We'd Fight Alot,

We'd fight alot,

but we never remembered later what we fought for.

I feel it is beautiful how the content wasn't important,

but only how it made us feel.

After years of stern teenage, and hard opinions, I have realized I am more at peace when I am flexible and little soft on everything. If I am wrong, the bad guy, the toxic one, all it would take me is a little admittance, to myself and to the people in question. I believe the more effort we invest in trying to justify our actions, the more we disturb our peace within. What will it cost me? A little ego bruise that doesn't stand a chance before the settling peace within?

It is not necessary that everyone we are closely associated with, must know us like the back of their hands, or vice versa. Humans are fickle minded. We do not build our lives based on colossal hardened inscriptions. Instead, we are that unfinished literature, that is being written everyday, by everyone, and by all instances. No one can actually score a PhD on us, and we must not expect them too.

On that wide endless highway,

and barren, unknown land,

a tattered, bruised, broken soul,

Offered me his hand.

For once, I thought I am the savior,

to take him away to a sea,

But whoever he was waiting for,

I realised it wasn't me.

Sometimes we are just carriers,

to fetch and drop people off,

So when we learn we were used,

I believe, there's nothing to hate or scoff.

Who do I miss?

A person, place, hobby or environment? Or do I miss those shades of me, that I could never achieve. The traits I always wanted to inculcate, but my inner self always remained immune to. The traits that I still aspire to have, but I know my heart and mind will never align to accept and be the person that I find ideal. I will always be a crooked version of my imagination of myself. I miss the person I longed to be. I miss the person I'd never be.

Do I hate myself for what I turned out to be? No. None of us do.

Nobody must have the power to cure us. I feel, it is making ourselves too vulnerable to expect healing from an entirely different person. It points to so much emotional instability. So much weakness on our part. I feel people are just there to tell us again and again that it will be okay. And to assure that once we heal ourselves, they will be still waiting by the other side of the horizon, waiting for us to catch up with them.