[7:35 Pm]

[7:35 pm]

you punch best friend!doyoung’s shoulder as he laughs, teasing you about the way your face reddens every time you talk to johnny. doyoung thinks your blush is adorable - although he would never admit it to you - and wants you to find happiness in a romantic relationship. doyoung is always complaining about how you keep dragging him out of his comfy bed on weekends because you don’t have a boyfriend to go on a date with. maybe if you got a boyfriend, you wouldn’t blow up his phone every saturday with constant texts and calls begging him to go to a new restaurant or café you discovered online.

but when you call doyoung to squeal and announce that johnny asked you out, doyoung feels a pang in his stomach he can’t quite decipher. he smiles, though, because he can practically hear you beaming from over the phone. your voice trembles with happiness and love, and doyoung laughs to congratulate you for finally scoring yourself a hot boyfriend. he tells himself it’s a win-win situation now; as much as he loves his best friend, doyoung is a homebody who wants a break on saturdays.

well, at least he’d thought so. as the weeks pass by and you start calling johnny instead of doyoung, texting johnny instead of doyoung, asking johnny to go to restaurants on saturdays instead of doyoung, doyoung finds himself missing you more and more. the two of you do meet up occasionally, text, and call, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore - especially when you get distracted by johnny texting you. although doyoung had expected this, he feels less important to you - unimportant, even.

doyoung thought he would be happy for the both of you when you started dating johnny, but as the days pass, the only thought on his mind becomes the fact that he misses you. doyoung misses you and your late night calls, your voice melting into soft, deep breaths as you fell asleep before him; he misses your constant updates about cute boys you saw at coffee shops; and he misses your habit of interlocking your fingers with his subconsciously when you were bored. he misses taking you for drives to target at midnight and cracking stupid jokes only the two of you would laugh at; he misses you always letting him borrow your oversized jacket, as he gets cold easily and you’re naturally cold-resistant; and he misses having you sleep over for movie night, lending you one of his smallest hoodies that still seems to engulf your smaller body, leaning on each other for comfort, and blurting dumb comments throughout the entire movie until one of you tells the other to shut up.

but above all, doyoung misses being the most important boy in your life - since you’re still the most important girl in his.

[7:38 pm]

you and best friend!johnny watch the orange-pink sunset from the roof of his house, your head leaning on his chest. you’re sitting by his side, your legs across his lap and his arms resting on your legs. the two of you are enveloped by the fluffy grey blanket johnny stole from your house years ago and “accidentally” took back to korea. soft music plays from his phone a few feet away, the sound fading into the orange sky.

you haven’t done anything like this with johnny in years - much less even seen him in person in a while - because of johnny’s busy schedule and constant practice. so when johnny had finally gotten his first long vacation in years, he had decided to come see you. (to be fair, it was also to see his parents, but he promised you were big part of the reason he decided to come back to chicago rather than travel france with the rest of his members.)

johnny missed you more than you can imagine. johnny has always been an amazing listener, especially for his members - he is the one all the members go to if they have a problem they want to rant about. but whenever johnny needs to rant, he always calls you. and you listen to johnny, whether it’s 2 am or 2 pm - and he loves to do the same for you despite his busy schedule.

to johnny, you’re his best friend and favorite listener - his partner in crime, his go-to call for winter ice cream, his cooking buddy for messy aftermaths and ugly cakes, his most feared enemy in snowball fights, his favorite person to crack inside jokes with, his best human pillow for daytime naps.

and as johnny rests his head on yours, absentmindedly toying with your fingers as he murmurs whatever comes to mind, he knows that you’re genuinely listening to him and he feels as if he is finally, truly home.

[10:47 pm]

“kiss me like you love me,” you breathe as you lean into johnny, his warm breath brushing over your lips as his hands gently take hold on your waist.

johnny’s eyes seem to kiss your eyes just as passionately as his lips kiss your lips - until your eyelids flutter shut under his insatiable dark brown gaze. his hands have made their way up your torso and are entangled in your hair, his long fingers softly holding your head as he leans down to meet his lips with yours. johnny’s mind pleads with him to savor this moment with slow, tender kisses upon your lips, but his heart races so fast that he can barely think.

johnny has been dreaming about this very moment since sophomore year of high school: the year he realized he did love his best friend. he had dreamt about this very moment every time you tucked your hair behind your ear; every time your mutual friends teased the two of you for bickering like an old married couple; every time you introduced johnny to your new boyfriend with a cute giggle and a peck johnny always wished was for himself; every time you wore his oversized light blue hoodie for heartbreak sleepovers, wrapped in his arms and crying over a movie and your breakup as he ran his hands over your hair comfortingly.

johnny has dreamt about this moment so often that he doesn’t understand how you can tell him to kiss you like he loves you - how you can be so oblivious to the fact that he’s loved you and your endearing, pink-cheeked smile for years on end.

johnny swallows back the three words clawing at his throat - begging to be let free just to be shattered into pieces - as he pulls you closer. “kiss me like you love me,” he repeats in a breath, and hopes you didn’t hear his voice cracking ever so slightly.

!!!!

hi friends, i know i’ve been posting a lot of personal stuff recently and i really didn’t want to make this post but i don’t know what else to do.

my mom tested positive for the coronavirus and i haven’t heard anything about her condition since around early yesterday morning. my parents are still in korea so it’s just me and my sister at home but i’ve almost completely run out of money (i literally only have $10 in my account) for food / other necessities. i’m still sick so neither of my bosses have scheduled me for work and although my university has closed its campuses, my landlord hasn’t suspended my rent so most of my money has been going to my apartment + my utility bills on top of my parents’ utility bill + my sister’s athletic fees. i know that the easiest thing would be to ask for money from my parents but i really, really don’t want to add to everything that they’re already dealing with.

if you have a dollar or two you could donate, that would be so, so, so inexplicably appreciated like you don’t understand how much you would be helping us out. if you are able to donate, please feel free request a fic from me! i will write it asap and send it to you! if you aren’t able to, that’s completely okay too! i don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything. instead, if you could reblog and spread the word, that would be just as helpful!  

tldr: my parents are still out of the country because of covid-19 and my sister and i are running out of money for food / other necessities. if you are able to donate, send me a fic request and i’ll write it for you!

my paypal is paypal.me/seosoojin. again, please please please do not donate if you don’t have money to spare. focus on you and your needs first. this pandemic is tearing my world apart and i don’t want it to do the same to yours.

thank you guys so much. i know i’ve been posting a lot about my personal life and i promise i won’t post anything more after this. i’ve read all of your kind messages and i’ll get around to answering them after i figure everything out! i love you guys! please stay safe!

[10:32 pm]

husband!jaehyun listens intently as you explain why you don’t want children. it’s a conversation you knew had to happen sooner or later, but it still stings to see something in jaehyun’s eyes flicker out. you apologize, feeling slightly guilty. jaehyun shakes his head and tells you you shouldn’t be sorry; it’s your body and he supports whatever you choose to do with it. he kisses your forehead with a smile that carves dimples into his cheeks.

you were wrong when you thought you couldn’t love him any more than you already did.

[6:04 pm]

boyfriend!johnny’s hands wrap around the back of your neck as he kisses you, his thumb grazing the bottom of your ear and the tips of his fingers supporting your head. butterflies churn in your stomach, threatening to explode through your beating heart, and you can barely think even after your lips separate from his, looking up at him with blank, lovestruck eyes. johnny laughs his signature chuckle that makes his pretty brown eyes curve into crescent moons, and gently pulls you to him, large hands on your waist. he leans down to whisper, “i love you,” by your ear and laughs as your ears turn red - but his cheeks turn even redder when you swiftly peck his cheek with a starry-eyed smile.