Voltron As Shit Ive Heard People Say

Voltron as shit I’ve heard people say

Pidge: “Step one: get a gun”

Keith: “what if…instead of seaweed in the water….it was just blood” Shiro: “you sound high”

Hunk: “I wanna touch Rocktapus”

Allura: “Lance, let go of his pants”

Corran: “OH SHE HAS A GUN”

Lance: *small gasp* “I forgot to throw saltine crackers at Keith”

Shiro: “my Face ID didn’t work because I was smiling”

Adam: “You need to go through a certain legal process called getting you head chopped off”

Keith: “I will squeeze your nutsack till it pops”

Allura: “TWO MINUTES TWO MINUTES EVERYBODY GET EVERYTHING OFF OF YOUR CHEST!” Keith: “IM GAY” Pidge: “YOUR DEAD TO ME”

we need more lesbians guys

Pidge and Lance reading Reddit stories:

Pidge: Wait, look at this one

Lance: Ok, ok— “My friend keeps trying to imitate the “I’m feeling romantical” meme when we meet up, and I feel very uncomfortable. What should I do?”

Pidge: Wait wait wait what’s the first reply?

*Lance scrolls to the first reply*

Hang up on your computer call, and come and kiss him on his hot mouth

OP: Noted.

*they burst into laughter*

Lance: What if it’s Keith?

Pidge: What?

Lance: Y’know, because you dared me to say that to him for a month?

Pidge: Good point. But that was half a year ago, and this post was just a week ago. So unless…

Lance: …

Pidge: Oh my fucking quiznak, how long have you been doing this?

Lance: I…haven’t stopped.

Pidge: LANCE?!

Lance: You still haven’t figured out if it’s Keith or not!

Pidge: It says here that…cryptids, other stuff, knife— ok, yeah, it’s definitely Keith.

Lance: Shit. I’m screwed.

Pidge: I thought you’d like that?

Lance: Go to hell.

*the sound of a key turning in a lock can be heard from where they are sitting, promptly scaring the shit out of them*

Pidge: I guess we have to find out. *pushes Lance to the door*

Lance: WAITWAIT NO—

*the door opens, revealing none other than Keith.*

Keith: Huh?

Lance: I’m feeling romantical—

Keith: Shit. *kisses him straight on the lips*

Lance: *pulls away* So it was you!

Keith: What?

Lance: The askReddit??? Red_The—

Keith: Oh. OH! You saw that!?

Lance: YEAH I DID?? WHY DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO THAT PERSON’S ADVICE??

Keith: MAYBE BECAUSE I WANTED TO KISS YOU??

Pidge: What?

Lance: What??

Keith: What???

*the two stare into each other’s eyes longingly, before they crash together and make increasingly more graphic sounds as Pidge just watches in a state of pure horror*

Pidge: Why the fuck did we even get chosen to be Voltron Paladins?

we are the boogiemen

occasional posts from users

finally caved and got tumblr. Who should I avoid?