Inhale Me And Keep Me There

Inhale me and keep me there

What is a woman if not a smile in the face of a storm

What is a woman if not the storm

If not the crechendoing tempest and

The ethereal melody that somehow never loops back again

Unpredictable familiar rhythm

If not lilting music box laughter

A cacophony of karma

What is a woman if not an expanse of endless possibly

If not a universe in static motion

If not the duality of an ocean

In all her calm lethality

Her peaceful wild

In all her vastness and instiabilty and depths never to be discovered

What is a woman if not a warning to be careful what you wish for

If not a walking contradiction

A winding metaphor

An invitation to drown yourself amongst her depths

All sin and

Salvation and

Sacrifice

All risk and

Reward and

Redemption

If not the remembering and the revenging

What is a woman if not salacious second chances

If not doubting into oblivion only to be resurrected over and over

And Over Again

If not myth and martyr and miracle

If not warrior and wish and whim

What is a woman if not ravaged battlefield and a bullet wound just clotting

A freshly dug grave that still smells like flowers and earth and possibility

If not stitches pulled taunt and the soft skin of a scar

If not delicately crafted battle wound

If not the art of unbreaking

What is a woman if not a champagne toast and red wine stain

If not shattered glass and shards that will lodge themselves under your fingernails

What is a woman of not midnight blaze and forest fire and funeral pyre

What is a woman if not

burning

burning

burning

What is a woman if not waist curved like a flame

What is a woman if not

Anything she wishes to be.

~Thoughts On Breaking My Own Hymen~

And who will ever be more worthy

Of me

Than myself?

And

If a man ever sets foot here

In hopes of laying claim to

Unseeded land

He ought to know that this is

Sovereign territory

That he will be permitted to take

Nothing

And what a man thing it is

To take pride in shattering

Some part of a woman.

To raise blood speckled white bed sheets

As victory flag.

No.

For, I want no man here

That takes pleasure in

Breaking

Things.

I never had a chance to be soft. I was always bloody knuckles and shards of glass. I wanted people to be afraid of hurting me.

quote for 17.01.2021.

How long will you stay before you realize there is nothing left here worth saving, love?

And there is nothing left unsaid, and yet a million things unheard. The chasm between us widening and deepening and every word tumbles down into the depths and we remain. Sore throats and hoarse voices and strained eyes trying to make out the details of your face that drift farther away with each passing eternity. And I suppose, that we could jump. But who knows what awaits us? How far we will fall. If We will hit the bottom alive. If we will drown in the accumulated sea of sentences that have amassed over the years. If we will see each other the same in the darkness. If we will ever resurface.

But I will jump first. If only to know it will be your voice that drowns me. If only to attempt to consume everything you ever tried to say before it devours me instead. If only to be suffocated by your truth. If only to be laid to rest here, amongst the sins we birthed together. Here, next to the slowly disintegrating corpse of our love. And perhaps I will never know peace. But I will have known the whole of you, And that would have been enough.