Joshua Angst - Tumblr Posts

Rakes never cry

Paring: joshua x fem!reader

Genre: angst, regency!au

warnings: mentions of sex

summary: idk its just sad

words: 817

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask.

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Someone needs to tell Joshua that whatever he is seeing is wrong, that it’s not your form that is dancing with the man so closely on the floor.

It has been almost a year since he last saw you and he never thought that this is how the reunion with you would happen. But what rights does he have to stop you from dancing with this man you are enamored with, so enamored that you can barely shift your eyes away from him.

He thinks back to the time when it was him holding you that close, twirling you around the ballroom and hearing your beautiful laughs and talking to you in hushed whispers about some gossip he heard while playing poker with the other dukes.

Listening to you laugh when recounted an exceptionally funny story from his recent trip.

He thinks about all the nights he spent with you lying on a haystack at the back of his stable, smoking a cigar and talking about life and even though it was not the most ideal place to have heartfelt conversations, you both somehow made it work.

As he looks you, he notices how you at Jeonghan like he arranged in the stars in the night sky for you, like all the galaxy you hold your eyes were just stars burning with love for the man. He realizes that one year is indeed a long time, and a whole lot has changed in just a mere span of 365 days.

It took him just one afternoon to confess that he never loved you, that you were merely a fascination to him due to the off-limits nature of your relationship. It took him just one afternoon to throw away all those nights of laughter, all the evenings of passionate love making behind the theater while his friends were busy indulging in the new melodious shows with their betrothed or wives.

The thought of losing his status of as the nonchalant Casanova was too much for his foolish boyish mind to accept so he did what he was the best at he fled from the conflict. Never the one to think about consequences, or even about anyone but him, he could never fathom the great pain he caused you by leading you on and not only jeopardizing your probable engagement with other potential suitors but also make you the butt of all the apathetic gossip of the older women.

The minute he felt the presence of something brewing between the two of you that felt like it had deeper meanings than what he is accustomed to, he boarded on the first ship to Caribbean, to be as far away for you as he physically can. Only he never underestimated how strong the brewed feeling actually were.

Not one day went on his voyage when he did not think of you, even when he tried his very best to put the you named thought out of his head. Nights of intoxication and passion became a norm for him during his trip and new destinations and people kept him busy.

But still as he looked out of his cabin at the dusky setting sun, he felt the innate need to hold you close to him, to hear you voice calling out to him while he is beneath you making you feel levels of bliss you didn’t know you were capable of experiencing.

So, when he hopped off that ship on the coast of England the only name that echoed in his mind was yours. He knew he had made a mistake, but he had hoped that you would let it slide, that you would take him back into your loving arms like you always did.

But it seems like faith was reluctant to give him a second chance as he noticed you in the first ball of the season and realized that you had been successfully swept off your feet by someone else who was not him. As much as he would have loved to fight for you, he realized he had lost the battle even before it started, when he had left you stranding alone in the park with your bloodied torn heart on the palm of your hand and the emotions slowly bleeding out of your eyes.

Maybe he would have tried to jeopardize your relationship with Jeonghan, if not for the fact the man went ahead and collected all the pieces of your heart and sewed them together for you and filled those eyes that he hollowed out with the most beautiful galaxy that Joshua had ever seen.

Maybe if he had more courage, he would have tried to get you back but he doesn’t so he will stand here and toast you both and make sure his eyes don’t show too much emotions for he still has the reputation of a rake to hold up and rakes don’t cry.

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A/n; again i hope you guys liked it.

goldleaf

pairing: hong jisoo (joshua) x gender neutral reader

genre: angst, hanahaki au

word count: 1.1k

warnings: no happy ending, mentions of death + implied main character death…eventually, One mention of swearing, unrequited love, the normal hanahaki au things (blood, throwing up, etc.)

author note: um so guess who found out she can actually write angst! it’s written in joshua’s pov the entire time and reader is just kinda in the background (they’re still important though!) also, if you want a lil more info about how i wrote this, check out my reblog! lots of love ♡

masterlist

when joshua sees you with them, he can’t deny that he feels…more than he wishes he did.

he’s sick and tired of the hollowness in his chest but it’s fine. it’ll all be fine once he sees you happy, right? that's what he says to convince himself before looking up at the sky and seeing you in the shape of the clouds and the way the sun hits them and himself.

fuck, he’s in too deep to continue to believe the sorry excuse he’s made up for himself to feel a little better. it never helps anyway, so why keep using it? he lets it go, imagining it fluttering away on a breeze that reminds him way too much of the person always on his mind.

so when the tingling in his throat comes out as petals the same golden like the colour he imagines your soul to be, he isn’t surprised. as he exits the bathroom, he avoids jeonghan’s gaze, promises that he’ll be fine; after all, it’s just a cold—whatever it takes to keep his best friend from worrying. at least he knows his promises won’t be worth much anyway.

he sees you often, your smile as cheery as the flowers haunting him in his dreams and the ones sticking to his lungs, trapped in his chest. he’s alright, he tells himself. he’ll be fine.

he doesn’t go to the doctor. he’s read and seen enough of what’s happening to him, and he knows the choice he’ll have to make if he goes. he knows that the only solution is to forget, but he would never do that. he can’t let go of wandering around in the wheat fields that one summer you two were in the countryside, or the time you laughed and laughed at a joke that wasn’t funny, or when he lost all hope and you were there, making sure he could get back up again and live. if the price of keeping the memories he holds close is death, he’s okay with it.

joshua doesn’t tell his roommates. he knows that jeonghan and seungcheol would drag him to the emergency room against his will, and force him to take the option he’s already decided against. he wouldn’t let them sway him anyway, but it’s easier if they don’t know. however, time seems to choose to leave the bathroom—even when it seems to be going too fast for joshua’s liking these days—when jeonghan finds him hovering over the sink, bloody tissues in his hand and washed petals placed carefully on the side.

the two of them say nothing.

jeonghan leaves, and joshua turns to the mirror above the sink, taking a good look at himself. he wipes off the dried blood on his top lip, noticing nothing else wrong. he doesn’t realize that after he leaves, jeonghan is horrified by the lack of light in his friend’s eyes, the spark he thought would never go out.

jeonghan hasn’t said anything since, lost in his thoughts every time he’s home. seungcheol is freaked out, not understanding the dead silence in the house. he doesn’t know that he’ll have to pay more for rent in…well, however long it takes for joshua’s lungs to finally fill up with your flowers. joshua knows he’s being cruel, but can’t he be allowed to be selfish in his last moments? is that too much to ask for after everything?

he doesn’t approach jeonghan, and instead writes. he writes journal entries in that notebook you got him a few years back, but he never used it because he was too scared to mess up in something you gave him; letters to those he’ll miss. he revises the one for his mother over and over again, crumpling paper like his lungs.

joshua doesn’t try to hide anything from seungcheol. he knows that his housemate’s blank expression means more than what he says. in fact, there is nothing said; their house is a place to rest and eat and nothing else. it’s as if there’s three ghosts, not just a single potential one. joshua sighs, wheezing out more petals. he grabs them hastily, making sure they don’t fall to the ground or worse, onto your letter. he carries them gently in his bloodied hands to the bathroom sink once again, the only companion he seems to have in the past few weeks.

joshua rinses each souvenir of his love one by one, clearing the dark red off before drying them and taking them back to the pile he’s made ever since this started. at first, they were hidden away in a small box on the corner of his desk, so no one would wander in and see them. now, he puts them on his nightstand haphazardly, the dark wood no longer visible under the various shades of yellow and red.

joshua picks up his pen—the expensive one his mom gifted him when he moved away so long ago; he never used it until now. the ink glides smoothly over the clean paper he had taken out earlier. he writes once again.

the only thing he knows how to say now is sorry. he writes it over and over again, signing each letter with the sounds he can barely make in real life, his voice hoarse from the damage done on his throat, and the lack of use.

maybe it’s time for something different? after all, this is for you, and he wants the news to be broken softly. he racks his head for something, anything that he finds good enough to become something real. he drinks the day-old water from the plastic bottle beside him, the familiar taste of blood accompanying it.

he glances at the clock he’s kept beside him since the start, and counts down two seconds; he has no time to waste.

he puts down the words he’s said so often to you that they’ve become a habit but seem to have changed ever since he started throwing up marigolds—a literal reminder of his unrequited love.

it’ll be a bit hard to be there for you when he’s dead, won’t it? joshua doesn’t mind. he never will.

he chuckles dryly, a whole flower falling out. he gets up and repeats his process for the petals before sitting back down.

joshua looks at his handiwork, pausing and adding a few more words before moving his paper to the side, and starting on another letter for his mother.

he stares blearily at the clock again, the red blinking numbers the only comfort he allows himself. it’s a new day.

joshua hopes it’ll finally be his last.

Sweet Nothing with Shua

pairing: Joshua x reader

tags: angst, fluff at the end, boyfriend Joshua, non-idol!au, mentions of childhood issues and disordered eating

summary: Graduation just got over and you’re all but happy. You watch as each of your friends leaves and as you leave. Change has never been easy for you, especially when it triggers all the instability of your childhood. But there is one person you will always find yourself coming back to- Joshua. After three years of navigating life and university together, he's your home. And now you get to literally come home to his sweet nothings in your new house and your heart will heal itself from the pains of life.

wordcount: 1.9k

a/n: Inspired by the lines "Outside, they're push and shoving, You're in the kitchen humming, All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing" from Taylor Swift's Sweet Nothing.

masterlist | Let me know your thoughts and feedback.

Change, it was a rude temptress. It lures you in with the promise of shiny places, bright lights and adventures. It’s a hoax. It takes you to uncomfortable, odd places with random strangers that make you miss home.

Change takes your closest friends away from you.

Change is the reason you're walking back home on a cold unfamiliar path, toward a driveway you don't immediately recognise and to a house currently filled with cardboard boxes.

Life had turned around in less than a month's time. You'd known it would change, you had all been preparing for it. Yet none of you were ready for the real thing. Even when you had sat through every packing session with your friends-some packing things into a suitcase, some in cardboard boxes, talking through a million memories and making promises of holding on.

You watched as your friend group, the one that had fit perfectly like pieces of a puzzle slowly began drifting away. Except now each of you carried a part of the others' pieces too. Some moving seas away, some moving just far enough that it still feels like uncharted territory.

You had told yourself you would be brave about this. You would not let this affect you and trigger all the childhood issues attached to it. For the most part, you held onto your words. You'd cleared your dorm and moved bunches of cardboard boxes to a new and unfamiliar place. You had said your greetings to unfamiliar faces, in a stiff outfit at your new place of work. You said goodbyes to two of your closest friends at the airport in the span of a week, without breaking into a single tear.

But the emotional baggage had come out in other ways. In a cowardly move, you began pushing away your boyfriend. The one you had moved in with just weeks ago. The same boyfriend who had helped you through multiple hard times in the three years of university, all with his polite smile and kind heart. The very thought of his kindness made you hurt with guilt. He did not deserve the pain you were putting him through, especially when you both were supposed to be celebrating this fresh and beautiful chapter of your relationship. That is why you stop five steps in front of the new apartment that now belonged to the two of you, looked at his car in the driveway and decided to turn back and take another walk around the block. You needed to clear your head so that you could stop hurting him.

Shua watches from the kitchen window as you turn around and walk away. He leans back on the cabinet and rubs his eyes with his hands. He has tried everything to comfort you and give you the space you needed. He understands that this has been a hard time for you, it has been for him too. He's had to say his own goodbyes and adjust to new places too.

Joshua understands better than anyone else just how hard this might be for you. He also knows that he can't make this right or tell you to process your emotions in a different way. But it is breaking his heart to see you hurt yourself in the process. He's been waiting for a whole week to hear you say more than three words at once. He has had to sit in front of you and watch you refuse every bite of food for a week and it breaks a piece of him every time.

He has been trying his best to help you, from beside and from afar. It felt unfair to him too but he knows this has been triggering all the issues from your childhood and your pushing him away had nothing to do with your relationship at the moment.

Joshua sighs another time, he should not let himself get sucked in his insecurities too. He knows you will come back to him, he knows you will tuck yourself into his arms in sleep like you do every night. And he knows he will pull himself away before you wake up so that you don't feel more guilty than you already do. Till your guilt and pain are ready to be let out, Joshua will wait on the sidelines and remind you that he is still there and your life will continue.

The smell. That is the first thing you notice when you enter the house an hour after deciding to walk around the block. You got sidetracked at the park and ended up staring at trees as you processed everything. You now felt it all but also felt too numb. The emotions and thoughts had gotten too much and you desperately needed to cry in the comfort of your home. That's why you walked back to find Joshua.

You still remember the first time you let yourself cry in his arms after a very painful call with your dad and how he'd held you delicately through it all. He was the first person you had cried in front of since your parent, and it felt good. To finally be held as you broke down, to be reminded that you aren't entirely broken. It felt like home when he hugged you so tight that your heart healed itself.

With tears brimming in your eyes as you look around the dimly lit house, unable to move from the doorstep, the smell gets to you. It smelt like chocolate and flour. You couldn't quite place the smell but you knew someone had baked something and something had definitely burnt at least once. You looked around the living room but all you could hear was a faint hum.

You walked toward the kitchen and a silhouette came into view. Joshua standing, with his back to you, working on something on the counter as hums a song like an angel. He was wearing your old pastel pink apron around his waist, you could see multiple stains on his plain white t-shirt. You smiled as you saw how ruffled his hair was and there was definitely flour on the strands. The smile on your face forms automatically and so do the tears.

It hits you in a wave, the realisation that no matter how hard everything else in the world gets, and how many things change, Shua is here in your shared kitchen, humming as he tries his best to bake you muffins. That's all you need. That's everything he needs- the sweet nothings. The whole world can push you and hurt you, but you'll find yourself in Shua's arms, doing nothing and feeling the joy of everything.

The tears are now pouring like a monsoon rain down your cheeks and you take three big steps before tapping him on the shoulder.

Shua is startled by the sudden tap on his shoulders and he turns with the whisk still in his hands from the mess of a muffin he was desperately trying to make- for the second time that evening. He's even more surprised when he sees you pull him into an embrace. He stays still hands open wide, a whisk dripping chocolate sauce in one hand, as he watches you hold to him so tight he could barely breathe. He stayed still, feeling your sniffs against his chest, your tears soaking up his shirt.

Shua moves very slowly to place his hand around you such that he is cradling your head. He rubs circles on your scalp as you lean into him further and cry your heart out. His heart clenches as he cannot bear to see you so worn down and hurt, but another part of him is glad you chose to come back to him and let out your emotions. Shua understands that with love comes a lot of pain and he cannot expect it all to be gone just because the two of you are in love. All he wants is for the two of you to always come running back to the other when everything and everyone else makes life hard.

You cry till you can't physically anymore. The two of you stay there the entire time, unsure of the time. After you broke out into full-blown sobs, you feel tear drops dampen your hair, you know Shua was tearing up too. He always did. Neither of you could stand the other crying.

So you both stayed there, crying out the pain- the pain of growing up, of moving on, of letting go, of facing your demons, of looking at the start of your life, of an uncertain future and the fear of losing. Shua and you held each other through the fears, a promise to hold on and help each other heal. To hold each other through the storms, the soul deconstructors and through the trials and tribulations of life.

You finally feel lighter and pull yourself back to see his face. Shua is already looking down at you with his sweet smile and eyes that light up your soul. his hair is messy with flour tangled between strands and you finally notice the whisk that has been dripping chocolate sauce all over the kitchen floor and is thoroughly drenched in your tears and chocolate stains.

"Hi." Your voice comes out in a croak and both of you end up cracking up.

"Hello to you too ma'am." He says, his honey-like voice filling up the cracks of your heart.

"You're making something?" You ask feigning innocence as he gives you an embarrassed smile scratching his hair.

"I was trying to bake muffins."

You let out a small smile, "For me?"

He nods and you feel your eye tear up a little more. Shua's eyes widen with worry.

"Babe no. Don't cry. I can clean this all up and maybe we can order real muffins. Or whatever you need. Please don't cry again, my heart can't take it. And your eyes will certainly not be able to take anymore crying." He says in such a state of pure fright and panic that it endears you wholly.

You shake your head, laughing. "No Shua I am not crying don't worry."

"Thank god."

"But I think we should try to salvage these muffins and clean the kitchen." He nods looking around the mess he has made.

"And maybe you should change your t-shirt first." You say as you try your best not to stare at his drenched shirt, sticking to him in all the right places.

Shua smirks, "Oh why babe, is it tempting you?" He asks knowing full well the answer.

You roll your eyes as a blush creeps up your cheeks, "Oh, please it's nothing new."

He hums and strokes a finger across your cheek, "Uh-huh. Is that why you're red as a tomato."

You mock glare at him and pull away from his touch. "If that's how you want to play it, then I'm gonna leave you to clean this mess on your own." He groans. "And, you will sleep on the couch tonight." You add and he looks terribly scared now that it makes you grin.

"Alright alright, let's order good food, clean this up and head to bed." He says and pulls you into an embrace which you graciously acept.

"Thank you." You hear him murmur and look up at his face questioningly at him.

"For coming back to me." He says with a sweet smile and you lean forward to kiss him in response.

As if you would go anywhere but home.

hello! can i req for a short bf!shua fic wherein yn has been sick for days and shua takes care of her and it kinda overwhelms her bec it was her first time being taken care of like that by other person (she’s used to being alone & shua just love her so much huhu) thank you! 🤍

Here Now - Joshua Hong

WC: 1k || Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst (?) || Lover boy Joshua Hong is in the house!!

A/N: I'm not gonna tell y'all what to do but...you maybe totally should envision this to "Lean On Me" (aka my favoritest SVT song ever)

It's been days since you've gotten up from the comfy nest you created for yourself on your bed. Wrapped up in blankets and snuggling pillows like a newborn monkey.

You hadn't gotten sick like this in forever, it's very possible that you haven't been this sick in your entire life actually. You've been calling out of work for days and any movements made past the kitchen or the bathroom were futile attempts that would leave you hurling.

So all in all, you're extremely lucky to have Joshua by your side. Bringing you meals, making you meals, making sure you're taking medicine, he even took a few days off to make sure that if you needed him he was there.

Which, if you were being honest, made you feel even more sick.

It's not like the attention wasn't appreciated...no! You loved the way that Shua loved. You really truly did! It's rare that fights ever caused wedges between you because he was always so good with communication. He was always keen on making sure that you knew that he was yours and only yours, calling every single night on tour and planning dates like it was his job. Shua was - just as he's boasted about all these years - a gentleman.

But you'd be lying if you didn't acknowledge that this didn't feel right, that him taking care of you felt comfortable. It was anything but.

You can take care of yourself and you have for many many years. So when Shua started to bring over food, made sure to set alarms to remind you to take medicine, and spend nights at your place - it's fair to say that you felt suffocated? Or it's more like you didn't want to take up his time.

Joshua is busy. You've always known him to be extremely hard-working, not only in your relationship but also in his professional life. And it's not like you ever minded, in fact, you enjoy being alone. It's just how life has turned out for you thus far, in ways, being alone is much more comfortable than being surrounded by others constantly.

When you'd gotten together it was pretty out of the ordinary. It's not like you're polar opposites but Shua is so outgoing, friendly, and sociable - it astonished you how kind he was to everyone. To be able to call him your boyfriend seems a bit like a privilege. And it only made it that much harder to accept this kind of care.

"You don't have to do all this Shua."

"Hmm? What do you mean?" He stares at you from the edge of the best where he's sitting, the thermometer still in his hand as he had just checked your temperature.

"I mean take time off and stuff. You don't have to do this for me."

Utterly confused he keeps quiet, placing the thermometer on the nightstand. He's always been good about letting other people have the space to speak.

"I know you're trying to be nice...but I can do stuff myself. You don't have to dote on me." He's letting you finish your speech but as you look into his eyes you can see he's readying himself to refute. "I know you're busy-"

"No." His tone is so stern that it scares you.

"Josh-" You nervously rub your hands together but Shua is quick to hold your palms in his.

"I'm not busy, y/n. I'm not busy when it comes to you."

"That's the thing Shua! You really shouldn't feel like you need to do any of this just because I'm your partner or out of any obligations...." He sees the guilty look on your face as you stare down at your intertwined fingers.

He scoffs, "Yeah and you shouldn't feel like you're a burden to me because I'm your partner." He rolls his eyes with a smile but you're completely blown away by the statement. "Seriously...you act like we're not gonna recite the words "through sickness and health" one day."

"Yeah but you have so much going on- I've taken care of myself for forever so it's really okay for me to continue to do so. I haven't had the kind of support you do, y'know? I've grown accustomed to being alone and doing things alone..." You take a big breath and let it out, letting the weight glide off your shoulders. "I just don't want to be another thing you think you have to worry about."

He's looking at you with the biggest stupidest doe eyes, taking in every single word you say. It only makes your heart pound more and not in any sort of lovesick manner, but in embarrassment of the situation.

"You're so...frustrating sometimes y/n."

Dumbfounded at the jab your face screws up in disbelief of his words...it feels like your world could come crashing down right now. Maybe you just shouldn't have said anything-

"I know you've done things all on your own. You're literally one of the strongest people I know. It's one of my favorite qualities about you. You're independent, reliable, and so- Just- Ugh!" He facepalms. "I know all of this about you - you're so perfect and it breaks my heart that you would ever think you could be any sort of problem for me. I'm here for you. Yes, you've learned to go through it all alone and take care of yourself. But that doesn't mean that you have to do that...especially not anymore."

You don't know if it would be more appropriate to cry or smile in this situation so you resolve to just holding him as close as you can. You can feel as tears begin to gather but you hold yourself together -although, now you know that he wouldn't mind if you let it all go.

"It worries me so much that you feel like you can't lean on me." He rests in the crook of your neck and speaks against your skin.

"Just rest now, babe. Look your temp is already a lot better than yesterday." He separates from you and holds the thermometer up as proof, "Rest. I'm here now and I refuse to let you go through life alone!" That goofy smile that had you fallen head over heels for adorns his face.

*RING RING RING* "Medicine alarm..." He presses a kiss to your cheek. Yeah, you're really lucky to have Joshua.

A/N: Crying, I love him, Mom!! Also, I'm so sorry this took so much longer to write than I expected. I was out of ideasssss and dialogue was so rough to come up with for this one. (lowkey might wake up tmrw and feel so shit abt the dialogue ;-;) But thank you for requesting @honglynights !! I hope you enjoy! Please Reblog and Comment if you enjoyed ! (They act as power-ups for me)

Taglist (OPEN): @bemybabiibish @bath1lda

Can’t get you out of my head.

Joshua one shot

Pairing: Joshua Hong x Female reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.2K

Author’s Note: After I watched one tweet (i added the link below, you can check it out), it just gave me idea to write, I just wanted to write, although I don’t know how it turned out, hope it didn’t turn out bad. I tried, to write something also the way Joshua was singing this part >>>>

Happy reading :)

Once, the concert was over, I saw everyone leaving. They left, Joshua left as well. They already went to the backstage. I was watching everyone leave one by one, after the venue was almost empty, I got up from my seat and started walking.

“Ity, Joshua invited us to the backstage, let’s go” Brendon told me, I shook my head. Our friends knew about us and they knew how I avoid everything related to him. “I don’t think I should go, he might get upset.” I told him, “Ity, you will be meeting him after eight years, do you really want to miss this chance? It’s been more than eight years” I wanted to say no, I wanted to tell Brendon that no I don’t want to miss this chance because I really want to meet him. but even before I could reply him anything, Daisy held my hand and started walking, I couldn’t even protest. I just found myself walking wherever my friends were going specially Daisy, since she was holding my wrist.

There were two ways, one led to exit another was for backstage. I looked to the way that led to the backstage and sighed. It reminded me of the way Joshua and I had an eye contact when he was singing ‘2 minus 1’ I was looking at him and when walked to the other side of the stage while singing, my eyes couldn’t leave him. I wondered did he notice me, because I saw his eyes softened a bit when he saw me then again, he left that place and started singing with Vernon and the way he sang his lines

“I can’t get out of my head, yeah!

Gotta get you out of my head, yeah

how can you be so fine when I’m I’m I’m”

I could never forget the expression and the look on his face. I could never. Somewhere it felt like he was telling me he was fine, while singing the song and then as if he told me I must be fine but he couldn't get me out of his hand and as if telling me he never thought I would be this fine after we broke up. I saw him after almost eight years, after distancing myself from his world. All these years I wanted to stop myself thinking about him but how could I erase and forget a person who was supposedly my first love and gave me my best memories, I don’t cry anymore like I used to do, I stopped crying over him but the longing feelings which I always had, it was always inside me. Even today when I saw him on stage, I realized how I was always on denial and I actually missed him more than anything. How could I not when he was my youth, when he left me at 18, broke up with me, I broke into pieces. All the trust I had ever put in a guy, Joshua took away everything, I gave all of me to him and he left me there.

Alone.

After few months when I got to know he left LA, I was broken mess.

And I was insane when I got the front tickets for today’s concert. I don’t know why I impulsively did it back then when the tickets were on sale but I brought the tickets. After I brought the ticket, I got to know my highschool friends were going as well. I told Brendon, I got my ticket and he suggested that it would be nice if we could go and come back together. I agreed to it. After the concert ended, Brendon texted me to wait where I was and he would come and we could go meet Joshua in backstage. And here I am walking towards the backstage, I have no idea how would he react to see me. I wanted to tell myself to stay calm but my heart was beating insane. He came back to LA after three years, last time when he came, it was for Seventeen’s concert.

“Ity, trust me, you would feel better after you meet him” I heard Brendon say this to me, I tried smiling but then I heard a voice, “hey guys” and I froze. Daisy let go of my wrist.

“Hey Josh” I heard Brandon say, I saw him walking towards him and hugging him tight. I saw him walking towards me and Daisy, he was smiling. The moment his eyes met mine, I felt he wanted to say something. Those innocent and pure eyes, which I can never forget because I always saw my whole universe in his eyes. “Did you guys enjoy?” we all nodded, the fact this was my first time meeting him in these eight years and I was trying to be okay. He smiled so big, his cute little eyes, making me fall in love again, I wanted to tell him I missed him.

“this was Ity’s first time” Brandon said and Joshus nodded, and scratched the back of his neck. “also can I click pictures with your members?” he nodded.

“Of course, you can, they are just inside that room, go on” Brandon and Daisy started walking. I was left there with Joshua, we were alone. I thought he would leave with them but he didn’t rather he took a step towards me.

“Hope you’re doing fine” I managed to look into his eyes, when he said that. “hmm” I wanted to deny it, tell him, nothing is same after you left, I completed my studies and now I am working but look at me still longing for your hugs, your kisses, your embrace, and your love.

“you looked happy”, I told him and tried to smile. I was stopping myself from crying, because I saw my ex after eight years. And all the memories flashed infront of me, as if I was watching a replay of our moments and then it stopped when we broke up, the way he broke up and left.

Unknowingly I was stepping back, and soon I felt my back touching the wall, I saw him taking steps towards me, “Ity” the way he called my name, was making me weak and telling me to cry.

“Shua, no” as if I knew what was he going to tell me next, he was going to break me again. even after all these years, I still couldn’t stop loving him, he was always there with me.

“I… I…” he looked hesitant “I regret leaving you.”

“Shua stop, you can’t do this. not after eight years” I was trying to hold back my tears but my voice was already trembling, this was the thing I wanted to avoid. After we broke up, we avoided eachother, but I always wanted to know what was the reason he left me here, what was the problem? Was I the problem? I hated to admit it but I knew I would break down in front of him once he calls my name. there was still a soft spot for him in my heart and I knew somewhere I still loved him and couldn’t love anyone else till now.

“When I looked at you while performing, that moment I got my confirmation, I regretted leaving you. And I wanted to tell you the truth, all these years I kept on thinking about you, and couldn’t stop myself from thinking about you. At times when I couldn’t get you out of my head, I asked my friends how you’re doing, they said you’re living well, and you’re fine. You smile, you laugh, you enjoy your life. I wanted to tell you, I was hurt and I love what I do but…” don’t do this to me Joshua Hong, please don’t. I will break again and won’t be able to let go of you.

“All this success is nothing if you’re not here to share with me” he stepped closer, “I can’t do this anymore, I want to share everything with you Ity” tears already started falling, how much I tried to stop. How much courage I gathered up so that I could face him today but everything felt like it crumbled down.

“Ity” again he called my name. He held my shoulders and made me look at him, his eyes reminded me of how he broke up with me that day.

“Ity let’s stop it here, I can’t do this anymore. You and me, we shouldn’t date. We should stop here.” and he walked away.

I cried more, his grip tightened, on my shoulders and then pulled me into his embrace. I wanted to hold him tight and cry more, I wanted to tell him I missed him more, he can never imagine how much I missed him ever since that day, that moment. I felt my shoulder getting wet, he was crying. I heard him sobbing. I wanted to comfort him and tell him, stop crying I can’t see him cry and wanted to tell him, why was he doing this to me after all these years when he was living fine without me.

“Ity… please tell me” his voice was painful, I wanted to wipe his tears because they were hurting me.

I had this one feeling inside me right now and that was, to tell him because I don’t know when I would be able to tell him this and what if I could never tell him and meet him again. there won’t be another chance to say like this, I always regretted whenever he came and left LA, and now when I have the chance, I should tell him. All these years I spent without him, stayed in denial but now I wanted to tell him, one word from him and I broke, I don’t want to let go of this chance; so I hugged him back tight. I don’t know when I will get to hug him tight like this, so I followed my heart.

“Shua, I missed you. I wanted you back, nothing was same after you left. I graduated and I have a job, I earn but nothing is same without you. Your shirts are still hanging in my closets, I still kept them because they have your scent. I couldn’t let you go even after you left me.” he pulled himself back and looked at me. he was crying, so bad. It was hurting to see his tears, they made me cry more.

“Sorry for leaving you, all these years I wanted to tell you this, I wanted to apologize to you, I thought you would be better without me, because I was leaving for Korea for my career, and I wasn’t sure if I could be with you, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep you happy like the way you keep me happy always. Being with you kept me happy” his words were sincere; I could tell that and his tears were falling.

“Joshua, please stop crying” my hands reached his face and he held my hand. “I’m so sorry for hurting you Ity and for leaving you.” I was nodding, trying to tell him I understand him, the way I thought I would get hurt after I see him, everything went away, I was healing because of him, I felt better after I saw him today, I was feeling something I couldn’t explain right now, I just knew my Joshua Hong is back, he was here with me, standing infront of him. I always the worst scenarios in my head, that he would push me away and will tell me why he left me and hurt me but none of those things happened.

His hands were on my cheeks, “Ity…. I always loved you, I was so unsure about myself that I could keep you happy and I wanted a career, but back at that time it felt so unsure.” my tears were falling more, “I love you Shua, you were my first love and you’re still the one I love.” I tried smiling but I failed so badly and broke down again.

“Ity, please come back to me. Please give us a chance” he was looking at me and wiping my tears. “Shua” I paused, I couldn’t speak because of how much I was crying.

“Please come back to me, please let’s go back to us. Just us, you and me together. Please Ity, please be my Ity again” I nodded without thinking much, “Ity” he called my name and next thing I knew his soft lips on mine. His fingers were caressing my cheeks, our tears were making our lips wet, it was a longing kiss. His another hand was resting on my waist. He pulled back and looked at me, “we are us again, I love you so much Ity.”

“I love you Joshua” he wiped my tears with his thumb, “thankyou for giving us a second chance” and he kissed me again.

Love and religion fought. We lost.

PROMPT. “we tried we tried so much, but in the end we lost.”

PAIRING. Joshua x female reader

GENRE. angst

WARNINGS. Mention of blood, mcd, different religions, gun

WORD COUNT. 2.6K

AUTHOR’S NOTE. Finally I am here with this fic, I battled so much before posting, I don't want to offend any religion and I know it's a sensitive topic but I wanted to write it so bad. And since I decided to write angst for 13 members long ago, here's the first one. And angst being my favorite genre till now I tried doing justice to the fic, and since it's a bit of desi setting, it's a win for desi readers. Hope you like it. And I would be tagging people/readers who commented in that post earlier hehe ^^

Happy reading :)

TAG. @thepoopdokyeomtouched @aestheticfangirl @scarlet789 @nobraincellmode @woofie-nctzen-fanarts

Seventeen as angst trope

“You’re looking so pretty” I looked around, and saw my family members coming towards me and applying haldi on me, I looked at myself and saw myself wearing a yellow sharara, I saw my sister coming towards me and hugging me tight. “Hope you stay happy always like this, even after marriage” and somewhere my emotions were lost the moment someone told me this, I couldn't even recognize the voice at that point.

“Shua, I want to wear different outfits for all the ceremonies but too sad, you won’t be able to see me.” I smiled at him and he just laughed and pulled me closer in his embrace, “But you’re going to be my wife, so I would get a lifetime to watch you wear your favorite clothes” and he pinched my nose playfully. “I want to get married twice, one in all the traditions we follow and another one in your way. I don’t want to miss out on wearing a white gown and kissing you infront of everyone.”

“I’ll fulfill all your wishes, my love.”“I love you so much, Joshua”

“I love you too meri jaan” and he smiled at me once again, his smile was something that healed me every time.

“You look pretty Mishka, he is so lucky” and my mom kissed my forehead, I tried to look at her but somewhere I just couldn’t look at her at all, not after all this.

Everyone looked so happy and seemed like they were enjoying it every second, I tried to smile at them but I failed terribly. There was something wrong with me because I couldn’t express my emotions anymore. I failed to show them how I felt, as if my mind wanted to show them but my heart refused to do anything. It was the sign I lost, we lost.

“I would be the in-charge of the decorations, I want everything to be golden.”“You surely love the golden colour a lot Mishka” and he laughed and it was melody to my ears, “Yes I do and I love one more thing” he looked at me confused, “You” and I kissed him.

“You just know how to steal kisses.” And he pulled me closer by my neck and kissed me again. Every time I kissed him, I kissed him like it was my last kiss and I loved the feeling so much. I want to kiss him till the time I can’t kiss him anymore and I want to remember how he felt.

“Joshua”

“Yes, love”

“Do…you think…”“Think?” he was looking at me and I was feeling nervous, I wanted to say it loud, but he suddenly cupped my face. “What’s wrong?”

“I should tell them about us, it’s been eight years… already” “Mishka” he kissed me again and then looked at me, “if you want to tell your parents about us, you can. I’ll be there with you. We will go and talk to them, they will accept us.”

“Mishka, your mehendi looks so pretty” I turned to look at the person doing my mehendi, and here I wanted to put his initials. “And it’s done” The moment I looked at my hand, I saw the way my hand had someone else’s name’s initial, a stranger whom I don’t even know. I wanted to run away, but two things stopped me, Joshua’s thoughts and then my own family’s reputation. If I wanted, I could’ve taken a step and ran away already, but Joshua’s thoughts stopped me from doing anything.

It was raining and I ran outside, “Mishka, stop” I wanted to dance in the rain. “You’ll fall sick Mishka” For once I didn’t want to listen to his words, he always tells me I will fall sick but then he is the one who takes care of me so falling sick is worth it since he’s with me.

He suddenly came and picked me up, “Shua, oh god”

“I love you so much Mishka, I can’t explain. I want to marry you as soon as possible and want to make you mine officially.” I smiled at him, he had never confessed to me like this directly, and for marriage. He puts me down and looks at me, “Mishka, do you want to marry me?” I smiled at him, “And what makes you think that asking me like this would change my answer?” he looked nervous, “If I don’t marry you then I don’t know what will happen” “And I can never see you being someone else’s, so if you don’t marry me, I will die.”

“And I will never let that happen” and I kissed him. Losing him was never an option for me. He was my everything, he found me when I was left in the dark, and he was there for me when I was alone. And if I don’t get to be with the person I love the most, I have no idea what will I do ever in my life.

I parted and looked at him, “So will you marry me?” I nodded, “Yes, Joshua, I would be ruining my life if I said no to you” and he kissed me again under the rain.

I looked at myself, wearing the red lehenga, and I didn’t know how to respond to any of the fact, that I was getting married and my thoughts were interrupted, “Di, someone came to see you-”

“Mishi”

I turned to look at Joshua, Mishti was standing near the door and then there was Joshua beside her, “I would be leaving di, just know I am here for you.”

He walked towards me and hugged me tight, “Mishka, I can’t” I wanted to hug him tight, but my hands refused to move, no matter how much I wanted to hold him tight and cry in his embrace, he was home for me. He parted and cupped my face, “Mishka, let’s go. Let’s leave this place”

“Mishi, this is not what we want, it’s against our wish, let’s go. You’re not happy, I know it Mishka. I will take you somewhere you don’t have to suffer alone.”

“Joshua…”

“What happened Mishka? I am here for you, just for you. Let’s go, I know we can’t end like this.”

“Joshua, jo hona tha woh ho gaya, ab kuch nehi kar sakte hain, mere haatho me zanjeeren hai, koi reha nehi kar sakta aur.” (Joshua, we can’t do anything now, it’s all done, I am tied with shackles in my hand, and no one can free me anymore)

“Mishka, was it a lie?” and I had no answer, I couldn’t tell him directly, that, they told me they would kill him, if I went back to him.

“Maa, please listen to me once. Maa please” I was banging on the door but no one was listening to me, I wanted to run away. I want to run away from here and never come back. My tears were falling like no tomorrow.

“Mishka one more word and you know what can your dad do.”

“Maa, no. You won’t do anything. YOU CAN’T DO THIS!! Maa!!” I was banging on the door and then heard her unlock the door. The moment I saw her face, I started crying more, I wiped my tears and the moment I was about to say something hoping she would give me a chance to speak but she slapped me hard. She locked the door and dragged me towards my bed and pushed me there.

“One more word and Mishka-

Enough was enough, how could she do this to her own daughter?

“What was his fault? What was my fault? We just fell in love”

“Mishka you better- I wanted to scream, but the moment our eyes met, she shouted “Do you not know your dad? Do you not know what are the things that means a lot to your dad? And fault? We let you study outside and you do this to us?” “What did I do maa?” I walked towards her, my tears didn’t want to stop, they refused to listen to me for the first time. “If falling in love is a crime then yes, I did it. I DID IT” and another slap, “you are going nowhere and you are breaking up with him. You will leave him and get married to the guy we choose for you, who is right for you.” She was about to leave, but then turned back to look at me, “You don’t remember your limits? He’s a guy from a different religion and we are never saying yes to that. We can’t allow you, and remember society and reputation are everything for us.”

“Maa-” “Give up Mishka, I am against it. And don’t even think about running away, because I’m warning you again, your dad can go to any limits to separate you from him.” and that’s when I understood she wasn’t even joking, they can kill him, kill us anytime they want.

“We can’t Joshua” And I never told him the exact reason, because knowing him, he would not even regret telling me, he wanted to be together with me, didn’t matter if he stayed or died.

“We still have time, if you want we can run away right now and no one will get to know, we will go somewhere far” I took a deep breath and shook my head, clearly knowing what is going to be the consequence if I take this step, they will hunt me down and kill all of us.

“Joshua, we can’t”

“Joshua, we can’t be together, please move on from me.”

“Mishka-”

“Joshua.”

“Mis-”

“Joshua, we can’t, they will kill us. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING.” And that was the moment, I couldn’t hold back anything, if I knew I was going to be a coward for all my life then I wouldn’t have started any of this at all. I can’t even be happy with the person I love.

“And I had to choose, to see you getting killed or give up on us. And I choose you to be happy, happy without me.”

“Uss din se hamare saari bitaye lamhein, uss yaadon ke kamre me band ho gai” (that day all moments we spent together got locked in the room of our memories)

The moment he walked away from that room, I felt my heart shattering each second and into millions of pieces. I was the one who chose this for myself, letting go of the person whom I loved the most, even more than my own life. My choices in life were the ones which made me suffer the most but falling in love with him was never a choice, it was like fate and a string that was pulling me towards him and I went on with it.

I looked towards the door, from where he left, and saw Mishti coming inside, “Di, it’s time to go. Everyone’s waiting for you.” I took a deep breath and she hugged me tight, “Di, I hope he will understand” I hugged her tight, if only I could tell this to myself, but marriage? It’s the bond that holds two people together and there’s no turning back from the promises that would be made. “He can’t and so do I. I can’t make myself understand anything Mishti. I am hurting the person whom I love the most and it’s hurting me more.”

From there I don’t even remember how I walked down the aisle and I was already sitting beside the person with whom I was getting married, my face had no emotion. I couldn’t bring myself to look at anyone else. “Mishka, bring your hand forward” I was trying to focus on whatever was going on, but my body wasn’t responding to any of the words; I barely heard what maa said. I didn’t want to bring my hand forward, if I brought my hand and kept my hand on his, it would bind us forever in this sacred bond. “Mishka” Once more I hear her saying my name.

“Mishka” the moment I heard my name again but this was a different voice, I looked straight. I thought my eyes were deceiving me but I saw him walking towards me “You look so pretty Mishka, I always imagined you wearing this bridal lehenga, and look at you, you look so pretty but one thing I never imagined was, you wearing this and getting married to someone else.” and I couldn’t process anything, “you look so lovely Mishka, it feels like one of my dreams came true, partially I am so happy I got to see you in this.” I never interrupted him, but his voice was getting shaky, something which never happened to him, “Your parents came to visit me, they told me, they would never say yes and in the end, you chose them” “I am asking you for the one last time” and I could see the desperation on his face, “Take my hand and let’s runaway. I can’t see you getting married to someone else” he stopped, not very close to me and not very far from me.

There was silence, I almost couldn’t say anything, I wanted to say yes so badly but my whole family was holding me back, all the moments we spent together were flashing in front of me. I took a deep breath and was about to speak “Josh-”

“Looks like your silence and hesitation gave me the answer. Mishka, I love you so much that I can never explain in words, but one thing I can never do is, tumko kisi aur ka hote dekhna, I can never do that. I meant everything I told you that day.” He took out a gun and pointed at himself, and my reflexive action was to stand and run towards him, “Love and religion fought. We lost. We tried we tried so much, but in the end we lost. I will love you forever” And he shot himself, even before I could reach him, and his lifeless body was lying infront of me. I fell on my knees, I was holding his body, I tried shaking him, but there was no response, I wanted to hold his hand. The blood painted him and painted me red, I couldn’t see anything anymore. “Joshua, Joshua please wake up” I was shaking his body, I couldn’t do anything anymore, “Joshua, please wake up, let’s go”

I felt people coming towards me, all the emotions I was holding back, my tears came out and I was crying, I couldn’t stop.

“Mishka” and it was my mom, she was trying to pull me by my arm, but this time I pulled my arm back. I was holding Joshua’s hand and looked at her. “Dekh liya kya kar diya, khushi mil gai aap logo ko,” my mind wasn’t working anymore, “Losing yourself is better than losing the person you love and I saw the love of my life killing himself infront of me do you think I am in my right mind right now.” I grabbed the gun, “Mishka leave that”

“Mishka drop the gun”

“Mishka, don’t”

But all I could hear was his voice, his last words telling me he loved me. My ears were hearing his voice, my eyes never moved from his body. The fact, that the golden kurta he was wearing was now painted in red. I was going feral with each passing second, I was dying each second. I closed my eyes for a second and looked at my maa papa. I saw someone dragging Mishti away from me, I loved her but I loved him as well, he is alone, and he has no one here right now. I couldn’t leave him alone like this when he never left me.

“Ab iske baad jo bhi hoga uske jimmedaar baas aap dono honge, baas aap dono” (and whatever happens after this, two of you are going to be the reason, just you two) I was pointing the gun towards them and I could hear all the screaming and shouting but everything slowed down and in a fraction of a second I pointed the gun at myself and I pulled the trigger.

Because I Know You

Summary: You and Joshua had recently started dating. And as you know, blossoming a friendship into a relationship is a very delicate matter. You two decided to take it slow but an incident makes you two realise just how hard you two had fallen for each other.

Warnings: none other than slight angst and crying.

Though you had known Joshua since you were a freshman in college, it had only been two months since you and Joshua started dating. You two had met each through mutual friends. It can be quite nerve-wracking to blossom a friendship into something more and at the same time, risk losing the precious bond you've made over the years. Thus, it took you guys a long time to come to terms with your mutual feelings and just two months ago, decided to give it a try.

You and Joshua had decided to take it pretty slow and chill. You two had held hands but never kissed, used nicknames for one another but never called each other baby or babe. Your cynical nature was starting to interfere and it was starting to feel all too delicate and you were worried that one wrong move could ruin it all. You were worried that maybe you had fallen too hard for your new boyfriend but he was still yet to fall that hard.

It was the weekend and Joshua had asked you out on a date, and though you were trying to go out with him and escape the mundane life, you couldn't as you had been down with a bad flu. You couldn't stop sneezing and could barely breathe through all those frequent coughs. Joshua being a gentleman obviously understood it well but he couldn't help worrying. Over several years he had seen just how terrible your condition would be when you caught a flu. Joshua suggested coming over to your house but you couldn't risk him getting sick at all , especially more so now that he had an important presentation at work coming up. You convinced him that you could somehow survive the night but Joshua made you promise him to call if you had any trouble at all.

Later at around 9, he called you once again to make sure you would be fine alone but you did not answer. he rang you two more times, but still no response from your side. Now not be dramatic or anything, but Joshua felt like he was gonna die. He was beyond worried about you and several scenarios coming to his mind, certainly did not help his situation. What if you had fainted? What if someone had broken into your house? Joshua could not just sit still. He basically ran into his basement, got into his car, frantically turned it on and started driving to your house. It is safe to say that Joshua had jumped at least two red lights and honestly, he couldn't even bring himself to care. The only thing occupying his mind was his girlfriend, you...

Finally after what had felt like an eternity (but actually 25 minutes), Joshua was standing at your door. He rang the bell once but you didn't answer. He rang it twice and there was no answer. Just as Joshua felt like he was gonna lose it, and he was a second away from breaking down, you opened the door.

There you were, standing with your pale face and chapped lips, with messy and tangled hair and your comfortable sweatshirt and pjs. You were shocked to see your boyfriend standing right in front of your door. You greeted him with a frown, "Josh, is everything alright? Why are you here this late? Wait are you crying? What happened? ." At this, Joshua felt his eyes becoming more glassy and more tears started to run down his face. He thought to himself "Damn, I can't live without her. Ugh I cannot believe it took an incident like this to realise I have fallen this hard for her". The two minutes that he had spent ringing your doorbell with no response, he realised, what would he do without you?

Joshua could no longer hold himself back, he wrapped you in a tight hug and slowly caressed your hair. When you heard him sniffling softly, your heart broke unaware that it was because of you. You asked him "Shua, did something happen at work? Why aren't you saying anything?". Joshua chuckled softly and answered "Did you see that I had called you a few times? Why didn't you answer? I felt like I was gonna pass out if you wouldn't open the door." Perplexed , you replied "Wait I had no idea you called. I got a fever and I had taken few heavy pills which made me really sleepy. Aww were you worried about me?" you answered with a laugh. "You actually think this is funny? The tears that you see on my face is because I was forced to imagine my world without you for a while. I seriously thought I lost you." Joshua said with his voice cracking in between. You pulled back from the hug to look him in the eyes, "Shua, what could even happen to me in my own apartment? You know how good the security is here and you also know I tend to sleep a lot when I catch a flu." You said once again after a pause, "I actually had no idea you cared this much." At this Joshua felt as if he had failed at expressing just how special you were to him. He also knew that no amount of words could covey his feelings towards you nor did he actually have the ability to speak anymore after sobbing ,so he did something that he wanted to do all these years ever since college. He leaned in to give you a kiss.

Though the kiss was short, you felt as if you were floating in clouds and you were sure that it was not because of the pills you had taken earlier. His lips were so soft and he kissed you so softly as if you would break. You two had blush blooming on both of your cheeks. Joshua cleared his throat and said "Let's order some food. Knowing you, you probably didn't eat anything for dinner." You let out a gasp, "How the hell did you know that?" Joshua answered with his signature heart-winning smile, "Because I know you."

Note: This is my first fic I have ever written so it's not that good but I had fun writing it. Also, I have an account on Archive Of Our Own and I posted this there as well, so don't be alarmed if you see this there.

𝔥𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤 - 𝔥𝔧𝔰 || 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔦

pairing: hong jisoo x female!reader genre: historical au, fluff, angst, smut (later routes), supernatural members: lee jihoon, choi seungcheol, wen junhui, kwon soonyoung, jeon wonwoo, lee seokmin, kim mingyu, boo seungkwan, lee chan, xu minghao, lee chan, choi hansol warnings: crass humor and language, blood, violence, mentions of suicide, alcohol, minor character death, 660's sexism, crossdressing, medical procedures, political upset, historical inaccuracies for the sake of plot progression word count: 15k

taglist: @hipsdofangirl, @reiofsuns2001, @lovrehani

𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦 || 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔦𝔦

𝔉𝔢𝔟𝔯𝔲𝔞𝔯𝔶 6𝔱𝔥, 662 - 𝔖𝔢𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔢𝔬𝔩, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 The new year sweeps in not unexpectedly, but with a gust of cold that chills you to your core. Seorabeol sits under a blanket of snow, much like it had when you first arrived a little over a year ago now.  

You finish eating breakfast with the captains a little earlier than they do, you excuse yourself to make them some tea before their morning briefing. Thankfully, the halls remain warm, so you don’t need to worry about the winter chill as you make your way back to the main hall, the smattering of captains sitting around. 

“Thank you,” Eunseok says as you set down a cup for him, a smile on his lips as he wraps his cold fingers around the steaming ceramic. You make your way around the hall to give the captains their drinks, most giving you a curt but appreciative nod as you do so.

“The monks at this temple have been nice enough to let us stay here this long,” Jihoon calls out, disrupting your thoughts as he speaks to the captains, “but Shoshin is getting crowded.” 

“Especially with all of the new guys coming in,” Mingyu agrees, nodding his head. 

“If we could get a bigger space, that’d be good,” Junhui adds, a tinge to his voice as if he’s thinking about how little room there is to move around these days. “Even in the overflow buildings it’s stuffy.” 

“Most of these kids are nobles too, not accustomed to living like this,” Mingyu sighs, not vouching for them, just knowing it would take some time to acquaint themselves with their newfound home. 

“If we can find somewhere bigger to host us,” Seungkwan says, “I’m sure the newbies would be more appreciative.”  

“What about Bulguksa Temple?” The man sitting next to Youngmin speaks up, glancing over to the map hanging in the front of the room.  

“Bulguksa?” Suh Kangjoon frowns, looking towards the map, “Isn’t that a bit far?” 

“Maybe,” the man shrugs, “But it’s one of the only places big enough to accommodate the Seorabeol Hwarang. And its position would allow a tactical advantage in times of panic, it’s a relatively easy place to fortify.” 

After he’s done speaking, the man leans back in his chair to see what the others have to say. Kim Gongmyung had joined the Hwarang on Soonyoung’s excursion to Hanseong in early autumn of last year. His family’s school is quite popular there and his academics gained him notoriety with the nobles of the area. “Besides, it’s closer to the border so if there’s a need to intercept or fend off any Baekje loyalists looking for trouble, it’d put us in the best spot to do so.” 

“Those are good points,” Youngmin nods enthusiastically, “An exceptional amount of detail as always, Gongmyung.” 

Even if the chief thought it to be a good idea, a few voices rose in opposition. 

“Isn’t it a bit… presumptive to do something like that?” Seungcheol frowns at Gongmyung, his hands atop the table, fingers tapping along the wooden grains.  

Gongmyung’s smile flickers as he turns to the colonel, “Then would it be better to be negligent of the possibility, the high possibility, that the loyalists are up to something again?” His question leaves little room for the colonel to answer before he begins speaking again, “It’s a lovely thought, thinking that we’re safe now, but we all know it’s not true.” His deflection of Seungcheol’s statement leaves a bitter taste in everyone’s mouth.

“I agree that the loyalists need to be stopped, but to place our personal interest there instead of being directed to do so by the Crown or the council is…” Seungcheol trails off, clearly thinking more inwardly than he was expressing outwardly. 

“So, then, what should we do?” Another voice piques up, questioning Seungcheol. “Wait until the bastards are knocking at our door to actually do something about it? Or maybe wait until they’ve actually captured Munmu and have burned the palace to the gro-” 

“Doyoung,” Gongmyung interjects, “Watch your mouth.”

 “My mistake,” Doyoung scoffs after a moment of staring at his brother for interrupting him, “Couldn’t stop myself.” 

Kim Doyoung is the younger brother of Kim Gongmyung by blood, and only by the same father. Doyoung had joined the Hwarang with Gongmyung in autumn and had accompanied him to Seorabeol with both Soonyoung and Jihoon. 

“He still has the tendency to run his mouth like a child, still,” Gongmyung explains, “I apologize.” His attention then turns back to Seungcheol and away from his brother, “So, don’t take it too personally, please. I’m sure someone like you is needed to make the Hwarang successful. Even if your arm is unusable in a fight, your smarts and tactical abilities will prove all the more useful.”

 You see Seungcheol biting back a retort towards Gongmyung’s sour wording, the tension between the two only cut by another voice.  

“I don’t think I heard you correctly, Gongmyung.” It’s Jihoon, his voice low as if he’s trying to stabilize the tone so as to not sound angry. “Seungcheol is smart, as you said. He is not useless and not replaceable, make sure you don’t forget that.” The commander only speaks when there’s something important to be said, having spoken up now means that Gongmyung’s words must’ve gotten to him.  

“My arm, though…” Seungcheol mutters out, seemingly unable to finish the thought. Jihoon’s words remind him of what he once was, causing him to frown at the reality of it all. 

“I didn’t mean to cause such a disturbance,” Gongmyung sighs out with false sympathy, “I’ll be sure to keep my thoughts to myself next time. Seungcheol is quite a beloved member, I see, it’s nice to see such a tight knit group. I can only hope the new members share that sentiment.” 

Jihoon’s eyes seethe with anger as he glares at Gongmyung, but before he’s able to snip back, Youngmin steps in and tries to calm the air. 

“For now,” He begins, looking at each member of the opposing parties, “Let’s just keep matters on finding a new headquarter location. Gongmyung, would you mind coming with me? I’d love to continue our earlier conversation.” 

“Of course, Chief.” Gongmyung says and rises to his feet at the same time Youngmin does, the two begin to leave the room, quickly followed out by Kangjoon. 

“May I join you as well?” The latter asks before the two step out of the hall. 

“Of course,” Youngmin accepts, “I’d like you to hear what Gongmyung has to say, it may help you with strategy points.” 

“Thank you,” Kangjoon says with an appreciative smile as the three exits, shortly followed by Doyoung who scoffs at the encounter before slinking out after them. 

“Who’s the asshole that invited them to join us?” Seungkwan frowns once the sound of their footsteps fell out of earshot.  

“That asshole’s still in Hanseong,” Junhui huffs, “When Soonyoung gets back I might just wring his neck.” 

“The Kim’s father is friends with a few pro-military councilmen,” Mingyu muses, “Interesting to see that they’d join us if they share those same beliefs.”  

“They’re probably playing at some sort of superiority game,” Jihoon says, his arms crossing over his chest. “Just listen to the bullshit that Doyoung spouts off, and it looks like it’s rubbing off on Youngmin. And that’s definitely not good.” 

“Youngmin’s always been like that,” Seungkwan adds, “Easily deceived by those who act nice and appear virtuous but are just vipers waiting for the right time to strike.” 

“And Gongmyung’s the deputy commander with Doyoung in a captain’s position,” Mingyu shakes his head, “They’ve rooted themselves deep.” 

Jihoon’s gaze travels to Seungcheol, who’s been staring at the patterns in the wood since his conversation with Gongmyung. “Don’t listen to him,” the commander says to him in hopes of cheering him up.  

“Gongmyung is a skilled orator with a proficient education to back it,” Seungcheol laughs dryly, “And not only that, but he’s also skilled with a sword and bow. With a gifted Deputy Commander, the Hwarang have little need for a colonel now.” 

“Seungcheol-” Jihoon begins to protest as the colonel rises to his feet and starts to head for the exit. The commander’s voice trails after Seungcheol as he leaves quietly, no one daring to stop him. 

“Of all people…” Mingyu sighs out, crossing his arms as he leans back in his chair, “Even the wang-do are avoiding him now.” 

“Why?” You question and turn to the captain, “It’s not like he’s done anything wrong.” 

“It’s his attitude,” Junhui responds in the elder’s stead, “It doesn't matter what you say to him, he takes it the wrong way regardless.”

 “Not to mention the smartass tone he’s been taking up,” a twisted frown settles onto Mingyu’s face, “it’s no wonder the men are scared shitless of him.”

Their words confuse you, even though you haven’t been here as long as the other captains, Seungcheol was well liked among everyone in the Hwarang. After he’d received his injury, it seems as if that demeanor has taken a turn for the worse.  

“Can’t you come up with an excuse to get Gongmyung the hell out of here?” Seungkwan asks, turning towards Jihoon. “There’s barely been a moment of civility since he got here.” 

“You know I can’t do that,” Jihoon’s expression turns sour, “Youngmin’s all over the guy. Besides, he brought in a bunch of warriors from Hanseong, their allegiance doesn’t solely lie with us yet. They’ll pack up and leave the second we tell him to get lost.” 

“Fuck him though!” Seungkwan does little to quell the irateness of his voice, “You’re the goddamn demon commander, make the impossible happen!” 

Jihoon barks out a snarkish laugh, “Fine, Boo. How about I make you commander so you can kick Gongmyung and his thugs out?” 

“Hell no,” Seungkwan snickers, “That’s too much work.” 

It eventually comes to fruition that Gongmyung isn’t to be trusted, having no other captains speak out on his behalf.  

You’re going around once more to distribute tea to the men when you stop by Hansol, who’d been quiet for most of, if not all, of the prior conversation. He looks up at you, as if he had felt your thoughts wander over to him.  

“What are your thoughts on Gongmyung joining?” You ask as he sets down his teacup onto the tabletop.  

Hansol sighs as you begin topping off the cup, “As any group begins to grow in numbers, it’ll have more and more people with differing opinions.” You pull the pot away from his cup, staunching the flow of the liquid, “Although, if one intends to be the catalyst for change instead of it occurring naturally, the group will begin to kill itself from the inside out.” His words hang heavy as you stand next to him, unsure of what to say next.  

Gongmyung’s acceptance into the Hwarang, from your perspective, wasn’t to tear them apart, but maybe to cause dissension among the members. You’re not fond of him, but his treatment towards Seungcheol and the colonel’s receptiveness to the critiques is what worries you the most. It’s not as if his arm would work again overnight, it would take a miracle to happen, and Seungcheol doesn’t seem like the type to frequent shamans.  

Sometime later you find yourself wandering back to your room, the meeting dissipating with little to be done with the newest arrivals. Although cold outside, the setting sun gives off little warmth as you trapeze yourself through one of the gardens. The reddish-maroon of the sinking star unsettling you. 

You still have Seungcheol in mind as you pause for a moment, staring up at the shifting hues of the heavens. A conversation you’d heard in as the news of Seungcheol’s injury had spurred the conversation of the Furies as well as a serum. By the way they’d spoken of it, it made it seem as if the item was only used in dire circumstances, and it was highly secretive. You weren’t even supposed to know about it in the first place, but Soonyoung had let slip some information on it and now you can’t help but think on it. 

If you were to try and learn of it yourself, it’s no doubt that you’d find yourself in a world of trouble. Yet, you are the daughter of a physician, surely you have more medical knowledge than them?

 Falling onto your better judgment, you return to your quarters. Even if you’re worried about Seungcheol, you’re not sure that there’s much you can even do for him at this point.  

When the sun finally drops below the horizon, it seems as if Shoshin Temple bursts to life with activity. But the sounds aren’t boisterous, not the gaiety induced ones of the captains rough-housing, these were more ominous. You hear footsteps charge past your room, never seeming to cease as the men run off to an unknown location.  

Despite trying your best to keep out of it, your curiosity overtakes you, amalgamating in you slowly creeping out into the hall and following the sound of the commotion. The sounds take you to the main hall, the door left ajar so you quietly make your way inside. 

“To think that Seungcheol would’ve…” You can hear Youngmin’s voice, a seriousness in it as he comes into view. Jihoon and the other captains stand around him, each looking to be in a different stage of shock or disbelief.

 “What the hell were you all doing?!” Jihoon shouts out towards the other captains, his grief seeming to take shape in the form of unbridled anger, “I told you to watch out for Seungcheol! Was there some fucking part of that that you didn’t understand?” 

“You can’t blame us for this,” Junhui retorts defensively, “Who would’ve thought that he’d drink that shit? He was also in charge of that stuff so how were we supposed to know he had it?” 

“If he’d hidden it in a vial we wouldn’t have known,” Mingyu adds, glancing from Junhui to Jihoon, “And suppose that it does treat his arm… Everyone who took it went crazy. It didn’t work.” 

The serum… is that what the captains are referring to? You don’t have enough context on the situation to understand fully, but has Seungcheol taken whatever it is? 

“Seungcheol had been trying to improve it,” Hansol interjects, “He’d hoped his arm would heal before it deteriorated too much… Maybe he felt as if there wasn’t any other way. Regardless of that, when he realized his failure, he ignored Seungkwan and tried to kill himself.” 

“Kill himself?” You gasp aloud, momentarily forgetting that you aren’t supposed to be here. Slowly, all eyes shift to you, Jihoon’s gaze quickly meeting yours.

 “What are you doing here?” He asks and suddenly you’re unable to speak. His gaze holds an iciness that causes your throat to clam up, restricting any words that are trying to form. It’s the same way you felt upon entering Shoshin the first time, a mixture of anxiousness, suspicion and animosity.  

“Jihoon,” Youngmin says, his hand moving to rest on the commander’s forearm, “I think it’s time you tell her what’s going on. She is Heo’s daughter, after all.” 

Your eyes grow wide at the mention of your father’s name. Why is he being brought up all of a sudden? 

“I’m going to make this clear,” the commander stares at Youngmin with a grimace, looking back to you after a moment and sighing out lengthily, “The Hwarang don’t need you. There’s a chance that you’ll help us find Heo, but even without you, we’ll find him one way or another. Do anything strange and we’ll have you killed.” Your limbs feel frozen in place as he speaks, you’re able to stutter out an ‘Okay’ before he continues. “I’m going to tell you what’s happening here, but keep in mind that if you tell anyone else about it other than those that are in this room: it’s your own head.” 

“Are you… going to kill me?” 

“Not yet, but don’t think that means you’re free to run off.” 

“We never told you why your father was here in the first place,” Youngmin steps in, allowing you to break your gaze with Jihoon. “He was developing a… treatment of sorts.” 

“Like the one Seungcheol took?” Words forming on your lips, testing out how shocked you sound.  

The leader of the Hwarang nods solemnly, breathing in deeply before responding, “We first learned of it when one of the Crown’s men brought it to us. They told us it was obtained through trades with merchants in Tang.”

The curiosity of it all, as dreadful it may be, swirls inside of you. Culminating into something you’re not sure you have the words to describe.  

“A foreign drug said to augment a man’s healing and bolster their strength,” Hansol sighs out, “Anyone who drank their fill would, supposedly, be able to fight off a guhin with no issue.” His voice serious, despite having alluded to a mythical beast, “Any of their injuries would heal almost immediately, unless they were decapitated or pierced through the heart.

 This all sounds like something your father would’ve told you as a child to fuel your imagination, not something that is feasible now.  

“Yet, that power comes at a price. It spirals whoever drinks it into an unreturnable madness, they seek out human blood to satisfy their hunger instead of food or drink.” Hansol continues, looking at you with a wary gaze, “Heo took it upon himself to try it out on some of the Hwarang so that an attempt to perfect the serum could be worked on.” 

“My father?” You’re not sure how surprised you sound, something within you twinges but it’s probably the knowledge somewhere deep inside that you knew your father is connected to all of this. Yet knowing that he was using his skills to try and work on this… serum, makes a pit begin to form in your stomach. “So that night where you all found me...”

“We keep the men who’ve taken it to a temple just outside of Seorabeol, if they were kept here people would’ve become suspicious,” The explanation doesn’t tell you how you’d come to find them, but you can infer that they’d probably escaped. “As long as they don’t get any blood they stay relatively quiet.” With the way Hansol relays the information, it makes it seem as this is just a nonchalant topic for him, and it may have very well been. But to you, it’s alien but helps you put together a few things you’d been wondering since your arrival here. 

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asks, a tinge of concern to his voice, “You don’t look great.” He stops himself, scoffing inwardly before continuing, “Of course you’re not, this information would sicken anyone.”

“I think we’ve told her enough,” Jihoon interjects before Mingyu can continue, “We need to think about what to do with Seungcheol.”

“I guess…” Junhui frowns, crossing his arms, “But he was practically dead when Eunseok took him out of here.”

“This was a new draught of that shit, though,” Jihoon sounds as if he’s trying to contain himself, to keep his hopefulness on the floor, “we don’t know if the effects are any different from the last batch. And if it’s supposed to do what it's meant to, then that cut isn’t going to kill him.” His eyes flicker to the leader, “Youngmin, can you watch over him? I know Eunseok’s taking care of him but he’s just a kid and I don’t think that-” A pause as he catches himself fretting, he gives himself a second to straighten up, “Tonight will tell us if he’s meant to live or die, and whether he’ll be sane or not by the end of it.”

“Of course, isn’t Seungkwan with him as well?” Youngmin asks before he turns on his heels and heads towards the door.

“He’s guarding the room,” A curt response from Jihoon before Youngmin nods and exits the main hall, the sound of his footsteps dying down after a moment.

“I want you to keep everyone away from the captain’s wing,” Jihoon looks towards Mingyu, a frown dancing on his lips, “Especially Gongmyung’s men.”

“I know,” Mingyu huffs looking to where Youngmin had exited.

“Junhui, go and check on Hwangnyongsa.”

Another order from Jihoon, Junhui nods wordlessly and begins to head towards the main exit of the headquarters. As he passes, you see a glint of the same hostility he’d held towards you on the night of your first arrival. It’s tense and suspicious of you, an itch of gooseflesh overcoming you as he walks out into the night.

“Hansol, go to the inner courtyard, if the Kim brothers or their men show up, keep them busy,” And before Hansol’s even left the room, Jihoon’s gaze settles on you. “I want you to stay with one of the captains.” His concern stems not for the care of your well-being, that much is evident in his gaze, but more to the fact that tonight isn’t a good night to be wandering around alone.

“I’d stay away from Hwangnyongsa, they get rowdy at night,” Mingyu notes, his teeth biting at his cheek.

You nod, thankful for the suggestion, but even with his warning, you’d be limited in where you could go.

“I think I’ll stay here,” you assert to the remaining men, nodding to yourself that this is probably the safest place you could remain within the compound.

It doesn’t take long for Hansol and Mingyu to take their leave, heading for their respective locations around the headquarters before you’re left alone with the commander.

The main hall feels suffocating, mostly from Jihoon’s quietness and the thoughts of what had transpired here merely an hour beforehand. Your gaze shifts from looking out of the main entrance to the commander, his brow furrowing and eyes looking sullen. It’s easy to see that the events of tonight are eating away at him, his concern for his second-in-command utterly gnawing at his very being. His eyes close and he lets out a quiet sigh before speaking again,

“You might think you know who Seungcheol is, but this… It’s not really who he is. He’s an intelligent man who is more than just a sword. The colonel sees the full picture rather than what lies duly in front of him.” Another sigh as if he’s reminiscing, “His guidance helped me through a lot more than I’d like to credit, but his words were always more commandeering than his blade. In a way he was more powerful than me, without him, the Hwarang would’ve regressed to the likes of the Wonhwa.” A subtle smile curling on his lips, “He was like my big brother.” Hands balling into fists atop the table, there is a sincerity that drips from his words bitterly.

“He must mean a lot to you,” you say softly, your own hands falling into your lap, your back hitting the back of the chair as you lean.

“It sounds a little childlike when you say it aloud,” the absinthian smile still clinging to him. He sits, probably thinking the worst outcome for his longtime friend, reminiscing on their past and contemplating what it may mean for the future. Jihoon’s position leaves him unable to divulge this with most others, yet by sharing them with you, he can hold off on the truth for a while longer.

“The only reason we didn’t get rid of that serum is because we thought we could heal his arm with it somehow… Because I thought we could heal him,” the smile fades away, replaced with a grimace. “I should’ve seen this coming.” His own hands fall away from the tabletop and to his sides, a relent in the tension building in his shoulders, “We need Seungcheol. We can’t lose him.”

Anguish comes over him due to the morality of his friend. It’s hard to watch, and you’re nowhere near close enough to him to offer him substantial comfort or advice.

“Let’s have faith,” quiet words leaving you as you straighten up in your chair, his gaze flickering over to you, “In both his spirit and strength.”

“Yeah… You’re right. All we have now is our faith.”

𝔉𝔢𝔟𝔯𝔲𝔞𝔯𝔶 7𝔱𝔥, 662 - 𝔖𝔢𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔢𝔬𝔩, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 The night breaks into dawn long after you've retired to your room. A clattering of noise and the rise of voices rouse you from slumber and pull you back to the main hall. Upon entering, you find that the captains have gathered, each in conversation with one another. This scene isn’t interrupted until Eunseok enters.

“It seems as if the hardest part for him is over,” The youngest nods, a collective ball of tension in the room dissipating instantly.

“How is he?” Mingyu asks, looking to Eunseok.

“Still asleep,” he nods, “he was in and out of consciousness the entire night, but he looks peaceful now.”

“Has he gone crazy like the others?” Junhui’s question is blunt as he blurts it out into the space.

Eunseok shakes his head in the negative, “Not seemingly. But we won’t know until he wakes up. But as for now, he looks as he always has.”

Before another captain is able to ask Eunseok of Seungcheol’s status, the doors open and Gongmyung strides into the room.

“Good morning, everyone,” A cheap smile painted on his face, “How are you?”

You can hear Junhui let out a soft, “Fuck,” at the sight of him.

Gongmyung scans the faces of the captains after their muffled hellos, “You all look… gloomy.”

“Isn’t it obvious that it’s because we’ve got to see your beautiful face every morning?” Junhui bites with a snicker.

“What a… cute response,” Gongmyung’s quick to brush away the insult as he turns to the other captains. “Is the reason you all look so down because of what happened last night?”

“Ah, actually,” Youngmin begins, fumbling over his words. His gaze hops from captain to captain, looking for someone to relieve him of trying to offer an excuse to Gongmyung.

“Mingyu,” Junhui’s elbow finds the older’s side as he whispers, “make something up!”

“You see,” Mingyu says after a moment, he too, stumbling over his words, “Well… Uh, yesterday…”

“Didn’t you say you used to act for the nobles in your village?” Seungkwan scoffs at him quietly, “Be quiet and let someone else do the talking.” You think he’s talking about himself, but instead of speaking up, Seungkwan looks to Hansol, who begins speaking almost immediately.

“As you may have heard, an incident occurred last night at the headquarters,” voice plain as he speaks to the Deputy Commander, “We have yet to gain fully knowledge on the situation. If we were to make a statement now, it is a risk of polluting fact with falsities. Later this afternoon I’m sure we’ll be able to provide a much more detailed report.”

“Hmm,” Gongmyung mulls over Hansol’s statement for a moment, “I’ll look forward to hearing all about what happened later this evening, then. For now, I’ll return to my men.” He waves everyone on his way out, a strange smile cutting across his face before he exits.

“That was easier than it should’ve been” Seungkwan huffs, watching the door close with a soft slam.

“What do you mean?” You ask, attention turning from the door and to Seungkwan.

“Gongmyung isn’t stupid, unfortunately,” Jihoon frowns and looks to you, “We shouldn’t have let him in here. The only person missing from our ranks is Seungcheol, it’s not going to take him long to realize that something’s happened to him.”

The Deputy Commander had most likely suspected what had occurred but decided to not press the issue. Before you can think on it for too long, the door opens once more and Choi Seungcheol shuffles in.

A small laugh as he looks to them, his voice sounding a little weak, “Come on, it’s not like I’m some kind of monster.”

Eunseok rushes to him, offering assistance to stance but is waved away by the Colonel, “You should be resting, are you okay being up like this?”

“I’m tired… sore… but I suppose that’s a side effect of my new condition,” Seungcheol’s brow furrows slightly as he looks down to his hand, “Those who’ve taken the serum have found it difficult to do work in the daylight.” His face is a bit pallid, but with the way he stands and moves, it doesn’t seem like he’s hindered all too much. “I’m no longer human,” the words echoing around the room with a chilling effect. Each and every captain falling silent to them.

“Who cares about what you are?” Youngmin speaks up after a moment and steps towards Seungcheol with a bright smile, trying to lighten the mood, “All that matters is that you’re alive.”

“How’s your arm? Healed?” Seungkwan questions, looking down to the colonel’s once bandaged limb.

“I don’t think I’ve fully recovered yet,” Seungcheol notes, flexing his fingers at his side, “It seems to have healed for the most part.”

Despite the disturbance and subsequent chaos of the night prior, it seems like Seungcheol’s wish to use his arm again had come true.

“You can’t go out in the sunlight though, right?” Mingyu asks, voice concerned, and his brow furrowed, “Will you still be able to fight with us?”

Seungcheol nods, slowly moving his head as if he’s mulling over a thought he’d been holding in for some time. “I think you should tell everyone I died.”

“What!?” Junhui shouts out, unable to hold in the burst of confusion. “The fuck are you on about?”

“I should serve in the Corps from now on. It’ll show them, and even more so, us, that success isn’t some far off dream.” Seungcheol says, looking at the frazzled captain.

“Have you lost your goddamn mind Seungcheol?” Junhui’s voice shakes with every word, “Do you know what you’re saying?”

“Of course, I do,” Seungcheol frowns, “The Crown has ordered us to keep the serum a secret, and if I,” a small hum as he postulates his next word, “die, that secret remains so. Researching in secret will give me more ability to track side effects and even give me the potential to remove them. What reason do we have for me not to if we’re going to use it?”

The movements of the captains easily show that they’re against Seungcheol’s idea, although no one but Junhui has said anything against it. None of them wish to banish their friend to a life of hiding and secrecy.

“We were given this task by the late King himself, carried on by his son…” Youngmin trails off, “This may be our only choice.” 

“This is what you asked for, isn’t it Seungcheol?” Seungkwan shoots him a look, “You’ve always been the type to take things into your own hands so I can’t fault you for that.”

“Sometimes I think you know me too well,” the colonel chuckles.

Jihoon, who’s stayed silent for a majority of the conversation, scoffs at the remark. “This means moving the Hwarang to a new location can’t wait any longer. If we’re going to hide Seungcheol from Gongmyung and his crowd, Shoshin wouldn’t allow us to do that easily.”

“You’re right,” Hansol affirms, “If the Colonel intends to begin researching again, then we’ll have to expedite our move.”

A nod from the commander as he turns to face the captains in full, “Even though none of you slept well, we need to get to work.” He looks to you, “You should get some rest, I know you didn’t sleep well either.”

You want to stay and help them, but with how fatigued you are from staying up so late you can only nod your head at him before quickly shuffling back to your room.

The same thoughts that had plagued you last night as you tried to fall asleep plague you as you now lie on your bedding. Your father’s work… Are you safe under their pretext of safety still? Thoughts still buzzing around your head as you eventually find yourself drifting off into a dreamless slumber.

𝔍𝔲𝔫𝔢 4𝔱𝔥, 662 – 𝔅𝔲𝔩𝔤𝔲𝔨𝔰𝔞 𝔗𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 Bulguksa Temple has proven a better headquarters than that of Shoshin Temple, you’d come to this conclusion in the subsequent weeks of your arrival in March of this year. There’s much more room for the men to freely roam and train, and the view was even more astonishing than the last. The only downfall is the longer trek to the city of Seorabeol itself. On some days you still find yourself lost on the winding paths to the temple, but for the most part you can guide yourself around with little assistance from the monks who reside there.

On this particular day, you find yourself wandering the seemingly endless grounds for the Hwarang’s colonel. When you think you spot him standing in one of the shaded courtyards of the temple’s grounds you shout out to him.

“There you are, Seungcheol,” You call out, a tray held tightly in your grasp. The sun hangs in the sky above you, a slight burn beginning to burgeon on your clothed shoulders as you approach. “I’ve brought you your lunch.”

“Oh, hello,” he turns to you with a smile and beckons you closer, “Thank you.” A bird chirps in the branches of the tree above him, you look up to find the small creature before returning your gaze to him. You offer him a smile before extending out the tray to him.

“It’s really gotten warm lately, hasn’t it?” You note, stepping into the shade once he’d taken the tray. Fingers rising to your shoulders to feel the heat of the sun that had soaked into the fabric.

“It has,” he nods, moving to set the tray down on a stump beside him, “Although the increased sunshine has been more disagreeable than the warmth.”

“Ah, is it?” The sun doesn’t feel but so harsh on you, but the heat that swells around the compound has been making you sweat since the sun broke over the horizon. Yet, to Seungcheol his disposition probably found the light unbearable from his days in the shadows.

Sometimes it feels unreal to call Seungcheol dead, the night where he’d taken that serum to transform him into a creature lustful for blood feeling more so like a dream whenever you recall it. As he stands before you now, you can hardly imagine it.

A light breeze wafts through the greenery around you, parting enough leaves in the tree from a few beams of sunlight to fall onto Seungcheol. For a moment, his hair turns a silvery white and his eyes seem to turn a deep crimson.

Your eyes widen and you take a step back, unsure if it were a trick of the light or your own imagination.

“Is something wrong?” He asks, his hair now normal and his eyes once again brown. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, and I know I’m not at that point yet.” Maybe you had imagined it.

𝔍𝔲𝔫𝔢 6𝔱𝔥, 662 – 𝔅𝔲𝔩𝔤𝔲𝔨𝔰𝔞 𝔗𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 Soonyoung had asked you to accompany him on his rounds this morning with an excitedness in his voice that would’ve been hard to turn down. So, now you find yourself briskly walking with him through the crowded streets, the blues of his robes shining brilliantly in the midday sky.

“It’s been a while since you’ve asked me to come on patrol with you,” You note as you pass a vendor selling sickeningly sweet treats.

“I know, right? Hanseong kept me pretty busy.” He sighs out, having only just returned from his trip to the northern city just a few weeks ago. “Junhui and Mingyu didn’t mess with you when I was gone, did they? How was it when I was away?”

“Everything was fine, and they didn’t bother me,” You assure him with a small smile.

“That’s good,” He returns the smile as you continue to walk. “Any updates on Heo though? Did you find any leads?”

“No,” the smile from your lips quickly leaving.

“I see…” His own smile quickly disappears as he watches you, “I stopped by his place with the information you gave me but… It didn’t seem as if anyone had returned.” The somberness of the male begins to transfer to you, a feeling of hopelessness beginning to overtake you momentarily.

“Thank you for taking the time to check for me, I know Toehwa-hyeon isn’t on the direct path back.”

“Don’t thank me for that,” He waves you off, “The fact that you can’t freely come and go as you please is completely the Hwarang’s faul—”

“Soonyoung?” You question as he’d stopped himself mid-sentence. He’d looked glum ever since his return from Hanseong. “How about you, though? I know it’s been a while since you’ve been back in Seorabeol.”

“I do feel like the city’s changed, the people too,” he muses, glancing to the faces that pass by. There’s a solemness to his tone that wasn’t typically there in conversations you’d had with him prior, had something happened in Hanseong? Before you can question him on it, his head jerks to look above the crowd, standing on his toes and waving to someone across the way.

“Find anything over there, Seungkwan?!” He shouts out above the clamor of the street.

“Nope,” the older replies as he saunters over, “Nothing out of order here.” Seungkwan is out for patrol too, but his route takes him through a different path through the city. “Normal for now, at least. Things will change once the king comes back from his family villa. Rumor has it that he’s going to address the Hwarang.”

“Is he really?” You question, brow raising in surprise.

“Yep, it’s got Youngmin all flustered,” Seungkwan chuckles, “Our dear leader really respects the Crown, as well all have to, I guess.”

“I see,” you nod, “I hope it actually happens, then, right, Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung looks lost in thought before he hears his name, stumbling out his words as he responds, “Ah, yeah, right.”

You look to Seungkwan to see if he’s caught on to the younger’s oddness. But he’s stifling his mouth with his hand, coughing into it.

“Are you alright?” You question him as his hand falls away from his mouth.

“I’m okay,” he waves you off, “I probably just caught a cold from patrolling late one night or something.”

“Well, try to take care of yourself,” a sigh leaving you. As strong and intelligent as the men were, they hardly ever took care of their basic needs, “I have some cold medicine back at the headquarters, I’ll give you some.”

“Thanks,” Seungkwan smiles, “I guess it is good to have you around at times.” Something catches his attention, and he breaks his gaze away from you and into the crowds of the street.

“Is something wrong?”

“What do you mean ‘no’?” A voice rings out and you follow it to see a man holding the wrist of a woman trying to get away from him.

“Let go of me!” She cries out, trying to pull herself away from his grip.

“We’re soldiers of this great kingdom, fighting hard every day to kick these loyalists’ asses! You owe us some drinks, and maybe even a little company.” The man says, and it’s then you realize it isn’t just him, but two other presumed soldiers are harassing this woman.

“Are you guys seeing this?” You question to the two captains.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung frowns, “Stay here.”

Yet, before Soonyoung could step forward, Seungkwan seems to be several steps ahead, reaching the group already.

“Soldiers don’t seem to be what they used to,” he tuts, “throwing that rank aloud doesn’t mean you’re owed anything.” The crowds coming to watch the scene shuffle away from Seungkwan as he hovers his hand on his blade, glaring at the men. As the harassers catch the blues of the Hwarang’s robes they seem to stiffen.

“You’re a Hwarang, aren’t you?” One of them asks, furrowing their brow.

“And you must be the smartest one out of these men,” Seungkwan’s tone is condescending as his hand now rests on the hilt of his sword. “Now, what’s it going to be?” A snide, predatory smile as he grips the hilt, no happiness deriving from the grin as the soldier’s faces pale.

“Why don’t you leave us alone? This doesn’t involve you.” The one presumed to be their ringleader remarks.

“If you really want to get out of here unscathed, you should probably follow your own advice,” Soonyoung scoffs, now saddling up beside Seungkwan.

The sight of two Hwarang seems enough to deter the men from their endeavor. Their faces draining of color before they scamper off like scolded dogs.

“If they’re just gonna run off like that when they see us, they shouldn’t have tried to start anything in the first place,” Soonyoung sighs, watching them disappear into the crowds.

“Aren’t you going to go after them?” You ask, looking at them as you walk over.

“And charge them with what?” Seungkwan questions, retracting his hand away from his blade and crossing his arms, “Didn’t think you were the iron fist kind of person.”

Before you can protest that that’s not what you meant, the woman whom the two Hwarang had intervened for speaks up, “Thank you for saving me.” She gives both Seungkwan and Soonyoung a bow, more grace in her movements than you could ever hope to have. Even if you dressed like a girl, you’re not sure you’d even come close.

Seungkwan’s hand lands on your shoulder before you’re able to feel any sorrier for yourself. “Seungkwan?” You question as he pulls you forward to stand next to the girl.

“Just go with it,” he says and steps away from the two of you, his hand under his chin as he looks over both of you. You smile softly at the girl, embarrassed as to what the Hwarang is making you do. She returns the smile, beautiful on the outside but there is something almost… strange about it.

“Just as I thought,” Seungkwan nods, “They look just like each other.”

And then it hits you, the girl standing before you looks just as you do whenever you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirrors dotting the headquarters.

“Really?” Soonyoung questions, tilting his head at the two of you, “I don’t think they look alike at all, Boo.”

“Dress ‘em up like a girl and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference,” Seungkwan insists.

“Captain Boo…” The woman says, looking at you, “She seems troubled.”

She? Had the woman caught on to you so soon? Stuck in your thoughts she smiles at you once more, “I want to thank all of you properly, but I’m afraid that I’m in the middle of something important. My name is Hak Ahro, I hope I’ll be able to repay you soon, Captain Boo.”

And with that she too disappears like a wisp into the crowds of Seorabeol, the strangeness of her presence lingering long after she’s left.

“It looks like she likes you, Seungkwan!” Soonyoung nudges the elder with his elbow.

“Is that really what you think, Soonyoung?” The other laughs, “You’ve got a long way to go before you’re at Junhui’s prowess levels.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Soonyoung shouts at the other, clearly offended by the remark.

Their bickering fades away as you look to a puddle on the ground left from the rain the night prior. Looking into it now, you see the resemblance that you and that woman had had. “Ahro…” You hum as a gust of wind causes the water to ripple and distort your figure.

“Let’s get going!” Soonyoung calls, now further down the street as he’d begun walking back to Bulguksa.

“Coming!” You shout out to him as you look up from the puddle and begin to chase after him.

𝔍𝔲𝔫𝔢 11𝔱𝔥, 662 – 𝔅𝔲𝔩𝔤𝔲𝔨𝔰𝔞 𝔗𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 The main hall of this temple is open enough so that most, if not all, of the Seorabeol Hwarang can fit inside of it with ample room to spare. It’s a little strange to see all of these faces in one place, seeing as at Shoshin, only the captains and a few other members took priority of occupying the main hall. Yet, as Kwak Youngmin stands proudly in front of his men, any thoughts of the prior location escape your mind.

“By now it’s probably not our best kept secret, but King Munmu has asked us to act as his guard as he returns from his family’s villa to Banweolseong.” Youngmin beams excitedly as the hall begins to erupt in chatter.

“Guard him?” Junhui looks shocked as he turns towards Mingyu, “What’s that about?”

“I don’t know,” the elder shakes his head in disbelief, “I thought we were just going to get the usual ‘Keep up the good work’ spiel.”

“Our work at Wonweol and Ongsan must’ve gotten through to them,” Jihoon nods, a hidden smile pulling at his lips.

“The leadership of Silla resting on us,” Seungkwan muses almost gleefully, “That’s big.”

“Exactly right,” Jihoon agrees, “We’ve got to do beyond our best for this.”

On the opposite end of the hall, you can hear Suh Kangjoon speak up, “Guarding the king… That’s quite the promotion for us.”

“It truly is,” Gongmyung notes with a sigh, “If only Seungcheol were alive to see it. He would’ve been overjoyed.” Another lamenting breath tiptoeing on faux sympathy, “To have lost such an ally…”

Kim Gongmyung and all of his followers had been told of the colonel’s passing. Actually, the incident surrounding Seungcheol’s transformation had been hidden, only a few of the Hwarang knowing the reality of the situation.

“I think doing our best to serve and protect the king is what Seungcheol would’ve wanted,” Youngmin interjects himself into their conversation.

“Yes,” Gongmyung nods, “Of course. This is an excellent opportunity for us to gain favor with the masses.”

“We ought to assign roles at this point. I’d like Jihoon, Seungkwan, and myself to—” Youngmin begins before being cut off my Jihoon.

“Sorry Kwak, but do you think Boo can sit this one out?” The commander’s arms cross over his chest as he glances towards the third party.

“Why’s that?” Youngmin questions, confusion sweeping his features. 

“His cold hasn’t recovered fully. And despite me telling him to take care of himself, he neglects to do so,” He sighs out, looking back towards Youngmin.

“Is this true, Seungkwan?” Youngmin looks to the swordsman, “Are you alright?”

“Lee’s just babying me again,” Seungkwan says with a dismissive gesture, “I think I’m alright.”

“Don’t give me that shit,” Jihoon frowns, “You nearly coughed up a lung earlier.”

“Are you trying to sell me medicine?” He scoffs, crossing his arms with a frown, “There’s no way in hell I’m taking what your mother’s doctor prescribed anymore. It tastes like persimmons.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to—” a frustrated grunt from the commander, “Just do what I say, for once.”

You recall giving Seungkwan medicine some time ago after he’d been coughing while out on patrol, had it not helped him? It could be dust particles in the air, you know that the buildup of dust in the temple caused you to sneeze incessantly some mornings.

From the corner of your periphery, you see someone raise their hand.

“Is something wrong, Soonyoung?” Youngmin asks, having seen the younger calling for attention.

“I’m uh, I’m not feeling so great either,” Soonyoung frowns, his eyes looking panicked.

“You too?” Youngmin hums in defeat, “You should try and take care of yourself. I was hoping we could all go and guard the king.”

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung bows his head in apology.

“No, no, don’t worry about it. Your health comes first, always!” Youngmin tries to brighten his tone to detract from the now somber mood. “I’m sure we’ll have another chance to do something great together!”

Jihoon and Youngmin continue discussing the precession that’s to take place, when suddenly, the commander turns to you.

“What’re you going to do?” Jihoon asks, an eyebrow raised as he poses the question.

“What do you mean?” You say as you look to him, “Are you asking if I want to go with you?”

“I am,” He nods and after a moment of silence asks, “Are you?”

“Is that really, okay?”

“Of course, it is!” Youngmin smiles, “We won’t mind. Besides, you’re practically one of us, I’d love for you to accompany us.”

Another moment of hesitation before Seungkwan laughs aloud, “Why don’t you go? It seems a lot safer than what happened at Wonweol and Ongsan.”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung nods, “I can’t imagine any loyalists would try to do anything when the king will be so heavily guarded.”

“I’ll go, then,” you nod firmly towards the commander.

“Alright,” Jihoon nods back with a small smile, “I thought we’d give you the job of running messages when needed. It’s not going to be the easiest job but I figure you can do it.”

Later that day you and the able captains and Hwarang left Seorabeol. Traveling about an hour or two outside of the city as you wait for the king’s caravan to greet you in a small village that you can’t remember the name of. You never actually saw the king, but you follow the Hwarang back to Seorabeol, arriving at the gates of the city just as the sun dips below the horizon. The walk through the city is brisk, and in no time the caravan disbands and you and a few other Hwarang stand outside the palace gates. By now, Youngmin, Junhui and Gongmyung are probably greeting officials and other important members of the king’s retinue.

You shift on your feet for a moment, the sole aching slightly from the trek earlier, but you have a job to do. Jihoon had tasked you to tell the Hwarang when to change their shift and to carry any important messages when needed. It’s something of a glorified page position, but it’s not an entirely useless role… probably.

“You’re the messenger?” A voice says as you approach them, “This isn’t a vacation, you know.”

“I’m not here to relax, Doyoung,” you sigh as you stand before him.

“Is that right? Then why did we take someone here who can’t even use a sword?” Doyoung scoffs, the light from a nearby brazier flickering across the sneer on his face.

“I’m here to do what I can,” You state firmly before beginning to relay your message. “The Chief is currently paying his respects to members of the court, everyone else should continue guarding.”

“Message understood,” he says flippantly, causing you to look confused with how he didn’t retort on it. “What? Surprised I actually listened to you?”

“Oh no—I just—”

“It’s a job,” He frowns, “It’s not personal. Now you’ve delivered your message, get going.”

You don’t ever speak much to Doyoung, mostly on account of his brother being Gongmyung, but maybe he’s more responsible than you thought him to be.

After he shoos you away, you continue to make your rounds, delivering messages to the Hwarang stationed around the castle. They’re easy to spot, wearing their white robes instead of their normal blues. They seem laxer now, maybe because the loyalists had been driven out of the capital for the most part, the Baekje revivalists fleeing back to the territory of the old kingdom.

After he shoos you away, you continue to make your rounds, delivering messages to the Hwarang stationed around the castle. They’re easy to spot, wearing their white robes instead of their normal blues. They seem laxer now, maybe because the loyalists had been driven out of the capital for the most part, the Baekje revivalists fleeing back to the territory of the old kingdom.

As you think that, and begin to approach another member of the Hwarang some distance away, your blood runs cold. A prick of gooseflesh running along your spine as your heartbeat reaches your ears. You can taste the blood in the air, looking around the trees encasing the palace and finding nothing. It’s not until you look at the castle walls and the walkway situated on top of it, does your stomach sink. Three figures jump down from the wall, landing on the dirt ground with a cloud of gritty dust.

“You’ve found us, then,” A familiar voice sighs out as they turn to you, stating your name somewhat coolly. The figure, flanked by two others, is haloed in the moonlight as you squint your eyes to try and get a better look at his face. “Not too slow.” Their piercing gaze fires into you, the name ‘Hong Jisoo’ battering through your mind as you remember the distinctive voice and way he carries himself. The last you’d seen him had been at Ongsan, and you face him now with much more dread than you’d had that day.

The two figures beside him must be Hwan Minhyun and Xu Minghao, the people whom other Hwarang had encountered during the battle at the fortress. You know they have ties with the inner court and had tried to stop the Hwarang’s efforts during the battle at Wonweol and Ongsan.

“Why are you here?” You question, trying to keep your voice steady.

“You mean ‘how’ did we get here, don’t you?” the one on Jisoo’s left, questions. “Man made obstacles are meaningless to a Demon.”

“We’re here for only one reason: you.” The other speaks up, crossing his arms.

“Me?” You take a step back, the pounding of your heart unrelenting as you stare at them. “I don’t understand.” How do they know your name? “What do you mean by Demon? Is this some kind of joke?”

Jisoo scoffs, “You, of all people, are asking that? Maybe you’re the one who’s joking.” He steps forward, toward you, the shadows seeming to cling to his robes as he walks.

When the man you now presume to be Minhyun speaks, it’s soft, almost caring in a way, “When you’re injured, do you heal quickly?” Your breath catches in your throat as he continues, “You heal faster than anyone around you, right?”

This knowledge about you is unknown to almost everyone except for you and your father… how do they know this? You think to the last time that you saw Jisoo, he’d made a similar note on the cut he’d given you on your cheek.

You’re about to try and pull yourself together to defend yourself from the accusations when the other man, Minghao speaks up. “Wouldn’t it be better to just give her a demonstration?” His hand begins to reach for the quiver on his back before Jisoo speaks up.

“Minghao, do you really think I’d let you hurt a female Demon?” His voice slightly agitated as he glanced at the other.

“Don’t tell me what to do, Hong.” He scoffs, “She’s being stubborn, what do you suggest we do?”

Jisoo breaks his glare, only for his eyes to settle on the blade at your hip. “Her family’s name is a Demon’s; she carries the Demon of Taebaeksan’s right blade. Isn’t that enough evidence?”

“My… name?” What’s wrong with ‘Heo’? His narrative, largely unknown to you, is cause enough for you to continue to panic.

“Then again, it’s not like we need your permission to kidnap you,” Jisoo muses, looking at you with a frown, “Come with us or we’ll have to take you instead.” His hand outstretches towards you like a lure trying to bait in a fish. You step back, away from him, when you feel two figures brush past you.

“Woah there,” Mingyu says as he stops, feet hitting the ground as his hand reaches for and pulls out his sword, “This really isn’t the place to try and pick up a woman.”

“You again?” Jisoo asks as he steps back, a sneer on his lips, “For a noble you really do like to keep it simple.”

“The same could be said to you,” Hansol says to him, also reaching for his blade. He looks back to you, “When we heard you hadn’t given your messages out on time, we came to look for you.”

You nod and step back once more, your legs becoming unsteady as if the adrenaline that had been coursing through you suddenly left you at once. A hand catches you before you fall, pulling you further away from the skirmish.

“Stay back here,” Jihoon says sternly, looking towards the trio of assailants. His hand guides you to his side before he lets go of you, reaching for his blade. “I thought you’d be here for the king,” He says to Jisoo, “What do you want with her?”

“I don’t have any interest in you or this kingdom right now,” Jisoo says, looking past the commander and at you, “This matter only concerns us Demons.”

“Demons?” Jihoon scoffs, narrowing his eyes at the foe. He seems confused by the statement, perhaps hoping there’d be a more coherent and understandable reason for Jisoo’s presence.

“Haven’t seen you since Ongsan,” Minghao notes, looking over to Mingyu and Hansol.

“Looks like it’s fate,” Mingyu huffs out, “not that I’m particularly happy about it.”

“I don’t feel great about this reunion either,” Hansol sighs and pulls out his sword, Mingyu following suit.

The tension lays thick in the air, settling into your throat so that you find it hard to speak or breathe. With the slightest movement that could set them off, you reflexively reach for the blade at your hip so that should anything arise, you’ll be ready.

“Don’t worry about them,” A voice from behind you speaks up. Cloaked in the shadows from the nearby forest, Minhyuck slowly approaches you. “Jihoon’s asked me to escort you back to headquarters.”

“Are you telling me to run?” You ask, gaze shifting from Minhyuck to Jihoon, who’s still locked eyes with Jisoo.

“I am,” Minhyuck nods, reaching out so that you might take his hand, “Even if you stay there’s little you can do.”

You shake your head, his hand falling away back to his side, “I’m going to stay.”

“What do you think you’ll be able to do here?” Chan doesn’t sound condescending, just confused as to why you’d wish to stay and endanger yourself further.

You think to what the three intruders had said to you prior, the want to know more about what they’d called you sought itself out with more priority than your own safety at the moment.

“You have a reason, I see.” The Hwarang shakes his head, not waiting for a response as he sees the conviction already dead-set in your gaze. “I can admire that. But I do have my orders. You may want to stay because you want to do what you believe is right, but I have to do the same.” His hand outstretches towards you once more, a pleading look in his eye as he quietly asks for you to go with him.

Before his fingers are able to brush against the linen of your robes, an arrow whizzes by, buzzing before it lands with a solid ‘thunk’ in a tree behind Chan. Gaze traveling back to where it had been fired, you find Minghao lowering his bow, his hand still hovering over his quiver should he need to take another shot.

“She said she wanted to stay,” Minghao sighs, grabbing another arrow before loosely notching it, “You have to learn to respect a woman’s wishes.”

Mingyu lurches forward with his sword in retaliation for the attack on his fellow Hwarang, hoping to land a blow somewhere on Minghao’s abdomen. The strike though, is easily dodged by the bowman, who merely steps aside and watches as Mingyu’s feet falter as he moves to sling his bow over his shoulder and reach for the sword at his hip.

“Minghao’s temper is going to get him in trouble one day,” you hear Minhyun note with a frown as he witnesses the event.

“Evidently so,” Hansol agrees, sword still clenched in his fist, “You don’t seem like you’re going to stop him, though.” He then moves to strike the unarmed foe, swinging his sword in a downward motion to try and disrupt the lax stance Minhyun was in.

“And here I was,” a clanging of metal as Minhyun seems to unsheathe his sword in a blink of an eye and move it upwards to counter Hansol’s blow, “thinking we could just talk this through!”

“Who the hell are these guys?” Jihoon says through grit teeth as you hover your hand over your blade once more.

You reach for the blade at your hip, wrapping your fingers around the hilt as you look to Jisoo. Both Minhyun and Minghao had displayed superhuman levels of skills; something that still leaves you a bit awestruck. Your swordsmanship can’t be of much hep to your friends, but you need to distract the enemy even for a fraction of a second to let them have their chance.

As he hears you draw your blade, Jihoon shouts, “Get out of here, you idiot! He’ll tear you apart!” His scream makes you second guess yourself and you sheathe your sword, “Chan, keep her out of this! Don’t let her get any closer!”

“You mistake me for the shit I scrape from my shoes,” Jisoo interrupts, “I give you the honor of fighting me, and you talk… Very well.” The man raises his blade to Jihoon once more, “I’ll show you who truly is in control, so you can shut your mouth for good.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Jihoon huffs as he looks back to Jisoo. “I still owe you one for taking out my men at Ongsan.”

“Hmph, I don’t keep track of each and every insect I squash.”

The rivalry sparks between them, a fire igniting in their gazes before Jihoon takes the first step. They run towards each other, their swords clanging together and ringing out through the nighttime sky. Blades screaming against one another as they’re pulled apart by the respective opponent, Jihoon seeks to swing again only to be parried by Jisoo with ease.

“What the hell are you?” Jihoon asks as the two part once more, his breathing heaving as it seems as if he’d thrown his all into his last strike.

“Haven’t I already said what I was? A Demon,” Jisoo frowns, barely looking scathed by the short skirmish, “but not just me, or them, but her too.” His gaze flickers over to you for a moment before looking back to Jihoon. “We’ve come to relinquish you from watching over her.”

“Sounds like bullshit to me,” Jihoon snorts before tightening his grip on his blade. This time, it’s Jisoo who strikes out first, their blades greeting each other with a shuddered clangor. They exchange a few more blows, a strand of Jisoo’s hair edging too close to Jihoon’s blade and quickly getting cut away. The cut strands flutter to the ground and settle by his feet. Instead of looking scared at how close a blade had come to his body, Jisoo shows what seems to be the tiniest bit of respect before lowering his sword.

Jihoon, seeing his opposition falter, lowers his blade as well, taking a step back. Around them, you see that Hansol, Minhyun, Mingyu and Minghao have stopped fighting as well.

“Fighting like this is going to get us nowhere,” Minhyun frowns and looks over to Jisoo, “We’ll only attract more people.”

“I can’t help but feel that that’s targeted at him,” Minghao bites, “I know when to stop, the only one here who’s got an issue with that is—” His gaze trails towards Jisoo as he speaks, biting back a retort.

A deep, almost exasperated sigh from Jisoo, “We don’t have to stay. We’ve only come to verify that the lead was correct.”

“Do you think we’ll just let you walk away?” Hansol questions, his sword still raised towards the trio.

“You three might survive,” Jisoo nods, moving to sheath his sword, “but how many of your men will we have to kill before we escape? Are their lives that expendable?” Jihoon, Hansol and Mingyu remain angrily silent, knowing full well they can’t accept that risk. Jisoo smiles at them, he and the two others beginning to make their way to the forest’s edge, but before they disappear completely, their leader turns and says one last thing to you.

“I will be back for you.” Not wanting to meet his gaze, your eyes travel to the embroidered yellow azaleas on his robes before they vanish in the denseness of the forest.

The words whip through you like an icy chill, curling around your stomach with a fear you haven’t felt since you were a child.

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asks after he’s sheathed his sword and takes a few steps towards you.

“I’m… alright,” you nod weakly, clenching your fists so they won’t shake.

“You’re bad at lying,” he laughs lightly, just wait here for a bit, we’ll have some other men take a few rounds and make sure those three don’t come back.”

“Thank you,” trying to sound as appreciative as you can, you look from Mingyu to Jihoon, who continues to stare into the darkness of the woods as if to try and spot the three figures.

“Do you have any idea why they came after you?” He questions after a moment, locking eyes with you as if to probe your mind.

“I’m not sure…” you relent, not knowing whether Jisoo’s words were accurate or not. Were you really what he said, a Demon?

𝔍𝔲𝔫𝔢 20𝔱𝔥, 662 – 𝔅𝔲𝔩𝔤𝔲𝔨𝔰𝔞 𝔗𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 The incident on the night of the eleventh never comes to the attention of any other members of the Hwarang, save for the commander’s most trusted captains. In lieu of that, life at Bulguksa remains relatively unchanged, the usual grumblings from Gongmyung and his crowd continue as usual and the captain’s antics remain unbothered.

On this balmy morning, you walk through the halls, coming upon a line of Hwarang gaily chatting among themselves as they wait. Suddenly a door opens from the beginning of the line and Gongmyung comes racing out towards your direction.

“Never have I felt so violated,” He huffs exasperatedly, coming towards you. “This is absolutely horrendous!”

“Is something wrong, Gongmyung?” You ask with a tilt of your head, wondering what has the Deputy Commander in such a tizzy.

“Everything!” He pants out, a thin line of panicked sweat trailing down the side of his face, “Why am I meant to disrobe in that room of utter brutes!?”

His sentence making you furrow your brow, what exactly is going on?

“Someone who calls themself a physician who Youngmin met while conversing with the King’s council arrived today,” the Deputy Commander does his best to straighten his robes and adjust his long strands of hair that had gone askew. “He’s holding physical examinations.” With a frown he nods his head towards the door he’d raced out of moments prior, “That monster said I should take my clothes off in front of near strangers! When I refused, he tried to take them off of me himself! And the other captains just stood there! Without doing anything!”

Seeing as your particular… situation might not be the best for physical examination in a group full of men, you think about returning to your room before you ask, “What’s the doctor’s name?”

“I think it was Namekawa Yasuo, some man from Yamato,” Gongmyung huffs indignantly.

“Doctor Namekawa!” You nearly jump at the familiar name.

The other takes a step back in surprise, “Do you know him or something?”

When you’d arrived in Seorabeol with your father’s letter and a few fragments of some from your father’s collection, his name had been among the signatures. It was your intention upon arrival to seek him out, your father had always called him a trustworthy man. Once in Seorabeol, you found that he’d been away on some patient’s request, and after that you’d quickly gotten swept up into the world of the Hwarang.

“I’ve got to go!” You brush away his question and barrel past him towards the door he’d exited from.

“You’re going in there willingly?” Gongmyung calls out from behind you, shaking his head in disgust.

Almost immediately when you open the door you wish you hadn’t.

“Alright, next,” the man you presume to be Dr. Namekawa calls out, motioning forward a Hwarang. A nearly fully disrobed Hwarang.

“My turn!” Junhui shouts and steps forward, only wearing the pants worn underneath of his Hwarang robes. “You’re looking at years of training right here,” he laughs almost comically as he approaches the doctor’s station.

“I think you’re fine, Wen,” Soonyoung scoffs, in a similar state of undress as Junhui, “it’s your head he should be looking at.”

“Are you asking me to beat the shit out of you?” Junhui turns to look at the younger, a grin split across his face.

Dr. Namekawa rolls his eyes at him before speaking, “Wen Junhui, you’re fine. Next!”

“Hold on!” Junhui says, taking a step closer to the doctor and flexing his arm, “You’ve gotta make sure I’m in prime condition!”

“As healthy as a horse,” Namekawa reels, sitting back in his seat, “I’ve seen more than enough, thank you.”

“You’re holding up the line, Wen,” Mingyu calls out, and you spot Hansol standing next to him, both with unamused expressions on their face. “For the love of— please get moving.”

“I just don’t think he’s had enough time to fully make sure I’m okay!” Junhui complains, “I’m trying to make sure I can bulk up more!”

“This is supposed to be about finding medical issues, not boasting,” Hansol sighs, his arms crossed over his chest, “Move.”

Your mouth hangs open in shock, it’s now easy to see why Gongmyung had made such a haste retreat. Shaking your head, you pull yourself from the room and back into the hallway, feeling a creeping heat of embarrassment rise up your neck.

“What are you doing here?” The Hwarang who’s first in line questions, “Is something wrong?”

“Oh!” Turning, you see Chan gazing at you perplexedly. “Hi, I heard Doctor Namekawa was here.”

“Ah, so you want to speak to him?” A tilt of his head. “I’ve been briefed on your situation, so I understand what you’re trying to do… But I’m not sure that this is the way to go about it. I’m sure he can speak to you once the physicals are complete.”

You nod, “I just think they might take a while, some of the captains…”

“I’m aware,” he laughs, “if you want me to, I can try to get things moving a little faster.”

“Would you?” Eyes widening, “I’d be thankful if you could.”

“Of course,” the smile still lingering on his lips, “Just leave it to me.” With that he walks into the room and towards the doctor, “Excuse me, Doctor Namekawa? Please let me look after those whose symptoms are minor, I’m sure you could use a break?”

You stand in the doorway, unable to hear his response, so you step back into the hallway and wait for the doctor to exit. Namekawa Yasuo leaves the room a few moments later, his attention turning to you when you call out to him.

Namekawa’s eyes narrow as he looks at you, inspecting you as if you were one of his patients. “I need to fetch some medicine from my things, would you mind giving me a hand?” He questions, his gaze softening once you nod your head.

On the way towards his things, the two of you walk through one of the courtyards and come across Kwak Youngmin walking towards you. He nods at the doctor before glancing to you, “I see you’ve found her already.”

“Thanks to you,” Namekawa nods with a smile at the leader.

Your brow furrows as you search both of their expressions before the doctor speaks up once more, “I came to Bulguksa to see you. Youngmin told me that Heo’s daughter was staying with the Hwarang.”

“I see,” you realize, your eyes widening as you look towards Youngmin.

“I knew that Namekawa and Heo know each other,” Youngmin smiles softly, “So I thought that maybe the doctor knew of his friend’s whereabouts.”

Even if the Hwarang wanted to find your father for reasons other than yours, this slight clue was still causation enough for you to feel happy.

“Thank you,” a bow to Youngmin and one to Namekawa, “both of you.”

Namekawa then goes on to say how you’d left just before he arrived at your father’s clinic in Toehwa-hyeon when you’d gone off to Seorabeol. He’d received the letter you sent but once arriving had no idea of where you’d gone or how to find you.

“I apologize for not seeking you out sooner,” he sounds remorseful, “It must’ve been difficult. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.”

“About my father…” the words leave you and Namekawa’s face turns grim, you already feel as if you know the answer.

“Unfortunately,” he says once your words have trailed off, “I do not know where your father is residing.”

“Oh,” utter defeat lamenting in your voice as you speak the singular word. You almost feel bad now for feeling so hopeful that Namekawa would have some earth-shattering news about the whereabouts of your father.

“I hear, though,” Namekawa coughs into his hand to clear his throat, “that you’ve become involved with the treatment… You do know what I’m referring to, right?”

“Are you able to explain it anymore?” You’d learned of the serum, seen what it had done to those who’d taken it. But why, why is your father involved with it? “I want to know what my father was experimenting for.”

“Heo was working under Crown orders with the Hwarang to create what are called ‘Furies’,” Namekawa’s voice is low as he speaks, gravelly with a seriousness that permeates into you. “Furies are humans with near supernatural strength and speed. They heal incredibly quickly as well.”

“Furies?” The word lingers familiarly on your tongue, it takes a moment, but you realize you’d heard the word before. Soonyoung had tried to explain to you what they are on the night that Seungcheol had been injured last year.

“The contents of the serum are called pimul,” Namekawa crosses his arm, tone still low, “in Tang they call it ‘al iksir’ and in Yamato it’s ‘ochimizu’. It’s meant to grant immortality.”

These words sound like some sort of fantastical fairytale than what’s meant to be real life. Yet, the seriousness of the doctor assures you that it isn’t a sick joke.

“I’ve heard of its healing and strength giving properties,” you nod, “but doesn’t it cause the drinker to go mad?” Recalling the night you had stumbled into Seorabeol and the nobles who’d been attacked by the rouge Hwarang furies causes you to shudder. “And even if that doesn’t drive you insane, the smell of blood can set you off too…”

A heaving sigh as Namekawa nods solemnly, moving then to pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, “So you’re aware of that as well…”

“Why was my father doing this?” You plead more than ask, trying to search the depths of your mind to reason with yourself and come to a believable situation that would’ve caused Heo Jinsang to work with such a vile creation.

“That may have been why he left,” Namekawa suggests softly, “His morals would no longer allow him to work on such a thing.”

“And yet we were given the pimul by the Crown to help strengthen the Hwarang…” Youngmin frowns and looks towards the sidewalk.

“It was an experiment,” Namekawa shakes his head, “and it failed. It’s probably best to leave it behind, I’m sure the Crown has abandoned its ambition with it as well.”

The leader looks up and frowns at the doctor, probably unhappy to hear that Namekawa would question the Crown’s once official decision.

“You’ve seen what it’s done to your men,” Namekawa insists, “It’s inhumane and you know it better than I do.”

Youngmin lets out a huff of air and then falls silent. You know that he knows how detrimental it is to his men, painfully so. Yet, the pimul was given to him on official orders and a secret request from the former King.

“I understand that you’re one of the King’s doctors, yet…” A voice from behind after a moment of silence. Your eyes widen at the sight of Seungcheol in the daylight, knowing that the sun’s rays have an adverse effect on him. “You’re not a member of the Hwarang, you have no right to object to our methods.” His face paling in the light, lost of all color, almost as if he were a walking corpse.

“Are you okay walking around like this?” You ask him quietly, your voice teetering on worry and a whisper.

“You look pale, Seungcheol,” Youngmin frowns at the colonel, “You should be resting.”

“Don’t mind me,” Seungcheol shakes his head and then turns to the doctor. “We use the serum effectively and at our own discretion.” His gaze hardens when they lock eyes, his voice becoming gravely serious, almost as if he’s been offended.

“It’s far too dangerous to—” Namekawa begins before being interrupted by Seungcheol.

“We have and will continue to work on Heo’s research.” His voice, behind the veneer of quiet anger, sounds weakened. “I am living proof of its effectiveness.”

“You may be right,” Namekawa cedes before raising another point, “But that doesn’t mean you’re not forcing your body in ways unseen with the eye.”

“I’m perfectly healthy,” Seungcheol insists, “With continued research and alterations to the serum, we’ll have less casualties and more success.”

“And are you planning on sacrificing your men for your success?” Namekawa frowns, “These men aren’t just common folk, many are the sons of nobles, aristocrats! Sons who will be missed should they just disappear.”

“It’s not as if we’re force feeding them pimul.” Seungcheol’s agitated at the doctor, you don’t know the last he was able to see his own family since becoming a Fury. “The men who devote and give their lives to the Hwarang are the foundation of my work, they did not and will not die in vain.”

“But—”

“I think that’s enough,” Youngmin steps in before the doctor can say anything else, “from either of you. Let’s discuss this at another time.”

To you it seems that neither Seungcheol or Namekawa would ever come to a civil agreement on the ethics of the serum’s usage. But that was an opinion you feel is best not said at this moment.

The anger in Seungcheol’s face subsides, and the corner of his mouth turns up into a smile before he bows and leaves the three of you wordlessly.

“So…” Youngmin says as Seungcheol recedes back into the headquarters inner buildings, “How did exams go?”

“About that,” Namekawa begins, “It’s a bit troubling.”

“Troubling?” Youngmin asks, confused, “What do you mean by that?”

“What do you mean ‘What do you mean’?” Namekawa frowns, “The amount of injured and ill men you have is nearly a quarter of your forces!”

“That’s—” Youngmin’s voice catches in his throat, “Are you sure?”

“I am not only sure, but it is the definite truth,” A disparaging shake of his head, “What have you been doing to these men? Cuts, lacerations, bowel pains… Need I mention the lice?”

“I’m embarrassed to hear that, I really am,” Youngmin looks as such, his ears pink as he droops his shoulders. “What can I do?”

“Set aside a space for the ill and those needing medical attention, for starters. I can send some Pyrethrum powder for the lice,” Namekawa lists off and you can see Youngmin mentally making a list, “Second, this place needs to be cleaned. I can’t help you otherwise.”

“Of course,” Youngmin nods, the tinge of embarrassment still riding his tone, “I’ll have everything seen to immediately.”

And so, the Hwarang are ordered to clean. Those who are able-bodied enough to hold a broom or a rag are sent to the main hall, Youngmin quickly barking out cleaning orders and sending them all over Bulguksa to thoroughly scrub the temple down.

“Why the hell are we doing this?” Junhui grumbles as he sits on his knees, scrubbing at the wooden floors. “I can think of nothing less I would want to be doing right now.”

“Stop complaining so much,” Mingyu sighs and calls him over, “Help me lift up this cabinet, it’s a great way to show off your muscles from earlier.”

You’re walking into the main hall with a bucket of water when you hear Soonyoung cry out, causing you to jump and spill some of the liquid onto the floor and your shoes.

“A RAT!” He nearly screeches, hopping behind Hansol when he spots the gray creature dart out from a bookcase.

“Calm down Soonyoung,” Hansol looks as if he’s holding back a smile, trying to keep the reserved demeanor he usually has, “It’s not that bad. It actually looks like it’s eating that—is that dried up tteok?”

“Yeah!” Soonyoung says, leaning forward to get a look at the rat’s snack, “Who the hell hides their sweets back here?!”

A grumble from the other side of the room, you look over to see Kangjoon holding a boom, “Why are we bothering ourselves with work a servant should be doing? I’m a strategist, not a cleaner.”

“Why don’t you show us your school’s technique, then?” Mingyu scoffs, “You said it’s prized knowledge, maybe it can help us here.”

“Shut it!” Kangjoon says angrily, “The Pohang style wasn’t designed to help with housework!”

“You’re a little bit of a bully, huh, Mingyu?” Doyoung snickers as he peeks out from behind one of the various shelves, “Those old-timey tactics of his wouldn’t even allow him to hold a broomstick, let alone make a dent in this mess.”

Kangjoon’s stare hardens at Doyoung, “You should watch your mouth… Compared to the techniques from Tang it may be outdated, but I can assure you it still holds up.”

“Oh,” Mingyu looks past Kangjoon and out one of the doorways, “Youngmin’s coming.”

“Chief!” Kangjoon spins on his heels towards the door, “Look at this, the room was so filthy you couldn’t even walk properly, and with my guidance it’s—” He stops once he realizes there’s no one standing in the doorway, “Where’s Kwak?”

“You’re an idiot,” Mingyu rolls his eyes.

“Damn you, Kim,” Kangjoon spits venomously, “You tricked me!”

“An idiot and a kiss ass,” Mingyu hums, “Quite the multitasker. Don’t you ever get tired being such a two-faced asshole, not knowing which mask to wear?”

Kangjoon fumes and angrily stomps down towards the other end of the hall. You see this as an opportunity to proclaim your findings.

“I brought you all some fresh rags and water to help you clean the floor with,” you announce, holding out the bucket and handful of cloth to the captains.

“Thanks!” Soonyoung says as he bounds over, swiftly taking the items from your grasp and heading back to his work station.

𝔍𝔲𝔫𝔢 21𝔰𝔱, 662 – 𝔅𝔲𝔩𝔤𝔲𝔨𝔰𝔞 𝔗𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 “This looks to be adequate enough,” Namekawa Yasuo had arrived early the next morning to check the cleanliness of the headquarters. He now stands in the main hall, a look of approval on his features as he notes the sheen of the floorboards.

“Right?” Junhui beams, “See? The doc can acknowledge my hard work.”

Kangjoon lets out something of a guffaw at the statement, “Compared to the nuances of strategy, it’s not like tidying up is a magnificent feat or anything.”

“All you did was complain,” Junhui frowns.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung nods, “And Seungkwan got to rest all day! Sounds like he was getting special treatment while we worked our asses off.”

“Not my fault,” Seungkwan raises his hands to show he’s innocent from that decision, “Jihoon’s the one being overprotective.”

“It is your fault,” Jihoon snaps at him, arms crossing over his chest, “You’re not taking care of yourself, that’s why you’re coughing up a lung.”

“I will admit,” Hansol say, looking around the space, “It is nice seeing the headquarters put together.”

“It does look different,” Jihoon nods, also taking a moment to admire the cleanliness of the main hall, “I hope to keep it this way.”

“Then we should clean every day,” Mingyu laughs aloud.

“Great idea! Make sure you scrub the baseboards, Soonyoung,” Junhui jokes along with the other while Soonyoung’s eyes go wide.

“But you’ve got the most energy and the biggest muscles, Junhui! Don’t think I’m letting you slide on this,” the younger argues to the two others.

“I’ll help you,” you offer with a smile, knowing that he’d need it.

“Really?” He perks up, “Yeah, we don’t need them anyway, you and me against the world!”

“Hold on,” Junhui interrupts, “I didn’t say that I wasn’t going to help…”

Jihoon lets out a laugh, “Wen, there’s some trash over there, mind taking it out?”

“Hooold on, we’re not starting until tomorrow, right?” Junhui looks to Soonyoung for help.

“If you keep flailing your arms like that, you’re only going to stir up more dust,” Hansol sighs as he watches Junhui scramble to big up the assorted pieces of garbage.

You laugh at the scene until something catches your eye, you spot both Namekawa and Seungkwan duck out of the room and head outside. Brow furrowing for a moment, you think to follow after them but stop yourself as it isn’t any of your concern.

After the ruckus in the main hall dies down, you grab a broom and head outside to sweep away fallen debris from the walkway leading to the main hall. You’ve just started to sweep the broom across the agate stone when a figure appears before you.

Head turning up from looking down at the azalea embroidered robes, all you can spurt out is a “You!” before taking a step back.

“You’ve got ancient blood running through your veins and yet you clean up after these humans?” Jisoo sounds saddened on the verge of disgust as he looks to you.

“What are you doing here?” You question, the grip you have on the broom handle tightening as he chuckles at you.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to fight me with that?” He shakes his head, biting back a laugh, “Was your family not blessed with brains?”

You don’t respond, instead look around for anything or anyone who could help you. Of course, the entrance lies empty, all of the captains still squabbling somewhere deep in the compound.

“Calm down,” Jisoo sighs, his laugher ceasing, “I’m not here to fight today. I only want to know what, if anything, you have to do with Heo Jinsang.”

Stunned by his statement, your lips part in shock, “My father?”

“…Father?” Jisoo looks surprised by your answer, “Heo Jinsang is your father?”

“Yes,” you nod, “he is.”

The man seems shocked at first, then that emotion melts away as it looks as if he’s putting the pieces of a puzzle together. He opens his mouth to say something else but a voice behind you stops him.

“Sneaking into your enemy’s base alone?” Jihoon’s voice rings out as his footsteps approach, the sound of dirt underfoot crunching growing nearer and nearer. “I thought you’d be smarter than that.”

A few other pairs of footsteps and you turn and see him flanked by both Mingyu and Soonyoung.

“In broad daylight too,” Mingyu shakes his head at the intruder, “Figures.”

“Get away from her!” Soonyoung’s a little more adamant, his hand already hovering over his sword.

“The Hwarang only come in bushels, huh?” Jisoo says, seemingly wanting to egg the men on.

“Watch it,” Jihoon says sternly, the tension between the two becoming more palpable by the second.

Surprisingly, it’s Jisoo who tries to sate it. “If you want to fight, then I’ll be happy to do so… But I’m here for other reasons, more specifically, to issue a warning.” His eyes grow dark and his tone more serious at his next statement, “Stop trying to turn humans into Demons.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jihoon frowns as he watches the other carefully.

“What makes you think that we’re going to listen to you?” Mingyu pokes at Jisoo.

“You’re all idiots,” Jisoo shakes his head warily, “Can’t you see that I’m trying to help you?” He rolls his eyes, “Forget it, it was useless trying to say anything to you.”

“This is our base,” Soonyoung raises his voice, “You should shut up before we decide to do something about you being here.”

Jisoo ignores the captain’s words and turns to you, a coldness in his eyes as he speaks, “Heo is with us now, don’t you understand what that means?” He searches your eyes for a spark of recognition, but it doesn’t seem to click so he elaborates further, “Your father has abandoned the Crown.”

“What…?” You say, still puzzled by what he means.

“Why are you here?” A cold smile to match his gaze creeps onto his lips, “I think you should ponder on that. Carefully.” With that final statement he turns on his heels and seems to disappear into the shadows. You’re not sure if he just did, your mind too caught up in what he just said.

What or who were the Demons? Your father is with them? You thought Hong Jisoo’s family to be just opposing the opposite side of the court that favored the Hwarang, was it a ruse and he’s actually some sort of revivalist? Does this mean that your father is working with them?

Who are these people that call themselves “Demons”? And what do they want with you?

Jisoo had said that you have the blood of a Demon…

“Why’s he after you anyway?” Soonyoung asks one the dust settles.

“You know the answer as much as I do,” Mingyu huffs, “There’s only one reason a guy would go through so much trouble over a girl.”

“What?” Soonyoung questions, “What is it?”

“I’ll bet you anything that he’s in love with her.”

“What?!” You nearly squeak out. Mingyu’s response is… surprising to say the least, and it seems to have come from nowhere.

“Why’re you so surprised?” Mingyu nearly laughs, “Sure, you dress like a boy, but you really think a smart guy can’t figure out the truth? That guy’s a bastard, but he’s sharp.”

“No way, he can’t be—” You vehemently shake your head, “That’s not the reason!”

“You might be the only person that feels that way, you know.”

“Why d’you have to bring in your dirty thoughts into every conversation you have,” Soonyoung whines. “Don’t you think now isn’t the best time to be talking about this kinda stuff with her?”

“I’m not bringing my dirty mind into anything. I’m just calling it as I see it.”

You’re unsure of what to say, but your face does feel unbearably hot.

“Knock it off,” Jihoon orders, “Back to work, you two.” His voice lowers, “Also, stop talking about her identity when other warriors are around to hear it.”