I Never Liked Chaos,

I never liked chaos,

but it was persistent to stay.

I've craved for peace,

only that it never crossed my way.

-V

At the end of the day, we all crave for recognitions. To be recognised as a perfect outcome of our parent's nurturing, or to be recognised as a good friend and companion, to be recognised as a good social element, or to called a worthy human. Everything revolves around this, someway or the other. What we miss on our part is to recognise the ones we should. 'My father without questions spends on my education, I am grateful for life.' , 'My friend texts me twice a month if I am okay, that always lifts my spirits.' , 'My cousin gives me a bear hug everytime we meet, I've never felt more comfortable anywhere in the world.' , 'My teacher punished me to write essays when I hated them, I love writing more than anything.' If only we said it all out aloud. If only we did not wait for people to feel our feelings from disguised, undercover actions but had enough courage to bare ourselves by pouring our recognitions for everybody. It takes a lot to feel, but it doesn't take much to say.

-V

"What are you?"

"A leafless branched tree.."

"...??"

"...naked to the wind."

"What 'Wind'!?"

"Life."

"When are your leaves coming back?"

"Everytime I am looked at."

Emotionally, I have always wanted to be my softer self. Intellectually, I wanted to hold an invisible sword. As always, I seemed to enjoy diving deep enough to hit the bottom.

There was a time in my life when I thought of myself as high and mighty, because I had no emotional attachment to my school. I was perplexed at the thought of why people spend so much time crying over a building. The two friends I had, and the two favourite teachers will always be with me, no matter the place. I did not love the walls, the classes or the playground, or the murals, or the auditorium. I felt safer and wiser loving people instead. And I was very satisfied with that because I was aware places are meant to be left behind. And that is what happened. I left school.

Now, years later, no matter what mindset I possess, whenever I pass through the familiar road and the street leading to my school comes in my view, my heart skips several beats. My mind goes, 'Hey! The same place we use to come everyday..'; 'The building didn't change much..' or 'That is the same bakery where I ate a chocolate truffle with my first pocket money'. And then I think to myself about how unconsciously we give place to so many things in our life, and they never leave. It was not in my hands to love my school.

I do not want to go back there in person. But I guess, I visit that place in my heart, more times than I'd like to admit.

-An excerpt from the autobiography I will never write.

"So? Who's the one with more walls?", I asked grinning. My point was proved.

Sighing loud, as if tired of being on the defensive side, "I don't know. But if no one delved deeper into me, I'd always find peace telling them that I am okay..."

(1/10)

-Vanshika