge?

🍍 Do you purge?

🍌 Does your family know about your ed?

🍉 Are you currently in treatment?

🍑 Have you been inpatient?

🍐 What did you eat today?

🍊 Share your favorite thinspo?

🍓 Do you want to recover?

okeee, maybe i might be a bit late on this, but i just tried the oreo coke and it's literally SO GOOD

i literally just looked up the c@ls lipstick omg i'm fucking stooooopid

my biggest motivation is actually seeing progress on the scale, which is good when i've been restricting anyway, but that makes it way more difficult to get out of a binge cycle

these awkward ten seconds in the shower when the brain fog hits and you just gotta stare at the shampoo bottles, trying to figure out what to do with them

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

was about to purge in the rectory's bathroom during confirmation class

made up my mind though 💀

clothing has got to be one of the most difficult aspects of life, because i'm either way too scared to wear anything "interesting" in public even if i kinda want to, so i just wear the same three outfits in which i don't feel that fat and people must think i either don't have anything else or i'm just an NPC or something

and if i do bring up the courage to wear something i like, you can literally see my cvts or body dysmorphia hits and i just end up crying in the bathroom. i feel so stupid. it's literally just clothes.

i could seriously just stare at the night sky for hours, the stars are literally so ✨enchanting✨

But apparently humans need something called "sleep", so i won't (totally overrated if you ask me)