Alternate Original Series - Tumblr Posts
Rating (some of) star trek characters from tos and aos by whether or not I think they wash their ass.
Jim T Kirk (tos):
Yes absolutely 8/10 very clean as expected from a bisexual man with a lot of gay feelings for his first officer.
Jim T Kirk (aos):
A cursory wipe but he gets better eventually after he hooks up with a girl who likes pegging and discovers his ✨gay feeling✨. 3/10 to like, 6/10.
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy:
Yes. Spotless, both versions original and reboot. This man is a doctor and also just hygienic. 10/10.
Spock (tos):
Quick and efficient, this is a man who showers in five minutes and is still cleaner than the guy who took a three hour shower. 10/10.
Spock (aos):
He's still riding the high of his first act of rebellion and sees his ass as too dirty to touch but still attempts it. I'll give him a 5/10 for effort.
Sulu:
Yes. This is a homosexual, not only does he clean his ass, he values personal hygiene and dedicated Saturdays to taking care of himself. 12/10.
Chekov:
No, this is a teenage boy who's booksmarts have left no room for common sense and he joined Starfleet at fourteen, right at the worst time, puberty wise. 1/10 because he's a clean boy otherwise.
Uhura:
Do I even have to give a reason? This is a women with class. Of course she cleans her ass. 10/10
That's all for now, feel free to disagree and I'm not a coward so if someone gives me a compelling enough arguement to change one of the ratings I will.
campaign to change the ship name from spirk to kock