Writertalks - Vanshika Singh - Tumblr Blog

I am writing an enemies to lovers trope. The characters are me and myself.

Do not walk away easily. Don't give up too soon. But when you do, make sure you erase your footsteps that you leave behind as you walk away. Make sure you forget the way of getting back from where you left. Make sure you don't put yourself through the same test again and again.

They said I won't fit here being the person I am. I decided to change things. Now I own a corner where I not only fit, but happily live.

I am in the middle of that road where you discover that no matter if we love/like/admire/adore a person, it gives them no right or license to put us down. We should never let anybody feed onto our insecurities, even if that means loosing that anybody. Because people gone leave a space that can be filled later on. But once that love for oneself leaves, it leaves not a void, but an abyss.

Oh the day I'll stop thinking of people as a vessel for measuring my worth!

I do not know if it counts -outside of tumblr- the mental struggle that I face everyday. The constant fight between the force to race and the force to live. I am not able to do these two simultaneously- race and live. Does this make me weaker than the rest? Or everyone has their own personal battlefields where they put up a strong face while crumpling within.

Them: What you upto these days?

Me: Constantly holding a fight with myself, not able to come in terms with everything around, not finding peace in any corner of my room and still determined to become the best of myself.

To allow people to treat you bad is the second biggest mistake. First is, the people themselves.

People often have callous ways to talk to us- even the ones who we are pretty much attached to. That is one issue. Another one is that we are expected to take all the callousness, rudeness and harsh treatment as a joke because they don't mean it. And if we allow ourselves to feel hurt, we are not cool enough. Being cool means laughing at things that should be scoffed at. Is it?!?

I need it viciously- for people to draw clear bold lines about jokes and seriousness. You don't get to joke about my insecurities. You don't get to call me mean things. You don't get to make me feel like an unimportant unworthy piece of ruin who deserves anything but kindness. Sorry, I don't approve.

To say I want all the material luxuries of the world is too old school. Instead, I want my own personal battlefield and a shiny sword in my hands. I want to fight like a warrior not with the people, but with the thoughts. The thoughts that cloud my mind, making attempts to conquer my consistently. The only problem - I am alone on my side and they have a huge army.

-Vanshika Singh, My Monologue with myself

-Vanshika Singh, My Monologue with myself

When I talk to myself, it makes more sense than my existence ever did.

I want to be authentic. A complete stranger to the world but authentic. Sticking out like a sore thumb, but authentic.

-Vanshika

Gustav Janouch, Conversations with Kafka

It's been raining all day. I'm not old yet but I'm not young either- stranded in a limbo of young adult. All my friends are cities away, and I'm wondering who I am. My friends are photos and texts. My friends are video calls on Friday nights, most anyways. My friends are one call away but my bones remember the miles between us, hundreds- even thousands. I'm not old yet, but my shoulders bear the weight of countless goodbyes. I'm not young either. I can place a call but I stare at the rain. I can send a text but I write a stupid poem.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

Sky or the canvas?

"Why the sky refuses,

to lose its colour,

get bleached,

and portray what our hearts feel?

Isn't this a betrayal,

on her part,

to refuse us the luxury,

to display our hearts to the world,

and drown itself in our misery?

Why it has to be so unbothered,

uncaring,

and bring new mornings each day,

making us stand out in the happy looking world?"

"How many hearts must she have?

Before she can feel ya cry?

And how many deaths must she die,

to show your blood on the sky?

Sometimes, your hearts want to laugh till they cry,

Sometimes, your hearts want to lay down and die.

One sky is common for countless of hearts,

Ain't she no illusion, no imagination of arts,

that she will look a mysterious mess of paints,

And like a lovely mother, hear each of yours complaints!"

-Vanshika

"I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while."

Haruki Murakami

Character Development

Gone through some vicious cycle,

A frequent breakage of trust?

A series of disappointments,

Dreams reduced to dust?

When shown your truest traits,

Been dismissed with disgust?

And yet when been your kindest self,

the world has been unjust?

Don't ponder much dear beautiful heart,

It's a little hard to adjust.

But once you get the flair of it, you'll know,

Character development is a must.

- Vanshika Singh

How much of a poet/writer I am?

Tonight, while I was sleeping after a long day, I dreamt the plot of my next best seller. The one from the genre, I didn't like much or I thought I didn't. The scenes were real and well executed. I guess my brain is more of a poet/writer than I will ever be.

-VS

I've never felt more pained after realising that I may be the one who's left behind. Those who were around me are probably having the best times of their lives while I am dead stuck to the memories that fade a little everytime I reminisce them. It is not good to be left behind. And it is even more bad to be left behind while under the illusion that I was the one to leave.

-VS

To find peace, sometimes we need to find our own corner in the world, away from intruding eyes, words and people. To bathe in our own warmth, and to bask in our own light. Too much crowd often force us to distort the love we hold in ourselves, for ourselves. Let that loneliness shape you into a beautiful pot, and let that individuality take charge of your life. The world is a society that would swallow us the moment we lose hold on ourselves.

-VS

I feel liberated at the thought of not looking back. As if looking back was holding me hard, to what I did not want to hold. It was scary for me to walk ahead, but scarier to stay back and be held.

-VS

I feel injured like it's the most common feeling of the day,

Like carrying that wound and walking around was not enough,

but feeling the real intensity, with the added burden will only make worth it.

-Vanshika