Asaw 2019 - Tumblr Posts

Prompt 1 February 17&18: Discovery 

I started questioning my sexuality two and half years ago, and for a while I was experimenting with different labels and words to describe myself. Figuring out I was asexual was pretty easy, but my romantic orientation continued to confuse me - sometimes it still does. I knew for certain I fell on the aromantic spectrum when a close friend of mine developed a crush on me, and we started to ‘date’. It became pretty clear to me that there was a problem, and it wasn’t my friend. Two weeks into our relationship, I had to break it off, and I explained all my feelings and discomforts to my friend. Ever since then, I’ve been exploring my aromantic-ness and finding new ways to describe and express it. 

I don’t ever want to date someone, or even kiss them - like a real kiss. I don’t know how I know this for certain, but I do. I never want to say about my relationship with someone “we’re an item. don’t touch us.” Staying single is what works for me. I’m a really affectionate, emotionally open person, but I’ve learned that it’s hard for me to show love for someone without leading them on. I’ve been aware of people developing feelings for me that they think I might reciprocate, but I don’t. It has hurt some friendships and my own way of expressing myself. But I’m just gonna focus on being me, and loving people exactly the way I want to.