Well What Did Happen??

Well what did happen??

This is a conversation I've had with everybody when I told em the guy I was dating was yelling at me when I told him I wanted to see him more, at this point I hadn't seen him in 2-3 months due to me almost dying of blood poisoning and also going back to Norway to get the best treatment I could get... So under this I was honest and I told the truth, I told him I could have died and I went back home to make sure if I did, at least my family would be there... When I got back, we chatted on Snapchat and never on the phone. During December where I was supposed to spend with him, we talked and I asked him if we were still on for Christmas, he said no and that he wanted to see me during New Years. I said fine and celebrated Christmas with a good friend instead... New Years came around and I didn't hear from him until afterwards, I was all alone, feeling useless, worthless and friendless... I was lost so I called him, then he started yelling saying I demanded too much and that I was a needy piece of shit and nobody could love me* That broke my heart and I said fine, then everything is done then. I'm not the guy you want and clearly you just used me to get something better. We hung up after a 4,5 hours long fight, and I broke down. I did something I hadn't done since I was a child: I cried myself to sleep Days came and went, the words haunting me, making me believe that I was worthless and unloveable. This is a feeling I have to this day, thanks to one guy I lost my faith in me, I lost my self worth.. my heart got crushed, and I am still feeling like crying, just because of one guy, just because I was used. Just because I exist. These are the thoughts running through my mind now, but also I am certain of one thing; boys do cry. It is good for you, but I also am looking at the future, being comfortable in my own skin and also shake it off... *he also called me the following but due to story elements I decided to add it here: ugly, fat, loser, weak, useless, worthless, selfish, annoying, unattractive, I should have killed myself, kill yourself, and he wanted me to lie down and die... Take this lesson: people change, the charming guy in front of you might not be your knight in shining armour, instead spend time to get to know them before you fall

Reblog this if you're gay and don't have a Valentine.

Let’s give London a try, shall we??

The cat looks so happy, it just seem like I want monies worked

What is life?

In life we face struggles, we face hardships and get rewarded for those with happiness, love and acceptance. Now strip away love and acceptance and what you are left with is temporary happiness. My life lately have involved dealing with sitting on the sidelines of my own life, watching others have love, have the acceptance that I want for myself. I've been the "relationship doctor" fir my friends with their relationships while I have none. My "friends" only see me when they need something from me, but when I need them, they disappear like everyone else in my life. It has left me afraid of being loved and let my defences down as everybody leaves me when I need them the most. Nobody sees the pain, my suffering, my cries for help because I hide it from everyone... I don't want to be a burden for anyone because as soon as I need something, they leave... I have on several occasions wanted to take my own life, but I haven't been able to do it.. as I know I will be alone, nobody would mourn me,nobody would care... Breaking down in tears like I am currently, it feels like I am weak, that I am nothing, I am not worth it... I am destined to walk alone,I am destined to be alone. This makes me feel like I have failed in life and moving away have thought me about one thing: life is worth living when you live for yourself. The scars I bear shows what I have been fighting. I am a fighter, a jaguar but I am also so alone. In the end life is a lonely existence and I just want to be loved

Shit my housemate says

Housemate: I wake up with handprints on my thighs

Me: how is that possible

Housemate: I touch myself in my sleep I guess

Me: are you sure those are your handprints?

Housemate: I really do hope so, as I don't like thinking that somebody else is touching me or my vagina..

Me: well that is certainly something