Why Are We Like This.

Why are we like this.

I can write good stuff I swear 😭

I feel like Cardan would be secretly super into old music. Specifically stuff from the 80s like Tears For Fears.

Since 2023, I have been keeping something know as my Chaos Calender. Everytime an event I deem noteworthy happens, I add it to the calender. I feel like now it a good time to share it.

{2023}

January

-Beyoncé Dubai concert video

-Doja Cat bedazzled with Schiaparelli

-Noah Schnapp came out

February

-Chinese spy balloon burst

March

-Eras tour

-TikTok ban panic

-Trump crime thingy

April

-AI started popping up

May

-Prince Charles crowned

June

-🎶Toxic Gossip Train🎶

August

-The Battle Of Montgomery (Dinner cruise Vs. Pontoon)

- new shape discovered

- Zepotha chaos

- The Joe Hawley document

- Hawaii wildfires

- Ancient underworld passage in Mexico

- Telescopes are time machines

- Trump got arrested

- LIL TAY IS DEAD!?

September

-TIMOTHEE AND KYLIE!?

-Danelo Cavalcante is caught.

-Libya is under water

-Brooklyn is under water

October

-LIL TAY ISN'T DEAD!?

-Israel starts a genocide

-The great Minecraft revolution

-jacksfilm and ssniperwolf drama

November

-New island pops up in Japan.

-Nicholas Cantu punches Dream

December

-Gypsy Rose Blanchard released from jail.

{2024}

January

-Man sneaks into and videos the Bohemian Grove

-Japan earthquakes

-Epstein list

-A LOT of bodies found behind a police station

-guy attacks judge

-Matpat is quitting

-Stanley cup craze

-Why are babies at Sephora

-YanDev apology video

-Golden Globes laugh track

-ThatVeganTeacher starts a cult

-LUBERTO IS CANON

-RIP Lynja :(

-Verbalase 50k vid

-Stallion V. Minaj

February

-The great TikTok muting

-LAUFEY WINS BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM GRAMMY AWARD 2024 FUCK YEAH!!!🔥 🔥 🔥

-MOANA 2 IS APPARENTLY A THING AND COMING OUT THIS YEAR!? LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!

- Stanley Cups have lead in them.

- OpenAi Sora

- Wendy Williams has Frontotemporal Dementia :(

- Rest In Power Aaron Bushnell.

- The downfall of Wilbur Soot (fuck that asshole for abusing Shubble).

March

-JANICE BURGESS IS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK.

- The government is trying to ban TikTok (Again).

- MatPat's final theory

- Quiet On Set documentary

April

-JoJo Siwa drama (Brit Smith 🔛🔝)

-EKT HAS BEEN FOUND

-Man or bear? (Bear)

May

-NYC blanket couple

-Drake V. Kendrick

-Blockout 2024

-JUSTICE FOR JOOST KLEIN

-The northern white rhino has gone extinct.

June

-TRUMP WAS FOUND GUILTY ON 34 COUNTS!

-Chappel Roan as the statue of liberty (yes this is important).

-French people shitting in the Seine.

-Oklahoma board of education mandates a bible in every classroom (It is so much worse than this but I am so fucking tired).

-Chevron Deference has been oveturned.

coping.png

Petition to make all men like Wylan Van Eck. Sign here.