I Can Write Good Stuff I Swear

I can write good stuff I swear 😭

Parents: You're a fucking failure.

Me: I pre-ordered a signed copy of The Book Of Bill.

Cassandra Ito-Ivanov lived with her single mother. And then she died. Cassandra Ito-Ivanov had never met her father. And now, with no one else to watch her, she must go all the way to the other side of the country and live with him. She ends up in Cardinal. A tiny, middle-of-nowhere town that has no such thing as Burger King. Her father is missing ninety percent of the time (big shocker), his so-called housekeeper won’t stop breathing down her neck, and again, there is no such thing as Burger King. It could be worse, she could be in foster care. Cass is odd, but Cardinal is odder. Weird things happen on a daily basis, the forest is forever, and there is no such thing as Burger King. They fear the night, for it holds secrets.

This is my first ever story. Sooooo don't expect it to be perfect. If you like unserious horror stories, try Cardinal on Wattpad (chapters 1 2 and 3 out now). Please just give it a chance.

Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

I may be looking a little too much into this but, marzipan pigs are gifted in German culture. The surname Dudenoff has German origins and the woman on the 445 frequency sounded like she had a German accent. Maybe I'm just crazy but I thought that was a strange connection lol

OMITB spoiler musings ahead

Oliver is right, what is with all the hams? The ham radios (the one from the Dudenoff apartment, Christmas guy's, whoever answered Mabel's call, and ghost Sazz said she had one), the ham in the Sauce family bathtub, the pig in the Dudenoff bathtub... it has to be significant that Sazz mentioned ham radio, right?

I feel like Cardan would be secretly super into old music. Specifically stuff from the 80s like Tears For Fears.

THIS IS WHAT CHAPPELL ROAN WAS TALKING ABOUT