I Want Whatever This Is

I want whatever this is

Midnight Kisses

Pairing: Chan x reader

Genre: fluff, suggestive, romance, friends to lovers trope

Summary: You pay Chan a midnight visit in his studio, one thing leads to another and confessions get made.

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.3k

Author's note: Hii, this is my first work so it's not perfect haha. Also, english is not my first language so I apologise in advance if there are any mistakes, I've tried my best guys. I hope you enjoy!

It was a quiet night at the studio, Chan was working on some of his tracks, the lights were dimmed and the only sounds in the studio were the clicking of his mouse and some background music he had on, it was the perfect ambiance, it was so quiet and relaxing that he wasn't wearing his usual headphones, that's probably why he was able to hear the quiet knocks at his door, he looked at the time, wondering who could be knocking on his door at midnight, he reached to open it, when he saw you, all confusion was dissipated and his chest was filled with nothing but happiness, he smiled at you and he motioned to come in, to which you complied smiling warmly at him, that smile, that freaking smile that made him forget all of his problems.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”. He said teasing you, “I just came to make company and maybe, share a midnight snack? Honestly Chan, how long have you been working for, hm? Everyone needs a little break, especially an old man like you,”. You answered, teasing him back. “You’ve been hanging out a little too much with Seungmin”. He said looking at you with accusatory eyes, to which you just simply smiled at him, god had you missed him.

It wasn’t unusual for you to show up at his studio late at night, you also worked at the company as a songwriter and producer and spent a lot of time with the boys, especially with Chris, you participated in the making of a lot of their songs. Because of that, you found yourself spending a lot of time at the studio, staying until late working with Chan, to which Jisung and Changbin also joined you a lot of the time, but mostly it was you and Chan alone who stayed up until late in the night. Chan because he was a workaholic and because of his insomnia, and you because you liked to spend time with him.

Because of the time you two spent together, falling in love with him was bound to happen, and you tried so hard not to, but how could you not, his caring nature, his kind heart and his beautiful smile that made his eyes look like half moons made it impossible for you not to fall head over heels for him, and his dad jokes, how could you forget to mention his dad jokes. But you weren’t a fool, you knew how hard it was to date an idol, you swore yourself to never date an idol when you got in the industry, you swore it. But you also didn’t know a Bahng Christopher Chan back then, and if you were honest with yourself, Chan was worth it, Chan was worth breaking that promise, he was worth everything, if there was one boy who would ever be worth your tears, it was Channie.

When you came back from your thoughts you looked towards him, he was so focused on his computer, he had a slight frown and his lips were pouting just the tiniest bit, he looked so… ethereal, the dimmed lights showed his sharp features, you couldn’t help but stare.

“You’re staring”. You blinked, “No, I'm not”. “Yes you are”. He said, smirking slightly, “Shut up”. “Do I make you nervous darling?”. “You’d love that, wouldn't you Christopher”. You told him, smiling sarcastically, you didn’t receive an answer but you felt his piercing eyes on you, “Who’s staring now?” you retaliated, still you didn’t receive a response, when you looked at him, you noticed the darkness in his eyes, when your eyes connected with his, he looked away and coughed a little, “Wanna come check on the song?”. He said changing the subject, to which you gave a slight nod and sat by his side, he passed you his headphones and when his fingers brushed yours you swore your heart skipped a beat, you ignored the feeling and put on the headphones while he played the demo, you thought that the melody felt familiar until you realized it was red lights, confused, you looked at him, receiving only a sly smile back from him, you continued listening. You gasped when you heard the lyrics, the mutherfucker had literally recorded the explicit version of the song. When the recording came to an end he looked at you expectantly while you took off the headphones and handed them back to him.

“If you release this song you’ll no longer be able to tell stay that red lights is about traffic lights, you know? Also, I fucking knew you were the one who wrote it and not Hyunjin”. You told him, receiving a big laugh from him. “Shut up, no, but really, what do you think?”. “I think it's great, but do you really think that jypapi will let you release it?”. “Well, it won’t be easy, but with the right amount of convincing anything is possible.” 

While the clicking sounds clouded the little studio again, you decided to remain seated by his side, you didn’t notice the time passing, getting lost watching him work. When you turned to the clock you saw that it was already 3am, you didn't even notice that you had been there for three hours already, when you turned to look back at Chan you found him already staring back at you. But there was something different in his eyes, in the way he looked at you, you didn't know if it was the late hours, the quiet atmosphere or the tiredness, but something had changed, it was more tense.

You didn't even have time to think before his lips were on yours, it was soft, his lips moved slowly on yours, he was testing the waters, to see if you would pull away, when he felt you returning the kiss he deepened it, his lips felt like heaven on earth, you felt like the air was kicked out of your lungs, it was too much; his breath, his lips on yours, the warmth of his body embracing yours. His hands went from cupping your face to your waist where he rested them for some seconds before lowering them towards your hips, which he grabbed and dragged you, situating you on his lap, you couldn't help but moan slightly at his sudden move, earning a groan from him. His lips then kissed your jaw and went down to your neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin there, getting whines from you in return while you locked your hands on his hair and pulled his roots, his hands tightened even more on your hips due to your actions.

When he finally looked back at your eyes you couldn’t bother to hide the smile that creeped on your lips, mirroring his.

“I know we skipped some steps in the middle but I would really like to take you on a date”. He whispered while tucking a few strands of your hair behind your ear. Suddenly, you were at a loss of yours, it felt like a dream, everything was so perfect, you couldn't help but imagine that this was really happening, unable to say anything you just nodded lightly. “Words darling, I need you to use your words”. “Sure”. Your voice broke while saying that simple word, receiving a chuckle from him that you copied, that chuckle became a soft laugh until you both were laughing loudly in each other's arms. It was perfect, maybe tomorrow it wouldn’t, but today it was, and that is what matters, everything was perfect, he was perfect.

crying rn, don't mind me😚🤞

NOW WHY IS THIS SO SAAAAAAAAAD?!😭

PLEASE DO TAG ME IN THE 2ND PART OF THE BET!

(At skl rn but oh well)

Omg I’m sorry😭 Don’t cry, just look up to the sky and say, “Bom digi digi digi bom bom bom”

Bc it’s angst😃 and I specialize in that😘

I will tag u boo dw

I'm actually crying bc Yuna didn't make it on A2K

Somebody slap me so I can finish my ksm fic PLSSSSS

When Summer Comes To An End

Pairing: Felix x gn!Reader

Genre: Angst/fluff, high school!au, college!au, first love, friends to lovers to exes to strangers

Warnings! Language, slightly suggestive, tears, death, car crash

WC: 885 Summary: When summer ends, it reminds you of your sweet first love, Felix. You were young and foolish and let go of something you should have cherished. But now, you want to focus on what lies ahead of you instead of what haunts you from the past.

Author’s note: Well skl finna start soon and I was like, “y not?” so yeh. !!NOT PROOF READ!! Also, I am not implying that the said idol is behaves anything close to what is written here(more specifically the angsty part)

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It’s that time of the year again. You know that it’ll come around as soon as summer starts. If you could go back, you’d do it all over again and you’d try your best to fix your mistakes. He was everything to you yet you let it all go. Maybe if that didn’t happen. Maybe if this didn’t happen. Maybe if…

It was your freshman year of highschool and you were new to town. Felix was the first to approach you with a bright smile on his face. He was a grade higher than you which meant he was a sophomore. At first, you wanted to keep to yourself but you couldn’t find it in yourself to refuse his kindness. So the two of you ended up becoming friends. You guys were similar in every way possible, except the fact that he was more extroverted. Felix was a warm ball of sunshine who radiated happiness. He easily made friends and just knew the right ways to make someone feel comfortable. You, however, kept quiet and if you really tried, you could become invisible to others eyes. You didn’t like interacting with people and when you did it was always extremely awkward. But, both of you loved to play games, especially Genshin Impact, and when the two of you weren’t playing games, you would put on some songs and let your bodies flow free.

Since he was your only friend, you were over at his house frequently. Plans usually started out as studying but would eventually just become a competition in Genshin and who could pass more levels. You knew Felix as well as he knew you because the both of you grew really close. 

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One day, when you guys were having a tickling match, Felix ended up on top of you, both breathless, his hands pinning yours beside your head, staring into each other's eyes. You felt your face heat up and your heartbeat accelerate. You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes flicker from your eyes, to your lips and back.

You gulp loudly. “Felix..?”, you pretty much squeak. “I-I-I think– Please don’t say anything.” Felix cuts you off. He leans down and hides his face in the crook of your neck. “I don’t want to wake up if this is a dream. I-I’m scared that you won’t feel the same way.”

“Felix…”

“Can you just reject me so I can move on? So I will stop having these delusions of us being more than friends.”

“...Felix…”“You're better than anything I could possibly wish for, Y/n. I just hope this is a dream because if it’s not then this is so embarrassing. I wish you could just like me back. Plea–”

“I do.”

“What?”

“I do love you, Lee Felix. More than whatever’s going on in that dream of yours.” You confess your love to him and he’s dumbfounded. He begins rambling again. “This must be a dream. There’s no way Y/n would actually say something like that. She’d never see me in that light–”

“FELIX!!”, you yell out his name. He lifts his head and stares at you in shock. You grab his face with both of your hands. “Focus on me and quit rambling. This isn’t a dream and I won’t reject you. Because I love you too. I’ll repeat it as many times as I have to. I love you, Felix. I love love love love love you. More than words can express.”

Felix takes in a shaky breath before letting out a relieved sigh. Suddenly you feel some tears fall onto you. You wipe his tears away, a little worried, until you see his smile. “Did I just move Lee Felix to tears?”, you tease. He looks back up at you with a pout. “Shut up.”

You had a sweet relationship with Felix. People around you called y'all lovebirds and claimed that you guys had such sappy puppy love. Both you and Felix denied it but we all knew the truth. The first few years were the best. Secret kisses, stolen glances, and hidden hickies. It was all until graduation came around. Everyone would think that that’s fine. Except it wasn’t because only Felix was graduating and you would be left alone.

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“I-I d-don’t want you to leave me. Y-you’re gonna go find some other girl and forget about me. You won’t remember how much I love you.” You cried into his arms on his graduation day. You didn’t want him to leave you behind. Felix soothed your hair and hushed you. He pulled you impossibly closer to his chest. “It’s ok sweetness. I actually have a surprise for you.” You looked up at him curiously. “Wh-what is it?”, you asked. He softly smiled, still holding you close and said, “I’m going to take a year off of school so that we can go to college together.” You just stared at him in disbelief. You couldn’t believe it. “W-what? Baby, you can’t do that. Even for me. You need to get your education.”

“Shh, shh, sweetness. I’m choosing this because I love you. I’m choosing this for us.”, he reassured you. “Okay?” You nodded your head and wiped your tears away. He hugged you even tighter and put his chin over your head. “You know…”, he started. “Hmm?”, you replied. “...you’re so cute when you act like that. ~I don’t want you to leave me~”, he imitated you.

You pushed him away with a pout. “You just ruined the mood.” All he could do was chuckle at your remark.

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When you finally graduated, Felix was the first one there to congratulate you. You ran into his embrace as he picked you up and spun you around. He immediately peppered you in kisses. You giggle at his antics. “I’m so proud of you, sweetness. You know that?”

“Yes, yes, I know, Lixie. I love you so much.” You placed a small kiss on his nose. He smiled widely and let out a cheeky chuckle. “I’ll show you how much I love you tonight.” You slapped him on the arm as he headed toward the car his parents bought him a few weeks back. “FELIX!! STOP!! NO!! HELP!!”

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The shared apartment that you moved into with Felix seemed almost perfect for you guys. It took the both of y’all a full two weeks to finally finish moving in and another two to finish decorating and setting up. You guys were the definition of a perfect couple so when obstacles came, they were unexpected.

You were both busy with your own studies and on top of that, your part-time jobs. Y’all wanted to at least support yourselves in some way. The deal was that Felix would go out for groceries and you would cook. Then study sessions and movie nights on friday. But suddenly, Felix started falling behind but you brushed it off as him being stressed. A week became two. Then a month. Then three months. You became worried so you tried to check up on Felix.

“Hey, baby.”, you said when he arrived home. “Lixie? Sunshine? My love?” He continued to ignore you. “Baby come eat.”, you said, worried. “I’m not hungry.”, he grumbled. 

“You know that’s not healthy. At least have a bite.”

“I’m good.”

“Please, Lixie. Just a bite.”

He was slowly growing irritated. “I said I’m not hungry alright!”, he lashed out at you.

Your breath hitched in your throat. “Sorry, I was just worried.” You looked down at your hands.

“Well being sorry won’t change the fact that you’re being annoying!”, he yelled at you. You looked at him in shock. “What?” Your patience was growing thin. “I’ve had enough today! Now I have to come home and listen to your nagging ass. No one’s giving me a fucking break today!”

He rubbed his temples and sighed heavily. “What!?”, you asked a little more loudly. “WHAT THE FUCK Y/N!!! YOU HEARD ME ALREADY!! Just shut your FUCKING MOUTH and leave ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!” You couldn’t believe your ears. “Are you being serious right now? I’M FUCKING WORRIED BECAUSE YOU DON”T WANT TO EAT SUDDENLY AND NOW I’M GETTING THIS BULLSHIT!!! ME CARING FOR YOU IS WHAT YOU CALL NAGGING!?!? YOU KNOW WHAT!? FUCK YOU AND YOUR PROBLEMS!!” You stormed off angrily to your shared bedroom. “FUCK YOU TOO!!!”, you heard Felix yell back before the slam of the front door.

It was a good two hours before you finally calmed down and your tears stopped falling. You realized you never heard Felix come back home and it was already 8pm. You decided to step out of the room and wait for him on the sofa. But now you’ve been waiting for hours and it’s almost already 12am. He must’ve gone to his friend's house, is all you summed it up to.

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Early in the morning you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. You rubbed your eyes and reached to grab your phone from the nightstand. Not even checking the I.D, you pick up.

“Hello?”, you say groggily. You checked the time and it was still two in the morning.

The other end replies, “Hello. Is this Ms. Y/n l/n?”

“Yes, this is.”

“You have been listed as the guardian and emergency contact of Mr. Felix Lee. We need you to immediately come to the hospital. There are some things to be discussed and–” You hang up on the caller and you get dressed as fast as possible.

You get to the hospital quickly and you rush to find where Felix was. God, you hoped he was okay. You managed to get some information on him but all it was, was that he was still in the ER. You began panicking as you frantically called his parents. You knew it was very very early morning but you needed them to know too. Just in case, is what you told yourself. But you also knew that you just didn’t want to face this alone. They quickly came and they were panicking just as much as you were.

Everytime a nurse or doctor came out, you rushed to their side asking about Felix’s condition. But all you got was, “We’re trying ma’am.” As soon as you saw the sign above the ER go off, you got up and went to the door. The doctor came out, taking his mask off his face. “S-so..?”, you asked, still afraid of his answer. The doctor looked at you with sympathy in his eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss.” You broke down in tears and you felt your knees going weak, dropping to the floor. Your tears saw no sign of stopping. You couldn’t believe it. Felix was gone, just like that. Your warm ball of sunshine was gone and and a-and it was because… it was because of you…

You scrambled to your feet and ran over to Mrs. Lee apologizing over and over and over. “I-It’s all my fault. I was arguing with him before he left a-and he must’ve drank because of the frustration I caused him. He crashed because he was angry at me. I was the reason for all of this.” Mrs. Lee consoled you saying that it wasn’t your fault and that what happens, happens.

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It’s been three years since the incident. You tried your best to move on but everything reminded you of him. Now the end of summer is arriving. But your summer truly ended three years ago. You walk to his grave and you place some irises down. Felix’s favorite flowers. “Hi, Felix. It’s me again. I hope you’re doing well. I love you. Always. Summer isn’t the same anymore.”

“You were my sun and I lost it. With no sun, there is no summer. Goodbye, my summer.”

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This is my first ff I've written and I would really like some feedback or tips to improve my writing. If you've found this and read, ty very much! (✿◕‿◕✿)

Bark

boys with long hair, reblog if you agree