Affection Starved - Tumblr Posts
Remember, not Reminisce
Today I’m feeling touch-starved, and it’s on these days that I miss him the most.
When I’m feeling emotional I try to remember rather than reminisce. When we were together and I would reach out to him in bed in the morning or in the middle of the night, he would shrug me off angry that I woke him.
He rarely, if ever, cured my need for affection. So what is there to lament?
I am having trouble explaining the connection my brain made here, but the affection he showed the family dog made me realize just how touch and affection starved I was.
He and I had sex every night we were together, give or take, but that was it. Cuddling, holding hands, leaning on him, hell even hugs... It all made him hot, or uncomfortable, or prevented him from doing more important things.
So i stopped asking, and felt a longing when he gave the dog stritches.
He made me jealous of the dog. How messed up is that?
...like I CAN, with explicit consent from you.
But like, we gotta talk about guidelines first, what's off limits?
I need to know, my brain is bad at this. I must be told boundaries. But absolutely, if you want me to degrade your ass and it makes you happy and turned on– Fuck, I'll try my best.
I will degrade you if that's your kink while edging you, watching your expression twist and making sure you know I'm listening in case you want to use the safe word.
y'know....If you want
"How are you?"
I haven't touched a dog in 4 weeks. I'm devastated.
Despite ssmmy being soft, it is amazing. I prefer dean being adorable as hell. Like him being scared, sam might hate him for his sick thoughts, their first kiss, and how sam led it as Dean was so out. Like, yeah, dean leads in the room, but he belongs to sammy. Sam knows how to calm his old guy dean and is just a siren to dean;making dean turn into lump jello. Dean is still whining when sam hugs him softly. Making love is way better than rabbit routines. Forehead kisses for dean to calm down. Like just sammy doing all the boyfriend/husband fluffy stuff to dean, as dean melts into slime.