Well What Did Happen??

Well what did happen??

This is a conversation I've had with everybody when I told em the guy I was dating was yelling at me when I told him I wanted to see him more, at this point I hadn't seen him in 2-3 months due to me almost dying of blood poisoning and also going back to Norway to get the best treatment I could get... So under this I was honest and I told the truth, I told him I could have died and I went back home to make sure if I did, at least my family would be there... When I got back, we chatted on Snapchat and never on the phone. During December where I was supposed to spend with him, we talked and I asked him if we were still on for Christmas, he said no and that he wanted to see me during New Years. I said fine and celebrated Christmas with a good friend instead... New Years came around and I didn't hear from him until afterwards, I was all alone, feeling useless, worthless and friendless... I was lost so I called him, then he started yelling saying I demanded too much and that I was a needy piece of shit and nobody could love me* That broke my heart and I said fine, then everything is done then. I'm not the guy you want and clearly you just used me to get something better. We hung up after a 4,5 hours long fight, and I broke down. I did something I hadn't done since I was a child: I cried myself to sleep Days came and went, the words haunting me, making me believe that I was worthless and unloveable. This is a feeling I have to this day, thanks to one guy I lost my faith in me, I lost my self worth.. my heart got crushed, and I am still feeling like crying, just because of one guy, just because I was used. Just because I exist. These are the thoughts running through my mind now, but also I am certain of one thing; boys do cry. It is good for you, but I also am looking at the future, being comfortable in my own skin and also shake it off... *he also called me the following but due to story elements I decided to add it here: ugly, fat, loser, weak, useless, worthless, selfish, annoying, unattractive, I should have killed myself, kill yourself, and he wanted me to lie down and die... Take this lesson: people change, the charming guy in front of you might not be your knight in shining armour, instead spend time to get to know them before you fall

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