The Foxes Kids And Andreil (this Is So Long But I Dont Care!)

the foxes’ kids and andreil (this is so long but i don’t care!)

none of the foxes’ children qualify for the team, which is all that matters

they have been taught from a very early age that both uncle andrew and uncle neil have been hurt by bad people, and that means they don’t always like to be touched

the kids are usually really good with it because they understand in their very simple, youthful way, but sometimes they do slip up

it’s pretty widely accepted that andrew is better with kids than neil

one time amalia (kevin and thea’s daughter) gets so excited to see andrew after months apart she runs and jumps on him

kevin has a 2-second heart attack, but andrew obediently picks her up and listens as she rambles on about watching him play on TV and how he’s the best goalie ever and she thinks he should have a statue-

neil gets better with them as they get older, he’s just easily overwhelmed by their energy sometimes and has no idea how to track all the different conversations happening around him

but all his friends know he loves their kids fiercely and they’re perfectly happy to send them on short trips with him to the grocery store for ice cream and such

they usually come back with more than that because the kids figure out they just have to look at neil with big eyes and he’s like “ok yeah we can get a whole sheet cake, too”

“neil what the fuck” “dan, he said it’s your birthday” “neil i know you know when my birthday is”

when they’re little, the best thing neil can do is play a very toned down version of exy with them in the backyard when they all get together

this is especially good with allison’s mansion because there’s so much space, and she always has a table of snacks and drinks waiting off to the side that nicky just stands by and continuously eats from

all the parents have photos of neil teaching their kids how to hold rackets or pointing at the goal and gesturing while their kids stare up at him adoringly

andrew always watches because the sight of neil josten, fastest player in the us major leagues, taking tiny steps so as to not outrun a six year old is probably the best thing in the world

when allison’s youngest comes out as trans, andrew switches to calling her ashleigh and using the right pronouns immediately and without a hitch

aaron and katelyn end up having kids a bit later than everyone else, but surprise surprise they’re twin girls

it is no secret they are andrew’s favorite and no one is mad about it

they have the same blonde hair and they’re so small and fragile and he would set the world on fire for them

it brings him and aaron closer together, too

the girls are good at telling them apart, but sometimes one of them will go “daddy?” and andrew replies “try again” without missing a beat

they pick it up! aaron will be tired after a long day of doctoring and mix them up and they’ll say “try again” 

andrew is amused

whenever renee’s son spends time in the hospital or is at home on bed rest, andrew will send him long, handwritten letters about anything and nothing at all

no one else knows about the letters, but they make renee cry

when the kids get older and start their Angsty Teenage Years, they turn to aunt allison and uncle andrew to be angry

andrew’s apathy helps, because sometimes you just need someone to listen and let you feel things

one time amalia randomly calls andrew in a rage about how “dad is so obnoxious sometimes, oh my god, i cannot stand him and i’m outside right now because i just need space and i know everyone says i have to be patient with him but-” 

“you’re absolutely right, he’s an asshole”

it makes her stop frustration crying to laugh, then she’s quiet for a while, and then she says she’s going to go back in and talk to her dad

a while later kevin is visiting and talking about a terrible screaming match and the heart-to-heart they had after and he thinks he said something that was meaningful and got through to make her apologize

he doesn’t get why neil finds it so funny, he is actually a very wise and thoughtful father thank you very much

neil takes putting up the kids’ drawings on the fridge very seriously and andrew has to assure him they will not be hurt if the corner of someone else’s paper is covering theirs

neil also always agonizes over gifts, he’s so afraid of buying things they don’t like

sometimes andrew finds him just standing in front of the calendar where all their birthdays are neatly marked, frowning like he’s analyzing another team’s stats

andrew usually ends up doing all of it because it makes neil way too stressed

one of aaron’s girls gets a boyfriend in her junior year of high school that actually ends up cheating on her

it’s sad but she says it’s not that big of a deal because she wasn’t in love with him and she’s always been very mature about these things

after a healthy cry with katelyn she gets up and jokes about calling uncle andrew because that’s what all her “cousins” do when they’re in crisis

yes all the kids call each other cousins because they’re that close

aaron, who’s cooking dinner, thinks “aw that’s cute”

but then he realizes

and he flings himself into her room shrieking “nO NO DO NOT DO NOT TELL UNCLE ANDREW”

andrew, from the phone: “don’t tell me what”

aaron retreats, accepting his role in a possible crime, but he hovers out in the hall to listen in

there seems to be too much laughter for murder, so aaron prays it’s fine

the next day the girls return from school full of glee because someone slashed her ex’s tires right before dismissal!! no one knows who!! everyone is buzzing about it!!

“andrew did you really drive several hours to ruin some teenager’s car” “you don’t have any proof, and it was neil”

part 3 of my neil and the foxes headcanons coming soon! you can find them and more in the aftg headcanon tag on my blog :)

I see Himbo Worship posts left and right but no one seems to want to honor the one who originally fought for Himbo Rights

the foxes + getting invited on a tv baking competition for charity (yes this was inspired by gbbo yes there is no reality in which this would even happen and yes i decided to make one)

the way the show works is each of the foxes picked a charity to represent, and the audience can donate to any of them while watching through a link

but the winner will also be given $10,000 for their specific organization at the end

all the foxes get their own work station, and they are not allowed to sabotage/otherwise interfere with each other but they may help/encourage if they so choose

their challenge is: make an elaborate three-tiered cake with at least three different flavors, and it has to be exy themed

the cameras float around to get comments from the foxes as they start getting to work

people that are here to have fun and maybe win: nicky, renee, matt

people who are here to win: allison, kevin, aaron, dan

people who are just here: neil, andrew

neil, immediately: “i am, as the kids say, lost in the sauce” 

kevin feels the same but he’d never admit that out loud so he’s just frowning down at the hyper organized 10-page packet he prepared with the recipe and incredibly detailed diagrams

allison is running around in sky high stilettos and somehow making it work

the cameras keep on zooming in on them because it’s just so impressive and she bends down to look into the lens and say “i know they’re nice (they’re jimmy choo) but you know what’s nicer? my caramel buttercream” 

the producers ask nicky how he’s planning to capture the exy theme

“my first thought was my flavors should be blood, sweat, and tears but that, like, won’t taste good at all” 

renee is totally in her element, humming a little to herself and gently encouraging her friends while they lose their minds

she’s describing her cake with great detail and all matt has to say about his is “it’s gonna be sweet, i guess” 

dan and matt keep on helping each other even though they kinda shouldn’t be and they know they shouldn’t be but it’s literally just such a reflex for them at this point in their relationship

matt stretches out on his stomach on the ground by the oven, ankles crossed, singing “please bake well please bake well please-” “babe you have decorations to make” “oh wait you’re so right”

kevin, to the cameras: “dan just let matt borrow her vanilla extract, they should be disqualified” *five seconds later* “neil can i have that spoon-” 

neil: “no <3” 

aaron is a 5 foot tall ball of stress and competitiveness and he is whisking up a meringue like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

what is andrew doing during all of this? reading his recipe, following it, doing what you do when you make a cake, completely ignoring everyone else but also antagonizing them as much as possible

andrew, with sarcasm: “you can do it, aaron!” 

aaron, with spite: “i cannot do it, thanks”

*neil stares into the camera*

nicky burns the top layer of one of his cakes but he can’t find his knife so he panics and that’s how he ends up trying to saw through it with scissors while matt guides him even though he literally has a knife

it’s….not a very even slice

(andrew snatched nicky’s knife while he was walking to the fridge, no one noticed)

dan is making an exy helmet out of rice krispy treats because “that’s how they do it on cake boss” 

neil has very fine motor skills and very steady hands so he’s piping icing like he’s been doing it his whole life and everyone is so jealous

allison burns her finger trying to make ganache and renee drops everything to go check on her and make sure she’s okay and they’re being so cute and disgustingly in love

andrew, slapping globs of frosting all over his cake: “losers” 

neil, cuts his finger while shaping fondant: “ow” 

andrew, teleporting over: “you IDIOT-”

matt tells kevin his cake is burning even though all his cakes are out of the oven and currently being assembled but he still freaks out anyways

the five minute warning is given and several people scream at the exact same time for the same amount of time

aaron: “we have to stop spending time with each other” 

all of the foxes manage to finish a cake (or something resembling one) and present it to the judges

people whose cakes taste and look good: renee, andrew, aaron

people whose cakes look good: allison, neil, kevin

people whose cakes taste good: matt, dan

people whose cakes are neither: nicky (he tried his best)

renee designed her cake so that all the layers have been covered in a super artsy collage of rackets, jerseys, helmets, and PSU foxes flags, so she wins

the producers decide to include some “candid footage” as the credits are rolling, and it’s all the foxes trying each other’s cakes before the crew cleans up

andrew takes tiny bites of everyone’s, but when he gets to renee’s he cuts a fat slice and she smiles at him

matt tries neil’s and he LOVES it and the cameras zoom in on matt gushing over it while neil beams up at him all proud and happy

Back to the Blue Side

neil, andrew, matt, and kevin + pro league shenanigans

matt’s the first one to go pro (because he graduates first) and he is both extremely excited and extremely nervous

because by that point, the foxes are a UNIT and they already lost the girls and now matt is going and they know they’ll keep in touch but it’s still so scary

halfway through his first season, wymack and andrew drive the remaining foxes (neil, aaron, kevin, nicky) to surprise matt at one of his games

he finds them literally the moment he steps onto the court

out of a crowd of thousands

it probably helps that nicky and neil and aaron were screaming and waving and jumping up and down

and kevin was also featured on the big screen

matt stops the opposing team from scoring in the last second, securing victory, and in the middle of all the applause he points his racket at them

andrew and kevin are the next to sign on to a team, but they’re states apart from each other

they still find time to occasionally meet up and constantly talk on the phone

but on the court it’s all hostility

more like kevin’s hostile and andrew calmly flips him off or just puts his gloved hands over his helmet like he’s covering his ears

neil doesn’t miss a single one of their games, and abby sends the foxes photos of him watching one of kevin’s games vs one of andrew’s

kevin’s game: *pure concentration, mentally taking notes, very serious*

andrew’s game: *HEART EYES*

a video goes viral of kevin doing post game press and matt popping his head in the doorway to interrupt

“hey, kevin!!” “yes?” “just wanted to say i love you :)” 

*deep, deep sigh* “i love you, too”

that’s when the internet gets to see kevin’s Press Smile turn into his Real Smile

another video also goes viral of andrew and matt sitting on a panel together and andrew, blank faced, leans over to whisper something in matt’s ear

he almost falls over because he’s laughing so hard

the moderator is like “what did he say??” and matt’s still incoherent while andrew replies “i didn’t say anything”

neil is the #1 draft pick his senior year, and he signs to his first choice team

he’s a few hours away from andrew, so they see each other on the weekends and they’re out at that point and don’t care if people spot them together

not that they really cared beforehand, but now they have publicists and managers to answer to

there is one memorable interview where neil is asked “so, what’s the best thing about andrew?” and it’s clear they want some ~relationship gossip~

neil, who knows exactly what he’s doing: “where do i begin? he’s the best goalkeeper in the world. why? allow me to go through all of his player stats from the past 3 years-”

neil’s team is playing kevin’s and there is so much hype because they’re the top strikers in the US and they’re about to throw down

basically all the sport channels suddenly have to invest in a french translator because…they’re Shouting Very Furiously at each other

(in a cozy living room in LA, jean is cackling at the insults while jeremy demands he tell him now!! i don’t want to wait for the translations!!! kevin’s face is literally turning red!!!! TELL ME!!!!!)

afterward neil and kevin stalk over to each other and everyone collectively holds their breath for a fight but no, it’s just a “reluctant” hug

when neil and andrew face off, andrew does not allow him a single point. not one. 

some reporter: “considering he hasn’t managed to score all night, josten seems awfully happy” 

matt makes everyone play rock paper scissors with him during down times on the court (teams filing on, before leaving for halftime, etc)

one could say andrew doesn’t seem into it, but he takes off his gloves so he can move his fingers properly and it makes matt very happy

matt and neil get into full on WARS that stop the moment actual playing begins and resumes immediately when it ends

reporters like to ask them about what the victory tally is so far and they give very serious updates

kevin, who is the most competitive man alive, is torn between telling matt off for not focusing 100% and Needing To Win

he does both, but mostly the last one

their teams play each other at the championships, and at the end they’re like ok kevin won exy BUT who will win rock paper scissors????

matt uses scissors when kevin throws paper and kevin, from the other end of the court, screams “NO” and then keels over

the clip of matt kneeling by him, cry-laughing and trying to pet his hair while kevin bats him away, gets a 2 minute “here’s some positivity” segment on the evening news

at the end of the day, the boys have nothing but good things to say about each other, and they will absolutely destroy reporters to defend their friends’ honor 

more long headcanons! the foxes and their victory trip

after everything is sorted out with the ravens and the moriyamas, the foxes are finally free to do what they want

allison wants to give neil complete control over choosing where they go, because no one else really cares and they just want to be together

but neil is very indecisive and overwhelmed with friendship and relief

renee puts a world map up over a bulletin board and she hands him some darts and tells him to throw it blindfolded and see what happens

andrew ties his bandana over his eyes and they all wait behind them

first one lands in the ocean, then alaska, then japan

neil tries to see the last one but andrew yanks the bandana back down and everyone else is shrieking “nO! IT’S FINE!! KEEP THROWING!!!”

he’s a bit flummoxed by their strong response but okay

his sixth and last dart lands on hawaii

nicky is practically vibrating with excitement and aaron has to force him to cool it because it’s on neil and everyone knows he has a thing against the beach, they don’t know why but they won’t ask

neil thinks for a moment and allison almost plucks the darts out to try again, but he gives a little nod and follows her out to call sarah

in the hall neil describes what he thinks would be good, and it’s the complete opposite of everything he associates with his mother’s death

allison repeats it all perfectly to sarah, then shows photos to neil again a couple hours later to confirm he’s alright with it

andrew gives him a look when he asks if he’ll be okay flying for that long so neil drops it

next week they’re all heading to the airport, with a surprisingly willing kevin because he is also overwhelmed with freedom and still high on their win and the season’s over so why not?

it is, to no one’s surprise, a clusterfuck

getting to texas is fine, even with allison’s small mountain of luggage and everyone being too afraid to ask andrew about his knives but he somehow gets through just fine

this false security will be their downfall

they have two hours to walk around until they can catch their flight to honolulu

aaron’s on the phone with katelyn and dan takes a video of him grinning and leaning against the window while he listens to her

matt makes smoochy noises and aaron flips him off

neil, nicky, kevin, and andrew all go off in search of food

it just so happens that there are exy fans by a mcdonald’s and kevin gets swarmed

he puts on his Press Face even though he was literally just shouting at nicky about ancient greece

“no they weren’t just gay, nicky!! there was certainly homosexuality but there was philosophy, too!!”

the fans ask him about riko’s “suicide” and the investigation into the ravens, but before he can have a panic attack dan calls them to frantically say the gate has changed and they have thirty minutes to get there

half an hour would be a lot to anybody but to this dysfunctional family that’s absolutely nothing

except no one can find neil? he somehow slipped past andrew?

they sprint back to where the upperclassmen are and they’re all freaking out because what if it’s another mafia thing and they’re not finished with him-

andrew won’t let anyone get security involved and of course neil’s phone is off and they’re now calling wymack out of desperation

with five minutes left before they have to be at their gate, neil finally shows up and they’re all like BRO

he stands in confusion while the girls pat him down for injuries and andrew just barely manages not to punch him

then they finally notice what he’s holding and he presents steaming hot paper bags from auntie anne’s

“i wanted to get us pretzels, but andrew doesn’t like the salt or plain ones, so i had to wait for the cinnamon sugar ones. and the line was really long.” 

everyone’s just staring at him

“i also asked them to put extra cinnamon sugar”

more silence

then there’s a warning call for the flight and there’s no time to yell at him so they’re all scrambling to get to the new gate

andrew just grabs neil by the hoodie and drags him along

it takes a good hour before everyone can truly calm down on the plane

kevin and aaron try to order vodka but renee silently puts a pretzel in their hands

aaron: “i hate this fucking family”

dan takes a selfie of all of them to send to wymack and abby

andrew is furious about what neil did and neil feels bad so he just holds his hand for the whole flight under a blanket

when they land they’re all super disoriented so they go straight to the massive beach house allison has gotten them

it has its own private stretch of sand and a big porch and the water is so clear and blue

matt and aaron repeatedly dunk kevin while andrew and neil watch from where they’ve set up folding chairs

“ANDREW AREN’T YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING?” “no, i don’t think i will”

they take surfing lessons and poor matt is too tall to really get the hang of it but neil…neil is amazing

neil’s really got an excellent set of abs and he may be small but he’s very in tune with his body

andrew refuses to get on a surfboard because he prefers watching neil anyway

nicky, renee, dan, and matt LOVE laughing at their white friends and the absolutely terrible sunburns they develop

except for allison, who has somehow tanned beautifully

wymack’s phone gets spammed with photos of neil just like trying to eat his breakfast or sit on the sand but his cheeks and nose are bright pink and it’s kinda adorable

they play drinking games and go on hikes and one night neil falls asleep on andrew and nicky snaps a sorta blurry photo

andrew somehow manages to swipe nicky’s phone, send it to himself, and then delete the evidence

they stroll around the touristy areas to watch the hula dancing and window shop and eat shaved ice

on their last night, they set up a little bonfire on the beach and sit around

neil tells them this is his favorite trip he’s ever taken

wymack frames a photo of them throwing neil into the water and puts it up on the wall by their trophy