[7:35 Pm]

[7:35 pm]

you punch best friend!doyoung’s shoulder as he laughs, teasing you about the way your face reddens every time you talk to johnny. doyoung thinks your blush is adorable - although he would never admit it to you - and wants you to find happiness in a romantic relationship. doyoung is always complaining about how you keep dragging him out of his comfy bed on weekends because you don’t have a boyfriend to go on a date with. maybe if you got a boyfriend, you wouldn’t blow up his phone every saturday with constant texts and calls begging him to go to a new restaurant or café you discovered online.

but when you call doyoung to squeal and announce that johnny asked you out, doyoung feels a pang in his stomach he can’t quite decipher. he smiles, though, because he can practically hear you beaming from over the phone. your voice trembles with happiness and love, and doyoung laughs to congratulate you for finally scoring yourself a hot boyfriend. he tells himself it’s a win-win situation now; as much as he loves his best friend, doyoung is a homebody who wants a break on saturdays.

well, at least he’d thought so. as the weeks pass by and you start calling johnny instead of doyoung, texting johnny instead of doyoung, asking johnny to go to restaurants on saturdays instead of doyoung, doyoung finds himself missing you more and more. the two of you do meet up occasionally, text, and call, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore - especially when you get distracted by johnny texting you. although doyoung had expected this, he feels less important to you - unimportant, even.

doyoung thought he would be happy for the both of you when you started dating johnny, but as the days pass, the only thought on his mind becomes the fact that he misses you. doyoung misses you and your late night calls, your voice melting into soft, deep breaths as you fell asleep before him; he misses your constant updates about cute boys you saw at coffee shops; and he misses your habit of interlocking your fingers with his subconsciously when you were bored. he misses taking you for drives to target at midnight and cracking stupid jokes only the two of you would laugh at; he misses you always letting him borrow your oversized jacket, as he gets cold easily and you’re naturally cold-resistant; and he misses having you sleep over for movie night, lending you one of his smallest hoodies that still seems to engulf your smaller body, leaning on each other for comfort, and blurting dumb comments throughout the entire movie until one of you tells the other to shut up.

but above all, doyoung misses being the most important boy in your life - since you’re still the most important girl in his.

[7:38 pm]

you and best friend!johnny watch the orange-pink sunset from the roof of his house, your head leaning on his chest. you’re sitting by his side, your legs across his lap and his arms resting on your legs. the two of you are enveloped by the fluffy grey blanket johnny stole from your house years ago and “accidentally” took back to korea. soft music plays from his phone a few feet away, the sound fading into the orange sky.

you haven’t done anything like this with johnny in years - much less even seen him in person in a while - because of johnny’s busy schedule and constant practice. so when johnny had finally gotten his first long vacation in years, he had decided to come see you. (to be fair, it was also to see his parents, but he promised you were big part of the reason he decided to come back to chicago rather than travel france with the rest of his members.)

johnny missed you more than you can imagine. johnny has always been an amazing listener, especially for his members - he is the one all the members go to if they have a problem they want to rant about. but whenever johnny needs to rant, he always calls you. and you listen to johnny, whether it’s 2 am or 2 pm - and he loves to do the same for you despite his busy schedule.

to johnny, you’re his best friend and favorite listener - his partner in crime, his go-to call for winter ice cream, his cooking buddy for messy aftermaths and ugly cakes, his most feared enemy in snowball fights, his favorite person to crack inside jokes with, his best human pillow for daytime naps.

and as johnny rests his head on yours, absentmindedly toying with your fingers as he murmurs whatever comes to mind, he knows that you’re genuinely listening to him and he feels as if he is finally, truly home.

[9:14 AM]

church boy!mark entwines his fingers with yours as you hold hands in prayer, silently praying you won’t feel his heart thumping through his fingers.

!!!!

hi friends, i know i’ve been posting a lot of personal stuff recently and i really didn’t want to make this post but i don’t know what else to do.

my mom tested positive for the coronavirus and i haven’t heard anything about her condition since around early yesterday morning. my parents are still in korea so it’s just me and my sister at home but i’ve almost completely run out of money (i literally only have $10 in my account) for food / other necessities. i’m still sick so neither of my bosses have scheduled me for work and although my university has closed its campuses, my landlord hasn’t suspended my rent so most of my money has been going to my apartment + my utility bills on top of my parents’ utility bill + my sister’s athletic fees. i know that the easiest thing would be to ask for money from my parents but i really, really don’t want to add to everything that they’re already dealing with.

if you have a dollar or two you could donate, that would be so, so, so inexplicably appreciated like you don’t understand how much you would be helping us out. if you are able to donate, please feel free request a fic from me! i will write it asap and send it to you! if you aren’t able to, that’s completely okay too! i don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything. instead, if you could reblog and spread the word, that would be just as helpful!  

tldr: my parents are still out of the country because of covid-19 and my sister and i are running out of money for food / other necessities. if you are able to donate, send me a fic request and i’ll write it for you!

my paypal is paypal.me/seosoojin. again, please please please do not donate if you don’t have money to spare. focus on you and your needs first. this pandemic is tearing my world apart and i don’t want it to do the same to yours.

thank you guys so much. i know i’ve been posting a lot about my personal life and i promise i won’t post anything more after this. i’ve read all of your kind messages and i’ll get around to answering them after i figure everything out! i love you guys! please stay safe!

[10:32 pm]

husband!jaehyun listens intently as you explain why you don’t want children. it’s a conversation you knew had to happen sooner or later, but it still stings to see something in jaehyun’s eyes flicker out. you apologize, feeling slightly guilty. jaehyun shakes his head and tells you you shouldn’t be sorry; it’s your body and he supports whatever you choose to do with it. he kisses your forehead with a smile that carves dimples into his cheeks.

you were wrong when you thought you couldn’t love him any more than you already did.

[1:28am]

assassin!jaehyun presses his hand to your rifle, stepping between you and your target. you’d known he would try to stop you when he found out your assigned target was his civilian brother - but you didn’t think the pleading look in your partner’s eyes would hurt as much.

“move, jaehyun,” you tell him sternly, your voice cracking ever so slightly as you speak his name.

“you can’t do this,” he says, completely covering your line of fire by pressing his chest to the tip of your rifle. his eyes beg with you as you push him with the weapon. “(y/n), just for old time’s sake, please.”

you had previously knocked the target out for a quick death due to your guilt when jaehyun stepped in. your eyes flickered to his trembling hands that had set his brother more comfortably on the floor while you were frozen in shock from his sudden appearance.

“you know i have to, jae,” you shove him with the tip of your rifle again. “we both know what happens to my family if i don’t. move, or i’ll shoot.” it’s a blatant lie, and your voice shakes as you tell it.

jaehyun’s eyes harden. “no.”

you tear up at the prospect of having to fight and possibly kill your best friend, partner, and long-time love. “jaehyun, please.” it was you begging now. “i don’t want to hurt you, but i will.” if you shot through jaehyun’s heart, he would surely die - especially since you were firing from so close.

“he’s my only family, (y/n),” jaehyun says, taking a step closer as your rifle presses into his chest. he takes a deep breath. “you can shoot me. tell them i stopped you and he got away. it’ll be convincing if i die.”

“i can’t do that,” you breathe, tears in your eyes. it was so unlike you to be emotional during a mission, but it was different when jaehyun was involved.

“please,” jaehyun says. his eyes have that flame of determination that you glimpse whenever he finishes off a target - except this time, the target is himself. “please. for me. let dohyun escape, maybe hide him.”

this won’t end the way either of you want it to, and you know it.

you throw your rifle to the floor. “fight me,” you tell him.

jaehyun is only the slightest bit surprised. he’s probably anticipated this, observing your thought process as your partner for several years.

the both of you kick, swing, and punch each other with impossible agility, jaehyun careful to block you from his brother every time you get too close. you land multiple punches on his jawbone as he kicks you in the stomach.

but you can feel that neither jaehyun nor you are fighting with full power.

“i won’t hold back anymore,” you say, slightly out of breath.

“neither will i,” jaehyun smiles slightly, and slides under you as you whip around, anticipating a sudden attack.

you hadn’t thought he would grab your rifle and shoot his own heart.

“jaehyun!” you scream, and rush to his side as he coughs out blood. your fingers tremble as you press the wound in futile hopes that it would magically seal.

he tries to lean on the wall, but to avail - he slides back down in pain, a smear of blood left on the wall.

you cup his face in your bloody hands, lip trembling as you speak. “i hate you so much.”

he looks like he would laugh if it wasn’t too painful. “is that all you have to say?”

you let out a deep sigh while looking into his eyes. they look happier than you’d ever seen them after a flame. “i have too much to say.”

“i do, too,” jaehyun breathes, and coughs out some more blood as you wipe it from his mouth with worried eyes. both of you know his wound is too severe - you’ve both taken several medical classes and witnessed several deaths and know when a wound is absolutely fatal. he smiles, his dimples bloody. “you know, i love you.”

your eyes widen.

“this probably isn’t the best place,” jaehyun jokes, then winces as he forces a laugh back down his throat, “or time. but i don’t think i could die without telling you. you know? i don’t want a respons-”

“i love you too,” you blurt, and jaehyun’s eyes widen in surprise. you press your forehead against his. “i just... wish we had more time.”

jaehyun wonders if it would be disgusting to kiss you when he’d just coughed out blood, but you beat him to it, the taste of death lingering between breaths.

his eyes flutter closed as he presses one last kiss to your lips, murmurs a last plea to help his brother, and whispers a last breath proclaiming “i love you.”