Twitwir - TwiTwir

It’s okay to not be ready

I’m constantly having to remind myself of this, especially as I grow older and whenever I see LGBTQIA2+ related stuff in the media.

Even though I’ve already posted about my gender online in the past and used to be very open about it, I’ve become more sheltered about who I am because of my insecurities. I’m living in a very liberal city and all of my irl friends are openly queer, but yet I still struggle on a day-to-day basis to tell people the truth about my gender identity and hope to Satan that people don’t somehow find out about it. It’s hard, and I’m both really jealous and proud of everyone out there who is able to be so open about themselves to the world.

But anyways, I wanted to write this post to remind people who haven’t came out yet at all or who’re dealing with similar issues as me that it’s okay.

It’s okay to not be ready to tell people. It’s okay to need time. It’ll take time to gather the strength, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

No matter the circumstances, you are valid.

Sorry for the rambles after being afk for so long. It will happen again.

Posting this on my anti-LGBTQIA2+ “grandfather”’s birthday so lessgo

his voice is better than Markiplyr’s.

trying to get out of my art block is like trying to light a fire with wet matches

I haven’t been able to finish the digital drawing of Technoblade that I’ve been working on, so I’m gonna give you a little story and some doodles I did in math class forever ago instead as a way of remembering Technoblade on the one year anniversary of the announcement of his passing.

I first discovered Technoblade’s content in late 2021 when I was trying to get into the Dream SMP because of this one friend I had at the time. She and I would greet each other by yelling, “Subscribe to Technoblade,” even though I didn’t know what that meant back then, so as such, I looked up Technoblade on YouTube and immediately fell in love with his content. He reminded me of my younger self who used to love Minecraft and dreamed of becoming a Minecraft YouTuber, and so he quickly became a hyperfixation for me for a while.

The following year, my closest friend passed away. It tore me apart, and they were the only person I felt safe enough being myself around since I knew how the internet treated femboys - either like we’re transphobic monsters or like we’re sex addicts, which isn’t the case at all (for most). However, the more of Techno’s videos that I watched, the more I tried to gain his confidence and eventually, on March 31st, 2022, I wore a skirt in public for the first time. It was huge for me, and I’m ever so thankful for Technoblade’s indirect support with my struggles.

As mentioned earlier, he also reminded me of my childhood dream to be a Minecraft YouTuber. It was specifically his video on philosophy that got me determined to get into MCYT like seven year-old me always dreamed of, and I remember declaring to myself after I watched “so long nerds” that I will achieve my dream no matter what. I’m hoping that one day soon, I can make that dream a reality.

Thank you Technoblade.