In Some Way I Wanna Become As Sick As Possible And Let Everyone See What's Become Of Me And What They've

in some way i wanna become as sick as possible and let everyone see what's become of me and what they've done to me and make them regret just like they made me regret every bite of food i eat and i wanna let them see my cvts and i wanna let them know how much i suffered but then i also know that there is no "them" because it's all my own fault really and i could've chosen to be better but i never did

clothing has got to be one of the most difficult aspects of life, because i'm either way too scared to wear anything "interesting" in public even if i kinda want to, so i just wear the same three outfits in which i don't feel that fat and people must think i either don't have anything else or i'm just an NPC or something

and if i do bring up the courage to wear something i like, you can literally see my cvts or body dysmorphia hits and i just end up crying in the bathroom. i feel so stupid. it's literally just clothes.

anyone else having like "good triggers" and "bad triggers" for their ed?

the bad ones for me are the ones when someone calls me fat or i gain or something like that, and the good ones are when i read anything ed related or make a new we!ght loss plan and see progress and all that.

what about you guys?

oke everytine i eat it feels just like a fucking binge now

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

i literally just looked up the c@ls lipstick omg i'm fucking stooooopid