2 Minus 1 - Tumblr Posts

Can’t get you out of my head.

Joshua one shot

Pairing: Joshua Hong x Female reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.2K

Author’s Note: After I watched one tweet (i added the link below, you can check it out), it just gave me idea to write, I just wanted to write, although I don’t know how it turned out, hope it didn’t turn out bad. I tried, to write something also the way Joshua was singing this part >>>>

Happy reading :)

Once, the concert was over, I saw everyone leaving. They left, Joshua left as well. They already went to the backstage. I was watching everyone leave one by one, after the venue was almost empty, I got up from my seat and started walking.

“Ity, Joshua invited us to the backstage, let’s go” Brendon told me, I shook my head. Our friends knew about us and they knew how I avoid everything related to him. “I don’t think I should go, he might get upset.” I told him, “Ity, you will be meeting him after eight years, do you really want to miss this chance? It’s been more than eight years” I wanted to say no, I wanted to tell Brendon that no I don’t want to miss this chance because I really want to meet him. but even before I could reply him anything, Daisy held my hand and started walking, I couldn’t even protest. I just found myself walking wherever my friends were going specially Daisy, since she was holding my wrist.

There were two ways, one led to exit another was for backstage. I looked to the way that led to the backstage and sighed. It reminded me of the way Joshua and I had an eye contact when he was singing ‘2 minus 1’ I was looking at him and when walked to the other side of the stage while singing, my eyes couldn’t leave him. I wondered did he notice me, because I saw his eyes softened a bit when he saw me then again, he left that place and started singing with Vernon and the way he sang his lines

“I can’t get out of my head, yeah!

Gotta get you out of my head, yeah

how can you be so fine when I’m I’m I’m”

I could never forget the expression and the look on his face. I could never. Somewhere it felt like he was telling me he was fine, while singing the song and then as if he told me I must be fine but he couldn't get me out of his hand and as if telling me he never thought I would be this fine after we broke up. I saw him after almost eight years, after distancing myself from his world. All these years I wanted to stop myself thinking about him but how could I erase and forget a person who was supposedly my first love and gave me my best memories, I don’t cry anymore like I used to do, I stopped crying over him but the longing feelings which I always had, it was always inside me. Even today when I saw him on stage, I realized how I was always on denial and I actually missed him more than anything. How could I not when he was my youth, when he left me at 18, broke up with me, I broke into pieces. All the trust I had ever put in a guy, Joshua took away everything, I gave all of me to him and he left me there.

Alone.

After few months when I got to know he left LA, I was broken mess.

And I was insane when I got the front tickets for today’s concert. I don’t know why I impulsively did it back then when the tickets were on sale but I brought the tickets. After I brought the ticket, I got to know my highschool friends were going as well. I told Brendon, I got my ticket and he suggested that it would be nice if we could go and come back together. I agreed to it. After the concert ended, Brendon texted me to wait where I was and he would come and we could go meet Joshua in backstage. And here I am walking towards the backstage, I have no idea how would he react to see me. I wanted to tell myself to stay calm but my heart was beating insane. He came back to LA after three years, last time when he came, it was for Seventeen’s concert.

“Ity, trust me, you would feel better after you meet him” I heard Brendon say this to me, I tried smiling but then I heard a voice, “hey guys” and I froze. Daisy let go of my wrist.

“Hey Josh” I heard Brandon say, I saw him walking towards him and hugging him tight. I saw him walking towards me and Daisy, he was smiling. The moment his eyes met mine, I felt he wanted to say something. Those innocent and pure eyes, which I can never forget because I always saw my whole universe in his eyes. “Did you guys enjoy?” we all nodded, the fact this was my first time meeting him in these eight years and I was trying to be okay. He smiled so big, his cute little eyes, making me fall in love again, I wanted to tell him I missed him.

“this was Ity’s first time” Brandon said and Joshus nodded, and scratched the back of his neck. “also can I click pictures with your members?” he nodded.

“Of course, you can, they are just inside that room, go on” Brandon and Daisy started walking. I was left there with Joshua, we were alone. I thought he would leave with them but he didn’t rather he took a step towards me.

“Hope you’re doing fine” I managed to look into his eyes, when he said that. “hmm” I wanted to deny it, tell him, nothing is same after you left, I completed my studies and now I am working but look at me still longing for your hugs, your kisses, your embrace, and your love.

“you looked happy”, I told him and tried to smile. I was stopping myself from crying, because I saw my ex after eight years. And all the memories flashed infront of me, as if I was watching a replay of our moments and then it stopped when we broke up, the way he broke up and left.

Unknowingly I was stepping back, and soon I felt my back touching the wall, I saw him taking steps towards me, “Ity” the way he called my name, was making me weak and telling me to cry.

“Shua, no” as if I knew what was he going to tell me next, he was going to break me again. even after all these years, I still couldn’t stop loving him, he was always there with me.

“I… I…” he looked hesitant “I regret leaving you.”

“Shua stop, you can’t do this. not after eight years” I was trying to hold back my tears but my voice was already trembling, this was the thing I wanted to avoid. After we broke up, we avoided eachother, but I always wanted to know what was the reason he left me here, what was the problem? Was I the problem? I hated to admit it but I knew I would break down in front of him once he calls my name. there was still a soft spot for him in my heart and I knew somewhere I still loved him and couldn’t love anyone else till now.

“When I looked at you while performing, that moment I got my confirmation, I regretted leaving you. And I wanted to tell you the truth, all these years I kept on thinking about you, and couldn’t stop myself from thinking about you. At times when I couldn’t get you out of my head, I asked my friends how you’re doing, they said you’re living well, and you’re fine. You smile, you laugh, you enjoy your life. I wanted to tell you, I was hurt and I love what I do but…” don’t do this to me Joshua Hong, please don’t. I will break again and won’t be able to let go of you.

“All this success is nothing if you’re not here to share with me” he stepped closer, “I can’t do this anymore, I want to share everything with you Ity” tears already started falling, how much I tried to stop. How much courage I gathered up so that I could face him today but everything felt like it crumbled down.

“Ity” again he called my name. He held my shoulders and made me look at him, his eyes reminded me of how he broke up with me that day.

“Ity let’s stop it here, I can’t do this anymore. You and me, we shouldn’t date. We should stop here.” and he walked away.

I cried more, his grip tightened, on my shoulders and then pulled me into his embrace. I wanted to hold him tight and cry more, I wanted to tell him I missed him more, he can never imagine how much I missed him ever since that day, that moment. I felt my shoulder getting wet, he was crying. I heard him sobbing. I wanted to comfort him and tell him, stop crying I can’t see him cry and wanted to tell him, why was he doing this to me after all these years when he was living fine without me.

“Ity… please tell me” his voice was painful, I wanted to wipe his tears because they were hurting me.

I had this one feeling inside me right now and that was, to tell him because I don’t know when I would be able to tell him this and what if I could never tell him and meet him again. there won’t be another chance to say like this, I always regretted whenever he came and left LA, and now when I have the chance, I should tell him. All these years I spent without him, stayed in denial but now I wanted to tell him, one word from him and I broke, I don’t want to let go of this chance; so I hugged him back tight. I don’t know when I will get to hug him tight like this, so I followed my heart.

“Shua, I missed you. I wanted you back, nothing was same after you left. I graduated and I have a job, I earn but nothing is same without you. Your shirts are still hanging in my closets, I still kept them because they have your scent. I couldn’t let you go even after you left me.” he pulled himself back and looked at me. he was crying, so bad. It was hurting to see his tears, they made me cry more.

“Sorry for leaving you, all these years I wanted to tell you this, I wanted to apologize to you, I thought you would be better without me, because I was leaving for Korea for my career, and I wasn’t sure if I could be with you, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep you happy like the way you keep me happy always. Being with you kept me happy” his words were sincere; I could tell that and his tears were falling.

“Joshua, please stop crying” my hands reached his face and he held my hand. “I’m so sorry for hurting you Ity and for leaving you.” I was nodding, trying to tell him I understand him, the way I thought I would get hurt after I see him, everything went away, I was healing because of him, I felt better after I saw him today, I was feeling something I couldn’t explain right now, I just knew my Joshua Hong is back, he was here with me, standing infront of him. I always the worst scenarios in my head, that he would push me away and will tell me why he left me and hurt me but none of those things happened.

His hands were on my cheeks, “Ity…. I always loved you, I was so unsure about myself that I could keep you happy and I wanted a career, but back at that time it felt so unsure.” my tears were falling more, “I love you Shua, you were my first love and you’re still the one I love.” I tried smiling but I failed so badly and broke down again.

“Ity, please come back to me. Please give us a chance” he was looking at me and wiping my tears. “Shua” I paused, I couldn’t speak because of how much I was crying.

“Please come back to me, please let’s go back to us. Just us, you and me together. Please Ity, please be my Ity again” I nodded without thinking much, “Ity” he called my name and next thing I knew his soft lips on mine. His fingers were caressing my cheeks, our tears were making our lips wet, it was a longing kiss. His another hand was resting on my waist. He pulled back and looked at me, “we are us again, I love you so much Ity.”

“I love you Joshua” he wiped my tears with his thumb, “thankyou for giving us a second chance” and he kissed me again.

ᨦ ࿔ ◌ Just keep it running, keep it

running up right now ،  𓏸 ★꩜

@h-ao ☆ 𝖽𝗂𝗏𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗒 @v6que